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Quick & Memorable NPCs in 1 page 1.0

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An old Dungeon magazine article proposed a "rule of 3" for NPCs that would stick in player memory much more effectively than a raw physical description such as "you see a blue-eyed barmaid." This tells you nothing useful, generates no interest, and will quickly be forgotten. However, with a quick 3-pick, I can get (1) visual: absurd accessory, (2) auditory: speaks in whispers / weird laugh, and (3) mannerism: animated by violent talk. From there, in 30 seconds or less, I can come up with:

The players (1) see a barmaid serving drinks with a snake wrapped around her arm. If they (2) talk to her, she only speaks when necessary, and then only in whispers (because she was strangled last night with a visible bruise, covered by her dress.) She is conscious of having an odd, barking laugh. (3) Mannerism. She acts completely bored with anything the PCs say unless it has to do with violence, wherein she gets visibly excited and engaged.

If I want to make this an adventure hook, maybe the Robin Street Strangler escaped and is back in the docks district, and no one is protecting the working class. Or, maybe the bruises are spotted, but she doesn't want folks to know it actually was a consensual event with the Duke during a secret affair that would be a massive scandal if exposed.

I kept this at 1-page because I don't want to slow down by flipping pages. Same for dice ranges. I can just pick instead of slowing down by rolling.
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toucanbuzz
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A finely formatted .pdf file with a decent collection of NPC traits. Adding dice rolls— even considering the author's aversion to them for the sake of this document's brevity —and removing the single use of ostentatious verbiage would make this 4 stars. There's no need to use "kohled eyes" in this document. Virtually no one is going to know what that means. Even Google wasn't immediately helpful on the subject when I just tried to look it up, because that term is so archaic. "...painted her eyes and lips..."–Reba McEntire. 'Nough said. ;)
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