Eluvan
First Post
Hi everybody. Those of you who know me probably know me as 'that ass who went MIA a few months back and left me in the lurch'. Which is a fair description, I suppose...
I don't really have an excuse for dropping off the map the way I did. A lot was going on in my life, and I was getting progressively more and more stressed out and irritated. I was also trying to take on too much here on these boards. I guess the real problem was my involvement with the IR. I really should have known better than to try to play in that I think, particularly as one of the major powers. Everybody was awesome in that game, so helpful and everything, so that I kept fooling myself I could manage it. And maybe I could have, if I'd taken everybody's advice and not worried about the mechanics. But because of the kind of person I am I felt like I just had to master the mechanical side of the game too, and I tortured myself for waaaay too long worrying about it when I really didn't have the time. In the end the stress just got too great, and I took the coward's way out. I'm not trying to lay blame at anybody else's feet, only to try to explain my actions. I take full responsibility for what I did, and I can only offer my profuse apologies for it. I seriously hate, hate, hate it when people who let down their gaming groups without even the courtesy of notifying them of why, and I feel awful for having been guilty of such a thing myself.
I know that it's going to be hard for people to trust me after that incident, particularly the people I let down, but I am hopeful that slowly I can begin to reinvolve myself with this community. Life is calming down, and I'm missing this place. I hope people can forgive me for betraying their trust the way I did.
That said... I don't know how many of the players of my two old games are still around, or interested, but if there are sufficient numbers of them then I would be very willing to try to move those games along again. I still have all my notes, and would enjoy the opportunity to run those games once more.
I don't really have an excuse for dropping off the map the way I did. A lot was going on in my life, and I was getting progressively more and more stressed out and irritated. I was also trying to take on too much here on these boards. I guess the real problem was my involvement with the IR. I really should have known better than to try to play in that I think, particularly as one of the major powers. Everybody was awesome in that game, so helpful and everything, so that I kept fooling myself I could manage it. And maybe I could have, if I'd taken everybody's advice and not worried about the mechanics. But because of the kind of person I am I felt like I just had to master the mechanical side of the game too, and I tortured myself for waaaay too long worrying about it when I really didn't have the time. In the end the stress just got too great, and I took the coward's way out. I'm not trying to lay blame at anybody else's feet, only to try to explain my actions. I take full responsibility for what I did, and I can only offer my profuse apologies for it. I seriously hate, hate, hate it when people who let down their gaming groups without even the courtesy of notifying them of why, and I feel awful for having been guilty of such a thing myself.
I know that it's going to be hard for people to trust me after that incident, particularly the people I let down, but I am hopeful that slowly I can begin to reinvolve myself with this community. Life is calming down, and I'm missing this place. I hope people can forgive me for betraying their trust the way I did.
That said... I don't know how many of the players of my two old games are still around, or interested, but if there are sufficient numbers of them then I would be very willing to try to move those games along again. I still have all my notes, and would enjoy the opportunity to run those games once more.
