Are DMs the Bad Guy -- Getting Kicked Out of a Group

[Paradoxish]

I don't know.

In the past, as a DM, I've left a group out of frustration, thrown one person out of anger, and had to threaten someone on multiple occasions. I don't think I'm petty or vindictive, though, it just depends on the situation.

I left one of my groups because I felt the players were too immature to get anything done. Sure, the point of an RPG is to have fun, but I start to lose interest when the players start bickering with eachother after a half hour or so. I've also thrown someone out who's personality just didn't mesh with the rest of the group and who was causing constant problems. This particular person was a rules lawyering, munchkin hypocrite who yelled at everyone else about their roleplaying skills, though, so no one was really sad to see him go.

Other than that, there was that time one of my players said "No" to me after his character died and refused to continue playing until I brought his PC and the two other PCs whos deaths he was responsible for back to life. I think I made a thread about that a while back. Anyway, he didn't get kicked out.

Point being, RPGs are games, but they also need some order. If there's someone who's making it impossible to play and enjoy yourself doing so they have to either be warned or tossed out. There's just no point in getting together every week if all you're going to do is bicker at eachother.

 

[jdavis]

Once again, this time with feeling, I'm glad I game with friends. Every person I game with I have known for more than 10 years, we are friends outside of the game, we were friends before we were gaming together. I don't think kicking anyone out was ever a option, these are best friends for decades we just make it work.

We did have a guy show up about a year ago to join the group (friend of a friend) and he lasted about 6 sessions, the high points of his stay were his first character (psionic dwarf twins) yes he wanted to play two characters and we didn't use psionics in the game. That character lasted two sessions until he lost his character sheet. Then he made up a drunken monk (which wasn't a bad character actually) that sold his soul for a magic rope belt. He eventually just stopped showing up, said we roleplayed stuff out too much.

 

[shouit]

As a person that has been kicked out of a group and who has kicked out someone in a group, I figure I would put in my two cents.

I have actually kicked out someone and the very next session been kicked out, for I was the DM. I had just moved to Rochester when I met a group of people that gamed, little did I know what they were about. Well, I had also met a couple of other guys and I was going to DM. I started and really enjoyed the game, but one of the players was annoying the rest of the group and asked me to take care of it. It was a group decision, so I went along and did my civic duty of DM and for the good of the group, asked him to leave. There were many harshed words that were thrown my way, but I believed that I was doing this for the greater good. The next session, they said they were not going to game anymore. But, I found out that they just told me that, so I would quit.

I had found out later, that they are a very klickish group and that they have done it to numerous people in town. I almost want to put an ad warning people not to game with them....

On a positive note, the group I am in currently got to big and I asked one of the guys to leave, because of space. He understood, and also wasn't too upset because he was already in a group on another night. But, when people left, I asked him back, and he has been playing ever since.

 

[Ramien Meltides]

I haven't been "kicked out" of a group, but I am being "left out" of a group. Let me explain... I DM'd a campaign for over a year that went really well, everyone seemed to really enjoy it.

One of my players went on to DM his own campaign set in the same world, with some of the same characters. With one or two exceptions, he selected his players from outside our original gaming group, saying his group was "too large" whenever I expressed interest in joining in.

That campaign is now over, and my former player is thinking of starting up another campaign, this time a Cthulu game. It sounded like a lot of fun so I contacted him requesting to join in if possible.

He tells me that he doesn't like my attitude and refuses to play in any game I'm involved in. I was surprised, this was news to me... the part that's really bugging me is, I don't feel like he's even going to give me a chance. This concerns me because I was the DM for his character for a long time, and it's rough when someone else won't return the favor. This friend of mine has never before DM'd a game where I was a player.

We've been friends off and on for some time now, and I respect his opinions, so I wish him and his game well. I just hope he doesn't dismiss other folks as cavalierly as myself.

As a previous poster noted, group size issues are fine with me... I like smaller groups, myself. So I don't have a problem with someone who says to me "Sorry, my group's the right size (or too large) right now. Maybe later?"

 

[Ramien Meltides]

Here's another fun story for the boards: I call it "Dueling DM's"

I had just moved into the area and I had hooked up with a new gaming group. My first game with this group involved quite a bit of friction with one of the other players... let's call him Mr. X. Mr. X and I shared some interests, and we were discussing another game system while waiting for our turn to come around... he noted he did not like the new edition of this game system, and I started to discuss with him what improvements the new edition had made over the old... Mr. X didn't like that very much, and wanted to start a fight right at the gaming table over it. I did not oblige

Later, other members of the gaming group mentioned they really liked a particular campaign setting, which happened to be my favorite as well. I told them that I had DM'd that campaign setting before and found it a lot of fun. I was told that Mr. X had DM'd the same setting, but that his campaign was "on hold" indefinitely and had been for several months. I asked the group if they'd be interested in playing in my campaign using the setting they liked and the group agreed (absent Mr X). Suddenly I heard rumors that Mr. X was getting his old campaign ready to start up again (surprise, surprise!) and would be bringing his materials on the same night I was to discuss the beginning of my campaign.

