Emerikol
Legend
To me, this is not something I would do for fun. If I ran a game in this instance it would be me just running a game to help them. It would be very similar to me running a game for a bunch of twelve year olds. I'd have to have some motivation besides "having fun" to do it.The first was a neurodivergent kid who came to D&D camp with his fully loaded Darth Vader mask and I was more than happy to do whatever it took to engage him. The second is an ELL student who just wants to make friends and doesn't have great English. Now he has friends to sit with at lunch.
I have bigger fish to fry than worrying about whether the D&D campaign matches my preconceived notions, especially with beginners. I just want them to engage, start learning, have fun, put their phones down, and hopefully make some buddies.
I think there is setting and plot. I don't bring a plot. I bring a setting with interesting denizens. The players make their story in that setting.In general, I used to come into campaigns with a story I wanted to tell. Now I try to come in with the attitude that I get to facilitate a story we will generate together. If I put aside my own expectations of what the story should be, I can't be disappointed and will likely be entertained.
I prefer it both ways. I likely would have been disappointed in that game. I can barely find a DM that can create a great setting. If the entire group jumps into setting design then what results will almost assuredly be the sort of thing I wouldn't like.Here's an example that @Lanefan will recognize: I was hosting a game of Dread that included him and some members of his VERY long running D&D group. The premise of the game was college rafting trip gone wrong - kind of a Deliverance meets Danger at Dunwater scenario. Anyhow, I asked players to prep a character, and one designed a character who was secretly a vampire.
My first (private) reaction was "well, no, that's not what I had in mind for this story." But then I thought about it...and so what? Just because it wasn't my idea and could take the story in a radically different direction didn't mean it wasn't an awesome idea that could be a ton of fun. The only real issue, aside from my ego, was that a fully powered vampire could obviate a lot of the scenario (super strength, being able to turn into mist, and all that), so I told the player sure, but did she mind finding de-powering her vampire for those reasons, and she was more than happy to oblige.
The game was super fun, the vampire angle added a whole new element to it and a surprise ending that I could never have predicted, and made the game better for everyone. And all I had to do was let someone else be creative.
I firmly believe that everyone should go with what works for them and their group. If you prefer tight narrative control, then bless. I'm not advising anyone to do anything, but I can report back that the more I let go of my own preconceptions about how the story should be, the more fun I've had helping to create it.
I think there are different aspects of gaming that people like. You probably have a set of things you like that affords some of these things better than I do.
For me...
1. I have to believe in the setting. That means I have to at least contemplate that somewhere out there this world could theoretically exist. So any form of joke game I'm generally against.
2. I want to explore and I want lots of things to explore. I want to interact with the setting which includes the NPCs. I want to have in game connections with more than just the PCs.
3. I like some gamism. I want skill to matter. Strategy and tactics, preparation and planning.
4. I want to act as my character. I don't want to make decisions for events inside the game that my character could not have made. We throw around the terms actor, pawn, and author. I'm firmly in the actor camp.
5. I like for the rules to make some sense in the world. A form of mild simulationism. I don't want the rules to be PC exceptions.
That is the kind of games I want to play in as a player and run as a DM.