Are TTRPGs Even a "Good" Hobby?

[Argyle King]

Not going to lie, I'm going through a hobby crisis right now. I'm wondering if I should stick with it.
I'm listing my problem areas, which I seem to face weekly (if not more frequently). Do your brains work like this? If so, how can you continue to enjoy this hobby?

I. Players
Are they engaged? Do you have enough? Where can you find more? Do you have too many? If so, how can you shrink the group? Can you find the right gaming system to accommodate an atypical sized group? Are they causing issues with you or other players (cheating, arguing, inappropriate topics, disruption?) Do you get along okay? Do you consider them friends? Do they connect well with the other players? What about the style of game you're playing? Do they come consistently? How can you make the game better liked by the guy who isn't engaged enough? Is someone spotlight hogging or more effective than other characters?

II. Systems
What genre are you going to play? You're familiar with fantasy, but maybe it's getting tiresome? Are you going to stick with System A because your group is familiar and owns the books? Do you encourage them to try System B - even though you could be wrong? What has the right level of depth? What would be fun? Are the books affordable? Do you really like most parts of System C, but there's some dealbreaker component? How many books have you purchased, anyway? Have you gone over budget? Do you have room on your shelves? Can you even keep them straight anymore?

III. Larger Community
Do other hobbies look down on their participants? Should we care about corporate decisions? What about problematic past content? Should we try to promote diverse creators at our tables? Do people who go fishing or participate in bowling leagues worry about this stuff? Gee, aren't there a lot of people who get really fired up and will yell at you if you don't TTRPG the same way they do? Are other communities better?

IV. Work
How many hours is enough prep? What do I do with wasted prep? Will I ever have free time to do anything besides plan sessions? What's the use in planning, anyway? Are there shortcuts - because running published adventures has proven more difficult than just writing my own? Can you use shortcuts in complex systems? Back to point 2 - if you use a less complex system and the players complain - is it still worth it?

For me, I find that rpgs are a great hobby. It is also one of the very few activities left that encourages interacting with people face-to-face, rather than being glued to a screen.

I. I feel as though most of these concerns can be addressed through communication. What are the GM's expectations from the players for an upcoming game; what experience or gameplay style do the players prefer that the GM provide? How is out-of-game conflict handled by the group? Etc.

II. Communication applies here as well. I would add that, for me personally, one of the systems I play the most is built to accommodate multiple genres. Between various editions of D&D, GURPS, and Edge of the Empire, I feel knowledgeable enough about those systems to teach them to other people if need be. Books do sometimes get pricey, but I don't feel they are overly so and ttrpgs as a hobby still tend toward being cheaper than many other forms of entertainment. Sidenote: a pencil and cheap note cards work just as well as "official" character sheets or whatever else YouTube influencers may be pushing.

III. Yes; not usually but sometimes; take time to sort the good from the bad while remembering that conflict can create adventure; I'm not exactly sure what that means; yes; yes; and it varies.

IV. Prep styles vary. What works best for you? Have you spent time figuring out what you enjoy best and what your usual group enjoys? Even if you don't use a concept, save it because the prep that was not used this session may be the audible you need at some later time.

In the end, the most important question is this: are you having fun?

 

[payn]

You are not your hobby.

1. The RPGs you own end up owning you.
2. It’s only after we’ve lost everything to the dice that we’re free to do anything.
3. You’re not your role as GM. You’re not how much prep you have in the bank. You’re not the dice you roll. You’re not the contents of your dice bag. You’re not your f$%^& gaming T-Shirts. You’re the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.
4. Reject the basic assumptions of civilization—especially the importance of gaming material possessions.
5. F#$%^ off with your editions and expansions. I say never be complete, I say stop being perfect, I say let’s evolve—let the dice fall where they may.
6. The liberator who destroyed my PC has realigned my perceptions.
7. Do you know what a duvet is? It’s a blanket. Just a blanket. Now why do guys like you and me know what a duvet is? Is this essential to our PC's survival, in the hunter-gatherer sense of the word? No. What are we then? We are consumers. We’re the byproducts of a gaming lifestyle obsession.
8. We’re RPG consumers. We are the byproducts of a lifestyle obsession. Murder, crime, poverty—these things don’t concern me. What concerns me are celebrity live plays, youtube with 500 channels, some guy’s name on my GM screen. Rollmaster, year Zero, 2D20…f#$% McDM. McDM’s polishing the brass on the Titanic. It’s all going down, man. So f!@# off with your editions and expansions.
9. Man, I see in RPG the strongest and smartest folks who’ve ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. Goddammit, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables—slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy naughty word we don’t need. We’re the middle children of history, man: No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War’s a spiritual war; our Great Depression is our lives. We’ve all been fooled by influencers to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and live play gods, and RPG stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off
10. Hitting bottom isn’t a weekend retreat. It’s not a goddamn seminar. Stop trying to control everything, and just let go! LET GO!
11. Without pain, without sacrifice, we would have nothing.
12. Only after disaster can we be resurrected
13. This is your life, and it’s ending one minute at a time.

