40 year old man wants to join my game


First Post
I'm 52 and have been playing since 1974. Most of my original players have seen gone onto life in general and don't play anymore and for the last 25 years, I have been playing with groups in which I was the oldest person.

Significantly older now. As in the players are young enough to be my kids. The age gap between myself and the youngest person is 37 years.

Age isn't a issue at all and never came up in any of the my groups (and I been in many over the years); except for a parent of one of the players in one group who had concerns about her son playing a game with a guy three times his age. Once she met me, things were fine.

Odd that age is an issue with you. Having played with hundreds of people, never once has any player mentioned anything about age or how old I was.

I suspect it is because of love for the game. Age doesn't matter nor should it, IMO.

About the weirdo thing - define weirdo. Because I'm a weirdo in my town because I am the old grumpy guy that plays games (not just D&D) with kids and that makes me a weirdo amoung my peer group. I'm the weirdo because I jump out of perfectly good aircraft as a hobby. I am seen by the neighours practicing swordmanship (fencing / kendo) in my backyard on pleasant summer days. I make swords and knives (took a course in blade making which I still occasionally do when I can access the equipment).

By the standards and activities of my age group in my community, that makes me a weirdo with a capital W and in spades. :D

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First Post
I'm 31, and the youngest guy at my table (though not by much); we're all in our 30s or 40s, though for a while we had one 20-ish player.

Keeping a guy out of your game because he creeps you out? No problem with that. But if you're all adults, keeping a someone who seems like a nice, normal guy out of your game because he's old enough to be your dad (or young enough to be your son)? Probably not a good move.

Raven Crowking

First Post
I'm 41. Would you let me play if we were in the same city?

Would you be willing to play in one of my games?

I don't see what the big deal is. I run games for my older daughter (8), my son and his friends (16-19 or so), and for adults (around my age, some younger).



First Post
I'm 33. Recently, I've ran games for 20 year old college students, mostly women. I've also had a 16 year old play in one of my games (the brother of another player). I've played in games where I was the youngest -- the oldest player being about 12 years older than me.

It all depends on the personalities.


First Post
Hmm...gamers must be pretty plentiful where you are for you to be chucking them aside because of their age. Being older than/younger than is quite different from being insane, annoying or eerie, however. I'm not sure which is the determining factor here. If you're gaming at home or someone's home (i.e. parents basement, friend's place), I can understand your reluctance in inviting a stranger who is significantly younger/older than you into that private setting, of course. (Believe me, I've known a few gamers I eventually wished didn't know where I lived.)

Seems to me that age in this issue is just the icing on the creepy cake. If you really think this guy's a nutjob it's probably best to follow your gut instinct and lose his number. Still, it worries me all these veteran gamers and gamers-of-the future being turned away because of the age factor. I can't seem to find many around here...14, 40 or anywhere in between. Maybe we need an online network that helps gamers like these find a home. *heh*

Oh, and I'm 31, if that makes a difference.


I'm still trying to decide if this was a troll post or not. At any rate I understand about not getting into the mindset of someone else. If you're weirded out by the vibes, s'all good.

Thornir Alekeg

Darn kids these days, thinking the game somehow belongs to them, forgetting the sacrifices we made that allow them to play the game today. You know maybe you ought to let someone older into your games. Someone who can teach you how to appreciate the good things you've got. I mean back when I first started playing, dice were made of a single color plastic that were almost impossible to read. You had to slice your finger open and use your own blood to give the numbers some contrast. Oh sure, some people used a crayon, but not a real gamer. Where do you think all those stories about blood sacrifice in D&D originated?

Seriously, as a 38 year old gamer who has been without a group several times over the past few years, I've answered ads looking for players. My only issue with younger players like yourself is that they usually have schedule expectations that, between work, part-time grad school, and family, I cannot meet. I did play for a short while with one group of younger players (early 20s) and didn't notice any problems different from other groups I've played with over the years.


First Post
Nyaricus said:
...but can anyone explain why I keep getting hits from mid 30 to 40 year old guys looking for game? Are people really that desperate?

Yes, we really are that desperate. Everybody in our own age group that we would have normally gamed with have gone on to other things: families, jobs, camping, etc. At least to the point that a regular game isn't important to them anymore as there are too many "real world" things that are more important. Getting a group together is hard and you pretty much take who you can find or don't play IME. Your typical D&D game is pretty G or PG and there's no real difference between younger gamers and older ones if everybody is mature. Plus, when you are in a peer group of a hobby, age matters less because you are bound by the hobby not generational ties. The trick is to make sure everybodies expectations with the game are similar. However, gamers can be a weird bunch, and if the guy freaks you out, then don't game with him, but that goes for everybody not just because he's older.


Thinking about the people I've gamed with over the years, I came up with this list:

Sex: Male, Female
Race: White, Black, (East) Asian, (Indian Subcontinental/South) Asian
Nationality: US, UK, Canadian, Australian, South African, New Zealand, French, Belgian, German, Italian, Czech, Singaporean, Malaysian
Age: 9 to 60+
Sexual orientation: Straight, Gay
Religion: Protestant, Catholic, Jewish, Sikh, Muslim, Pagan, No religion
Class: Unskilled Manual to Professional
Education: Primary to PhD

IME, I can't say that any of those variables predict how good a gamer is. Perhaps my sample size is too small but I would be tempted to conclude that there isn't a relationship. Good gamers cover the spectrum.

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