100 Reasons why Dunedain (and men) prefer Elven Maidens

[Rodrigo Istalindir]

55. Soft Elven rope doesn't leave marks when she ties you up.
56. All the money they've inherited from previous human husbands they've outlived.
57. You don't have to take out the garbage; she'll just recycle it all
58. Since she doesn't sleep, she can clean the house while you rest

 

[Angcuru]

C'mon, guys! You aren't doing much to support us human men! Sure them elven chicks are awesome, but why would they want one of us?

The only two non-elven guys who ever got with elven maidens were Beren and Aragorn, and they weren't even human!! (See Numenorian, some more than others) And heck! Beren had to kill a dragon, get his hand bitten off, and steal a Rare-as-hell shiny gem from Sauron's Boss just so she'd even look him!

[utilitarian philosophy]
And what about Aragorn? Are we sure that the whole 'set to inherit dominion over all of mankind' thing (more or less) didn't have anything to do with her attraction to him? What were her options? Option A - Go overseas with the rest of people who you see EVERY DAMNED DAY who have developed incredibly boring personalities due to their living FOREVER, and as such she can only tolerate their presence, rather than liking anybody. Why else do you think she's lived for thousands of years without getting hitched? Option B - Hook up with a really rugged, tough yet sensitive, loving, gorgeous, and set to rule the world once daddy leaves semi-mortal man who can take out practically anything, has connections with the Dwarves (can you say DIAMONDS?), has connections with Hobbits (can you say pipeWEED?), and has more spunk than any skinny elf she'll ever meet back at the treehouse? If she goes with him, she gets to be the Queen, have everything she'll ever need, and once her hubby kicks it, she can go turn off her immortality switch and be with her financial (& sexual?) powerhouse for ever and ever and ever....
[/utilitarian philosophy]


What can the average human give her?

Umm....body hair?...collecting his life insurance?...seeing what arthritis looks like?...thingies?


C'mon men! We know we want them! Why would they want us?

 

[Robbert Raets]

You know, this can have multiple meanings

...Especially if you subscribe to the 'David Eddings' view of 'pappa' Tolkien who doesn't seem to describe girls below the neckline

 

[Robbert Raets]

sure thing, let me get out my whip and teach you a few things about my favorite topic...female dominance and male submission...

Woof! WOOF!!

 

[LurkerFreak]

Out of the Trees...................oh heck when did all this happen, it is getting hard to stay in a tree being fat and lazy and all.

We didnt come out of the trees, we fell. Something about being too lazy to hold on. Of course, a few loonies went to the highest branch and dived head first.

 

[Dark Jezter]

What can the average human give her?

Umm....body hair?...collecting his life insurance?...seeing what arthritis looks like?...thingies?


C'mon men! We know we want them! Why would they want us?

Because human men don't spend all day in the bathroom playing with their hair and admiring themselves in the mirror. Well, most human men anyway.

But for the record, I don't think elf women are all that attractive. Mialee is downright freaky-looking (which is a good thing; I'd rather have alien-looking elves than elves who look like pointy-eared human supermodels).

 

[Gez]

Honestly, Eowyn is much prettier and cutier than Arwen.

59. Elven wives cook delicious pastries.
60. Elven wives can fix your shoes.
61. You won't need to buy toys to your kids, just let your elven wife craft some.

 

[Teflon Billy]

You know, this can have multiple meanings

He knows

 

[Mercule]

Bingo ! That was a hard hit to the male cause ! You traitor !

<pedantry>
Despite stereotyping to the contrary, studies have shown women are more likely than men to "roll over and go to sleep".
</pedantry>

So, Score one for the male cause.

 

[drothgery]

Honestly, Eowyn is much prettier and cutier than Arwen.

I think you mean Miranda Otto is much better looking than Liv Tyler. Some men might disagree, though I'm not one of them. But JRRT fanboys would say that as per the books, we pretty much have to take it on faith that Arwen is better looking than Eowyn.