D&D 5E So long and thanks for all the fish!
- Thread starter Thedip
- Start date
Whatever this thread was, is and may well be, one thing is true:
THIS WAS FLOUNCING AWESOME!
THIS WAS FLOUNCING AWESOME!
rgoodbb
Adventurer
"We need to get to the trapdoor. We should Av a distraction."
Edith: "Leave that to me. Tonight I will perform magic. I will sing as I have never sung before."
"What, in tune?"
"I can Old a tuna"
"Quick, we must Urry. Before I let zat image burn ito Ma Mand""
"THACAEU" "THAKKOHE" "THA.."
"What? Who are you?"
"It eez...Oh come on we Av no time for theez. Up, Up"
With the trapdoor shut and everyone on board, THACO beamed a smile to his passengers. "We are going to Arabia my friends. Home of Sultans, Flying Carpets and the Djinn."
Rene turned to Moss. "Why do you av a Mullet?"
"................I was recently cursed."
Edith: "Leave that to me. Tonight I will perform magic. I will sing as I have never sung before."
"What, in tune?"
"I can Old a tuna"
"Quick, we must Urry. Before I let zat image burn ito Ma Mand""
"THACAEU" "THAKKOHE" "THA.."
"What? Who are you?"
"It eez...Oh come on we Av no time for theez. Up, Up"
With the trapdoor shut and everyone on board, THACO beamed a smile to his passengers. "We are going to Arabia my friends. Home of Sultans, Flying Carpets and the Djinn."
Rene turned to Moss. "Why do you av a Mullet?"
"................I was recently cursed."
BoldItalic
First Post
As the Persian carpet glided silently over occupied France, Moss pointed out a large white arrow painted on the fields below and asked THAC0 if he knew what it was for. "It is so that aeroplanes can find the landing field in the dark. It points to Flug Paris NE," he replied, then turning to Carp, he enquired "Wadd you car for simthong from ze tralley?"
"Nut root gnaw," said Carp, struggling to contain his mirth and stay in character. He had already changed back from his gendarme's uniform into his usual scale mail and the urge to shift his vowels had been relieved a little earlier.
Ariadne was curious and asked THAC0 about the flying carpet. She was particularly interested in how it was woven into this thread but out of politeness she asked about the engines first.
"It's the new anagram improbability drive," explained THAC0 proudly. "The latest thing. One minute we are over Flug Paris NE, then in the blink of an eye, we are over the Persian Gulf."
Ariadne was impressed. She looked down, and just beneath them was a wine-dark sea looking exceptionally Homeric1 with schools of dolphins frolicking amid the mosaics.
Then, suddenly, but not wholly unexpectedly, everything went horribly wrong to the extent that he carpet turned into a long thin fish that dived into the sea and swam away, leaving the passengers bobbing about in the water wearing bright orange inflatable life-jackets. There had been a total systems failure, the ADV had dropped out and the an◦gram ◦ri◦e had turned into a marine gar.
Deep down below them on the sea bed, something stirred ...
1 The phrase "wine-dark sea" has puzzled scholars for centuries. There is a theory that Homer drank a peculiar greenish-blue wine, the secret of which has been lost. Or maybe he confused the Aegean with the Red Sea after a bottle or two of a particularly fine claret. Authorities differ.
"Nut root gnaw," said Carp, struggling to contain his mirth and stay in character. He had already changed back from his gendarme's uniform into his usual scale mail and the urge to shift his vowels had been relieved a little earlier.
Ariadne was curious and asked THAC0 about the flying carpet. She was particularly interested in how it was woven into this thread but out of politeness she asked about the engines first.
"It's the new anagram improbability drive," explained THAC0 proudly. "The latest thing. One minute we are over Flug Paris NE, then in the blink of an eye, we are over the Persian Gulf."
Ariadne was impressed. She looked down, and just beneath them was a wine-dark sea looking exceptionally Homeric1 with schools of dolphins frolicking amid the mosaics.
Then, suddenly, but not wholly unexpectedly, everything went horribly wrong to the extent that he carpet turned into a long thin fish that dived into the sea and swam away, leaving the passengers bobbing about in the water wearing bright orange inflatable life-jackets. There had been a total systems failure, the ADV had dropped out and the an◦gram ◦ri◦e had turned into a marine gar.
Deep down below them on the sea bed, something stirred ...
1 The phrase "wine-dark sea" has puzzled scholars for centuries. There is a theory that Homer drank a peculiar greenish-blue wine, the secret of which has been lost. Or maybe he confused the Aegean with the Red Sea after a bottle or two of a particularly fine claret. Authorities differ.
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rgoodbb
Adventurer
It was of course a Gnarled Trout which doesn't sound too bad until you mix in the anagram improbability drive. The Gargantuan shell of the Dragon Turtle rose from the abyss and took a look around.
It was sure it felt a disturbance in the flow. It needed to blow off some steam anyway. It exhaled and a scolding ray ejected from its might maw.
It then slowly submerged leaving the newcomers bobbing around with Scolding Ray......
It was sure it felt a disturbance in the flow. It needed to blow off some steam anyway. It exhaled and a scolding ray ejected from its might maw.
It then slowly submerged leaving the newcomers bobbing around with Scolding Ray......
