D&D 5E So long and thanks for all the fish!

[rgoodbb]

Just decided to check the last page, I like how this thread bears no relationship to the opening post in any way, shape, or form.

Read back. Go a little further. No passed that bit. Just a little more and......there. Post 175 or for a quicker catch-up 228 onwards. It will read like the most eloquent novella that you have ever set eyes upon...or not. There may be 4 or 5 sentences that are relevant to the title but we may have hidden them for your excited perusement.

Enjoy......Or totally ignore.

We appreciate your post, ta.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Just decided to check the last page, I like how this thread bears no relationship to the opening post in any way, shape, or form.

It is the new way.

 

[BoldItalic]

Just decided to check the last page, I like how this thread bears no relationship to the opening post in any way, shape, or form.

Oh, but it does

Did you miss where the So Long actually turned up in the thread as a fish? Post #382. You can't get much more relevant than that.

And as for the disagreements, well, this entire thread has been one long crazy but ineffably polite disagreement on so many levels, not least about about where the thread itself was going. Everybody has their own unique take on things and we are all constantly pulling in different directions. But we are illustrating how to take that in good humour and keep things light-hearted, which is what the OP evidently found difficult to achieve. You just have to make posts that people want to respond to in a positive way (yours is an excellent example of that) and we've conspired to present a few hundred examples of this - some more successful than others, admittedly, but with good will all round, things have kept going somehow.

What we haven't done, and I think this is important, is to block or negate each other's ideas because that sort of thing isn't fun. It leads to a downward spiral that sadly happens in so many threads (as you yourself have pointed out). If a post takes a delightfully unexpected turn, we don't stop and argue about it, we run with it and build on it. I think the OP was expecting to see more in the way of head-butting in the forum and was disappointed not to find like-minded head-butters to, well, head-butt with. It's hard to tell, though, just from the single post and it's tempting to read more into it than was perhaps intended. It's a shame he didn't elaborate.

We've had people walk out of this thread (as did the OP) even including some of our own fictional characters and that's a real slap in the face, believe me. We personified people who flounce out of forums as, well, flounce and as flounders (back to the fish, again) because that makes a painful subject easier to talk about without offending anyone.

Jump back in, and steer the thread the way you think it should go. After all, that's what we are doing, and your ideas are just as valid as ours. Just make it funny, if you can. We appreciate "funny" and will respond to it with more enthusiasm

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

 

[BoldItalic]

Terri rose to the occasion. She had been to a gals' boarding school, after all, and that instilled a certain steely resolution with echoes of the mem sahib of the Raj, not to mention an accent that could freeze a peasant at thirty paces. She hadn't been Ceptain of the Second Lacrosse Tim for nothing.

"Right!" she declared. "Here's the plan. Front rank advance and hold fire. Second rank, prepare attack spells and wait for my command. Third rank in reserve. You and you, hold the right flank. That's it, cheps. Bully orf!"

Ballnard, having crept unobtrusively back, now felt extremely foolish. Not only was he having to climb down after his outburst of histrionics, but he was seeing a side of Terri that shook him to the core. She was .. She wasn't .. He just wasn't up to it, he decided. Maybe he should die heroically and be done with it. And yet, and yet, a song rose unbidden to his mind.

What is life to me without thee?
What is left if thou art dead?
Eurydice! Eurydice!

"Oh, shut up!" said Verice irritably.

There was no further time for thought. The mad machine came lumbering with astonishing speed out of total cover, eye-stalks blazing and playing "Ride if the Valkyrie" very loudly through a strange kind of trumpet-like appendage.

"Steady the buffs!" cried Terri, drawing her sword and raising it aloft (but not above shoulder height, of course).

 

[rgoodbb]

“Spiton. I know there is some bard left in you. Countercharm that blooming trumpet, there’s a good chap.”

Ride of the Valkyries
Flight of the Bumblebee
Ride of the Valkyries
Flight of the Bumblebee
Ride of the Bumblebees
Flight of the Valkyries

The two tunes cancelled each other out to the sound of a monotone 1980's test card.

Lo-Mad espied a group of 4 heroes bunched up, took in a deep (and totally unnecessary) breath and spewed forth Cone of Mackerel…..

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Ceptain of the Second Lacrosse Tim

Unintentionally funny?

 

[Craig Fox]

The heroes, while reeking and near bloodied, were relieved it wasn't Cone of Hagfish, or the legendarily dreaded Surstromming Swarm. "Fight on!" rang out Warlady Terri's voice. In all the commotion, no one noticed a small floating skull just outside the perimeter.

Till it spoke, in sepulchral tones that rang out across the battlefield. "Urm, excuse me...". Heads turned. Everyone capable of biological micturition promptly did so.

"Flippin' heck, it's him!"
"It's the real Acererak!"
"It's the original! Not some tired old 3d-printed knockoff!"
"I can see four empty gems! That's four souls he can steal! Aaargghhh!!!"
"Mummy....."

Acererak spoke again, more soothingly. "Don't worry, I'm not joining this little skirmish. I'd just like to have a little fun. The first of you to hold this gem aloft and make a wish will have it granted." A large amethyst, glowing faintly red, spat forth from Acererak's jaws and rolled across the battlefield, landing between Stonnard's feet. Stonnard's eyes narrowed, his feet planted, and he swung his axe menacingly. "Get back! Back, I say!" he shouted.

Ballnard sighed. "Oh, ****!" he cursed. "All he'll do is wish for a lifetime supply of hors d'oeuvres!"
"Which means" said Jezza, trying to draw a bead on Lo-Mad, "he'll get one hors d'oeuvre, and only have time to take a single bite before he's annihilated!"
"Most hors d'oeuvres only need a single bite, but yeah, I'll see what I can do." Expertly playing his role as a clumsy, incompetent combatant, Ballnard stumbled into Stonnard's back, who lurched forward and kicked the gem hard across the ground. Jethro grabbed a cricket bat, swung hard as the gem bounced, and sent it flying.
"Six!" Jethro called out.
"Not if the mad mech catches it." said Verice. Eager to get its own wish, Lo-Mad tried to pincer the gem between two of its limbs, but just missed, the gem bouncing off his claw with a loud clang. Everyone watched the gem as it flew through the air.

"What are you doing?" screamed Verice. "It'll be friggin' Acererak granting your wish if you catch that thing!" No one listened to her. The gem spun, bounced, ricocheted, and came to rest smack in the palm of ... Terri Trainger. Without missing a beat, she held the glowing, pulsing gem aloft."
"I wish" she spoke out loud "to become a real girl..."

 

[rgoodbb]

"I wish" she spoke out loud "to become a real girl..."

Whoa....I'm......not touching that one.....nope....Bold? Danny?

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

*clunk clank boing splat flubble tang klingle bong*

"I KNEW those were fake!!!"