About Reveille

[Teflon Billy]

'Letting it slide' implies weakness. Forgiveness is strength.

Is War Peace? And is Freedom Slavery? (1984)

You may not see a functional difference, but it is there.

Then could you explain the functional difference, because you are correct...I don't see it.

 

[Jack7]

Then could you explain the functional difference, because (if?) you are correct...I don't see it.

It's not up to me to answer for anyone else, but to me forgiveness shows strength of character when the other person demonstrates two basic principles: repentance, and reform.

They (the offender) are sincerely sorry, they repent (go in the opposite direction), and they reform their behavior so as not to make the same mistake or intentionally do the same wrong again.

If they demonstrate sincerity of repentance and reform, then that shows they are making the effort to learn from their errors and to change their character for the better.

In that case then the onus is upon me to try and demonstrate the patience and forgiveness necessary to allow them to continue to improve their character rather than to perpetually condemn them for their previous errors, or sins, or misdeeds.

But that process is a two way street. The onus is upon me is to forgive the sincere repentant. The onus is upon them to seek to prove that they are indeed sincere by demonstrating a different type or class of behavior.

When both parties meet their obligations then good progress can be made at beneficial and necessary reform.

When neither meets their obligations it is impossible to reform.

If only one meets his or her obligations then it is extremely difficult to reform. Because if the aggrieved party will not forgive the other then it makes it difficult for the offender to ever prove himself worthy, even if he has reformed. No proof will be ever be acknowledged as good enough.

But if the offender only seems to reform or is given forgiveness too easily and without real effort then that only encourages him in his previous misbehavior.

And of course both parties must often allow enough time to pass to test their new condition.

That's my view.
Forgiveness requires obligations on the part of everyone involved.

And demonstrations of sincerity and change.

 

[Lanefan]

I'm not an alt.

Which still leaves ctrl and del as possibilities...

Lan-"someone had to say it"-efan

 

[Sepulchrave II]

Then could you explain the functional difference, because you are correct...I don't see it.

I guess - for me, and I can't speak for anyone else either - 'letting it slide' indicates a certain degree of denial of the offense. Not integrating; repressing; sublimating - whatever.

Forgiveness - for me, again - is consciously embracing/admitting to the pain, allowing it to run its course, shape perception, and then choosing to move on from that point as an act of will.

Forgiveness is very hard, and I'm very bad at it. It takes me a long time.

 

[Rathan]

To be honest all it doesn't matter who he is... was. or ever will be... and the pointing of fingers.... doesn't need to be happening either.. that just ASKING for a fight that doesn't need to happen because of someone so OBVIOUSLY looking for attention... weather he can see it or not.. you're just giving him what he wants.... fame on this site... he's gone.. and can't do this to ANYONE ELSE here and that's my friends is the shining light in this situation.. and hopefully no one will be dim-whitted enough to try this again

 

[CleverNickName]

The more I read on this, the worse I feel. Twenty-five alternate accounts for the same person??! TWENTY-FIVE??!

Is there a way to prevent/deter this in the future? Not that I have any ideas or suggestions...from what I've seen, this place is one of the best-moderated discussion forums around. I am certain that the staff and moderators of ENWorld are doing everything they can to protect the site from predators like this.

I don't want to be made to feel stupid because (a) I make friends, and then (b) trust them to be honest. There has to be a better way than "distrust everyone and everything here."

Thoughts?

 

[merelycompetent]

I don't want to be made to feel stupid because (a) I make friends, and then (b) trust them to be honest. There has to be a better way than "distrust everyone and everything here."

Thoughts?

Trust, but Verify. Take the safer route. Set your own limits - and obey them.

If, on a non-health-related site, someone starts posting health-related issues, check on the accuracy of what they're reporting from the doctors. The internet + Google provides the greatest research library ever available to the human race. In this case, the symptoms and doctor/nurse actions reported did not match well with a real coma symptoms and treatment. If in doubt, assume the person really does need help. For example, I don't want to have to live with myself if I read about someone's depression tonight, NOT report it to the moderators/authorities, and read about their suicide (or worse) on CNN the next morning. This means that I will be fooled on occasion. But it's my personal limit - a standard that I hold myself to.

If someone lies about one part of their life, they're probably lying about other parts also. Life's too short to waste on liars - you spend more energy trying to figure out what the truth is than with living. I'm getting on in mileage (and years, but it's the mileage that counts), so I do not suffer liars at all.

Once again, the ENWorld moderators, and no small number of posters, have impressed me. I hope I get to meet some of you people in person, someday.

 

[Nellisir]

Huh.

Bad form, Rev.

Hope you're OK.

 

[Woas]

That would actually be real great if that happened. It would really give this... "situation" some humor and completely turn it into something, positive-ish.

Perhaps in the future, people will link to this thread and say that someone has been RevRolled.

 

[Umbran]

Thoughts?

I can assure you, the admin and moderating staff will be having some discussions about this, and we'll review our policies and consider viable technological aids to help prevent this sort of thing happening in the future.

We are not, however, going to do that as a knee-jerk reaction. We are not going to take action out of fear or anger or frustration. We're going to take our time about it, and make sure that we are considering consequences carefully.