BoldItalic
First Post
"Hi, folks," said Ray swimming lazily around, "I'm here to reprimand, reprove, rebuke, chide, take to task, reproach, blame, censure, lecture, nag, admonish, upbraid, castigate, berate and lambaste."
"What, all at once? Doesn't sound much like fun," remarked Moss.
"You're a very naughty druid, to say such things."
Carp somehow sensed that it was time to take decisive action. "Everybody, gather round me," he commanded. I'm going use Shape Water to form a ship around us. Any preferences?"
"Barque," suggested Bogweed who was happily chasing some catfish.
"Good idea," agreed THAC0.
"Whatever you think, dear," said Ariadne, adding "Will there be sailors aboard? You can always rely on sailors to spin a good yarn." Then she blushed prettily, in case people thought ...
"Here goes ..."
"You're not doing it right. You're not waving your holy symbol up and down like you're supposed to and you're saying the words all wrong," chided Ray.
Carp ignored the annoying chatter and finished his spell. "There we are," he announced. "She's called the Molly after my mum. All aboard!"
"I suppose you know the flags are pointing the wrong way, with the sails set for a wind from the port beam? And with that swell, you need to reef the t'gallants ..." were Ray's parting words as they sailed merrily away and left him behind.
"Land ahoy!" came the cry a few hours later ...
"What, all at once? Doesn't sound much like fun," remarked Moss.
"You're a very naughty druid, to say such things."
Carp somehow sensed that it was time to take decisive action. "Everybody, gather round me," he commanded. I'm going use Shape Water to form a ship around us. Any preferences?"
"Barque," suggested Bogweed who was happily chasing some catfish.
"Good idea," agreed THAC0.
"Whatever you think, dear," said Ariadne, adding "Will there be sailors aboard? You can always rely on sailors to spin a good yarn." Then she blushed prettily, in case people thought ...
"Here goes ..."
"You're not doing it right. You're not waving your holy symbol up and down like you're supposed to and you're saying the words all wrong," chided Ray.
Carp ignored the annoying chatter and finished his spell. "There we are," he announced. "She's called the Molly after my mum. All aboard!"
"I suppose you know the flags are pointing the wrong way, with the sails set for a wind from the port beam? And with that swell, you need to reef the t'gallants ..." were Ray's parting words as they sailed merrily away and left him behind.
"Land ahoy!" came the cry a few hours later ...
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BoldItalic
First Post
"I know where we are," said Ariadne unexpectedly.
"You do? Where?"
"Ur"
"You don't sound very sure?"
"No, that's what that city over there is called. We've slipped back in time again. This is Babylonia."
Moss lit a ziggurat and inhaled slowly. "I have a bad feeling about this."
"Well, we're here. You have contacts in this part of the world, THAC0, do you know anywhere ashore we can get a good meal?" wondered Carp.
THAC0 consulted a small book that he fished out a pocket in his baggy trousers. "There's the Gilgamesh and Lion, apparently that's quite good, or the Cedar of Lebanon but that's mainly for vegetarians. If you want something spicy there's the Hanging Gardens. The Ch'K'N K'Ri is recommended."
"BARK!"
"What is it, Bogweed?"
"BARK! BARK! BARK!"
"Uh-oh. Where did they come from?"
"You do? Where?"
"Ur"
"You don't sound very sure?"
"No, that's what that city over there is called. We've slipped back in time again. This is Babylonia."
Moss lit a ziggurat and inhaled slowly. "I have a bad feeling about this."
"Well, we're here. You have contacts in this part of the world, THAC0, do you know anywhere ashore we can get a good meal?" wondered Carp.
THAC0 consulted a small book that he fished out a pocket in his baggy trousers. "There's the Gilgamesh and Lion, apparently that's quite good, or the Cedar of Lebanon but that's mainly for vegetarians. If you want something spicy there's the Hanging Gardens. The Ch'K'N K'Ri is recommended."
"BARK!"
"What is it, Bogweed?"
"BARK! BARK! BARK!"
"Uh-oh. Where did they come from?"
rgoodbb
Adventurer
The They were upon them in no time at all. Surrounded on all sides bar the sea, the adventurers were taken to the prison, split up and interrogated separately.
"Where are you from?"
"Well that one's tricky. First when are we from and then which dimension. I mean where do I start".................
"What are you doing here?"
"Not quite sure really. The quest is a little iffy if you ask me. Let me see"..............
"What accent is that?"
"Aah due nut ef to ansrr zat unduur articaal IV of the sheniva conven-seon"............
"Where are you from?"
"Well that one's tricky. First when are we from and then which dimension. I mean where do I start".................
"What are you doing here?"
"Not quite sure really. The quest is a little iffy if you ask me. Let me see"..............
"What accent is that?"
"Aah due nut ef to ansrr zat unduur articaal IV of the sheniva conven-seon"............
Lanefan
Victoria Rules
And with this the They, having received no coherent answers despite using their best interrogation methods (which usually involved consumption of copious amount of tea and scones by all present), had no choice but to report failure to their superiors: a group of Clerical sorts referred to elsewhere in whispers as the Red Priests of They
And the Priests were not amused.....
And the Priests were not amused.....
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