I wanted to handle things like an adult, so I went prepared to talk to Mr. X and see if we could run our games on alternate weekends or work out some kind of compromise, because I wouldn't mind being a player in this campaign setting myself. Mr. X brings over a real hand-crossbow, one of those things you get from Soldier of Fortune magazine, and starts shooting bolts into the walls. I mentioned it was probably not a good idea, especially as our host was renting the apartment and would likely have to pay for any damages. This didn't make Mr. X any happier. Mr. X waited for a friend of his to arrive before beginning to discuss his campaign plans. I started to ask him about working something out regarding my plans, and Mr. X got upset... very upset. He started throwing things, and eventually had to be physically restrained (by the host and the friend Mr. X had brought over). Mr. X spent another hour or so insulting the gaming group, demanding that they choose between his campaign or mine, threatening to cut my throat, and lunging across the table at me. Eventually he left swearing never to return, and I haven't seen him since... it's been almost three years now.

Kinda puts things in perspective, doesn't it?

 

[Azure Trance]

Ack. The worst I ever experienced was a little while back when we had to change gaming days. I was talking to the GF of a player on AIM and mistyped a message ... it was supposed to say, for one day (of gaming) because I previously asked if she could do two a week. Instead, I said 'for once' ... all of a sudden her BF comes on, says I'm a f'in jerk, and that he's leaving, bye! *shrug* We always had a subtle tension going on anyway, although he was a good roleplayer. It actually caused the group to break up though, since she couldn't/didn't/wouldn't play w/o him, and it crumbled from there on in. Still groupless ...

 

[WayneLigon]

... He started throwing things, and eventually had to be physically restrained (by the host and the friend Mr. X had brought over). ...Kinda puts things in perspective, doesn't it?

OK, that's a keeper, as they say If things get bad in our group I can always think 'It could be Mr. X'.

That would completely freak me out, I think; time to call the cops.

 

[Mordane76]

Here's another fun story for the boards: I call it "Dueling DM's"

...I started to ask him about working something out regarding my plans, and Mr. X got upset... very upset. He started throwing things, and eventually had to be physically restrained (by the host and the friend Mr. X had brought over). Mr. X spent another hour or so insulting the gaming group, demanding that they choose between his campaign or mine, threatening to cut my throat, and lunging across the table at me. Eventually he left swearing never to return, and I haven't seen him since... it's been almost three years now.

Kinda puts things in perspective, doesn't it?

Okay -- now where do people like this come from?
It just pains me to see that there are gaming groups out there run by complete psychoes or otherwise socially impaired people. I live in a college town, so we have a lot of turn-over, and the people I game with I've known less than three years. Still -- I interview people before I let them in, and tell them up front that I want to meet with them BEFORE they get time and place to show up.


There are some player psychoes out there, too...
In a group I played in, the DM regularly ran GURPS: Traveler, and we had two people that ended up being let go. One of them would talk a great character concept, but then all these characters slowly metamorphed into a character we called "Guy with Gun." He was also a rules-lawyer extraordinare, overbearing during the sessions, and became quickly agitated if rules discussions didn't go his way. At the end of a semester, we changed locations and campaigns, and didn't tell him about it.

Same campaign, same DM -- we had a guy, he lasted two game sessions. The first session, he declared himself the member of a secret crime syndicate, and attempted to assassinate our charge and take over our ship, IIRC. The next session, told us all how inferior we were to him, and demanded that the DM award him XP greater than that we he gave everyone else (which goes against the mode of XP for the game we were in). He got mad when we killed his character gangland style and told him to leave before we did the same to him.

 

[HiLiphNY]

Kickin's

I've never really been shy about it. A prolonged and annoying presence will usually require a swift and direct removal by way of the boot!

 

[Teflon Billy]

I got some advice from an old friend of mne (plays Kronus: The Monarch in my Mutants and Masterminds Story Hour game). It goes as follows....

"I won't game with someone I would refuse to do anything else with"

That is: no "free pass" for being a gamer. If you are a social retard, sorry. If you stink to high heaven, uh-uh. Etc.

I've made tons of freinds through gaming, and I don't mean the classic "Gaming Friends" (which seems to many folks to be a different category of Friend), by following his rule