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Beat It We’ve met a monster and it’s ready for a fight But you’re saying we should parley, and that killing isn’t right Well we’ve taken a long walk, and we haven’t come to talk So beat it, just beat it It’s now come round to your initiative score No need to be reminded what your weapon’s for...

You came down from the mountains with your army You breached our walls and massacred our best Now you’re shacked up comfortably inside our castle And you never give our townsfolk any rest This mace is made for bashing And that’s what it'll do One of these days this mace is gonna bash all over...

One more for the road Right now I can’t see anything Somewhere the dragon is lurking My ears are ringing with the elf’s last scream When will the dragon find me? Now that it’s through with my party I’m standing up, and now it’s clear to me That I’m bloodied, and low on HP Is there somewhere I...

We went down, never thinking we’d come back Watching out for that mean beholder Jack But it’s all right now, he’s just a gas But it’s all right, Jumping Jack Flash is a ball of gas We had quested, all the way to level ten And we thought that we’d never fight again But it’s all right, yeah, he...

Here's what the monsters sing when the party's about to arrive. Early in the evening, just about supper time Over in the tavern, they’re starting to unwind A fighter, cleric, wizard, rogue are marching down this way Get ready for a battle, orcs, coz it won’t be their day Down in the dungeon...

Obviously, they were wanting to do an ecumenopolis for a D&D setting. (Doesn't everyone, at some stage?) So they searched about, and found a readymade one in Ravnica. Then they had to lure it over from the Magic side and slap it into D&D-shape. So far, it's looking good.

When asked "Who'd like to write a Greyhawk sourcebook?" the WotC staffers will glance nervously at the to-do list to see whether bear wrestling is still available. I'm expecting Dark Sun to be the next cab off the rank. Then an expanded Ravenloft - well maybe not, but I can dream.

I picked Excited, as Very Excited would be reserved for a new Spelljammer setting. My initial reaction was "Ravnica? Really? I wonder how much Magic will be involved." As I learned more, my hopes for a new Planeswalker class using a colored-mana system faded, but I still thought this could be a...

I proudly commit all the grammatical sins mentioned in this thread. But for me, 'ass' will always be a donkey. As for gaming, I can live with most things, but can only ask that players accept the DM's rulings and try to remember their character sheets.

The Two and 4T's travels brought them to a strange tavern with a cast of fascinating folks, and a soap that scored off the scale on the Hare Psychopathy Checklist. "Well then, we have enough to eat from discarded trenchers." said 4T. "Shall we practice a bit, get up to blue belt?" "There's a...

Look away, quick! Before you read it! The Two's whiskers twitched. "Hey, what's that?" he wondered aloud, going to have a closer look. "Looks like a book ... much smaller than they usually are." said 4T. "Let's have a gander at the title - it's written by Sun Tzu." "The Art of War?" "No...

One moment, the cacophony of battle. Then, a phenomenal roar, a flash of brilliant white light from one horizon to the other, and ... silence. "Crikey, what was that?" "Wrath of God." "Is that in the Player's Handbook?" "No, it's a Magic: The Gathering card." "Mixing game systems? Using an...

The heroes, while reeking and near bloodied, were relieved it wasn't Cone of Hagfish, or the legendarily dreaded Surstromming Swarm. "Fight on!" rang out Warlady Terri's voice. In all the commotion, no one noticed a small floating skull just outside the perimeter. Till it spoke, in sepulchral...

During the lunch break, a couple of players were chatting. "Cripes Jethro, you look as white as a ghost. What's up?" "Well, I was given out Leg Before Wicket, and as you do, I started swearing a bit, doing my nut, and telling the umpire that it was missing by a mile and he should've gone to...

Phinsk woke up in a cold dark alleyway, with hard stones underneath him and some scruffy street cat licking his face. Groaning with a massive headache, Phinsk growled "Get away ya bugger.", roughly shoving the cat aside. "Meow! Is that any way to treat your patron?" said the cat. "Oh darn, this...

While all this is resolved. Bobuntil crouched in his secret hideout, brass welder goggles donned and hammer in hand. He did not cackle wildly, as that was far too cliched. However, his face was furrowed in concentration as he began the task of building a new Acererak. "Wood didn't work that...

Late at night, in the drizzling rain, a mysterious stranger crept along the cobblestones, pressed up against the walls to shield from the rain, a hooded lantern in one hand to light her way. She grimaced, knowing she was late for this assignment. Doing the rounds this evening had taken much...

All round the table, it grew quiet. Well, it would have been quiet had it not been for the sound of Stonnard's gut thunderously rumbling away. "Is something the matter, Stonnard?" Acererak asked, with ominous mildness. The safe option would've been to say "No, nothing" and keep suffering in...

"Ok Stonnard, put that thing down." said Jezza. "It's been ages, and we're late for dinner." "On here?" asked Stonnard, motioning towards a huge pile of ten-foot poles that nearly blocked the passage. "Yeah, sure." replied Jezza. "Looks like most groups give up their 10 foot poles around this...

Meanwhile, across the world somewhere. An intrepid band of adventurers approached a mysterious cave entrance in the side of a hill. In front of the entrance stood a battered wooden sign. Craning her neck forward, the half-elven ranger Jezza squinted to read the sign. "Welcome to the ... TOMB OF...