 

[GuardianLurker]

Not going to lie, I'm going through a hobby crisis right now. I'm wondering if I should stick with it.
I'm listing my problem areas, which I seem to face weekly (if not more frequently). Do your brains work like this? If so, how can you continue to enjoy this hobby?

a1) Nope. Not anymore.
a2) I got better. No really, if you're thinking like this - especially WRT to Section 1, break those habits. Get help if you need to. It's not a healthy place to be. Hopefully, it's just a case of GM burnout. In that case, all you'll need to do is be a player for a while.

I. Players
Are they engaged? Do you have enough? Where can you find more? Do you have too many? If so, how can you shrink the group? Can you find the right gaming system to accommodate an atypical sized group? Are they causing issues with you or other players (cheating, arguing, inappropriate topics, disruption?) Do you get along okay? Do you consider them friends? Do they connect well with the other players? What about the style of game you're playing? Do they come consistently? How can you make the game better liked by the guy who isn't engaged enough? Is someone spotlight hogging or more effective than other characters?

b (most of them): If the players and I are having fun (which may or may not include actually playing the game) then all is good. A few less fun sessions are allowed, every now and then; it's only really a problem when it's the norm.

b (all of them): If there issues with any of these preventing fun, fix them. This is the number one category of GM advice, none of these are new (or unusual) problems, so the advice (in multiple flavors) is out there. Find the right advice for you, and apply it.

II. Systems
What genre are you going to play? You're familiar with fantasy, but maybe it's getting tiresome? Are you going to stick with System A because your group is familiar and owns the books? Do you encourage them to try System B - even though you could be wrong? What has the right level of depth? What would be fun? Are the books affordable? Do you really like most parts of System C, but there's some dealbreaker component? How many books have you purchased, anyway? Have you gone over budget? Do you have room on your shelves? Can you even keep them straight anymore?

c) These are generally more amenable to negotiation. Note that some are indicative of GM burnout - if that's where you are, stop GM'ing for a little bit. You don't have to stop playing, just do something else. Also, finding groups can be problematic, and you might have to just hover in the LFG forums (of wherever) AND get lucky.

Keep in mind as well, that for some groups the negotiated answer is "No". For instance, my current group is not one I'd ever want to play Amber Diceless with. Or V:tM. And most narrative games would be a bad fit for them as well. But that's OK, they and I have been having a good time in our PF2e campaign, and in the 5e campagin before that.

III. Larger Community
Do other hobbies look down on their participants? Should we care about corporate decisions? What about problematic past content? Should we try to promote diverse creators at our tables? Do people who go fishing or participate in bowling leagues worry about this stuff? Gee, aren't there a lot of people who get really fired up and will yell at you if you don't TTRPG the same way they do? Are other communities better?

d1) Yes.
d2) No, at least not beyond the "we've stopped making the game". At least, not as hobbyists. As professionals in the same space, the answer might be different.
d3) Don't engage in chrono-snobbery. Also, problematic content is only a problem if you use it in YOUR game. So if you think its going to be a problem, don't use it.
d4) [No trolls please]
d5) No. I suppose the fishing pros might care about rod composition and line tensions, and standardizing them. And, of course, poseurs pose. But your typical hobbyist fisherman? No.
d6) No, not really. It's just that the ones that do are REALLY, REALLY, LOUD. And unfortunately, often drown out the more moderate/polite/reasonable people. Did I mention that the rare offenders are LOUD?
d7) Many yes. Some no. Video game forums, for instance, are notorious for suffering many of the same issues. And then, there's always /b/-chan.

IV. Work
How many hours is enough prep? What do I do with wasted prep? Will I ever have free time to do anything besides plan sessions? What's the use in planning, anyway? Are there shortcuts - because running published adventures has proven more difficult than just writing my own? Can you use shortcuts in complex systems? Back to point 2 - if you use a less complex system and the players complain - is it still worth it?

e) These are ALL definitely GM burnout issues. And yes, there may exist shortcuts - both Sly Flourish/TheLazyGM and The Alexandrian have good advice on these issues. Like all advice, YMMV. Frankly, this is the second largest category for GM advice. I've given two sources, but there are many, many, more out there. A lot of the YouTube RPG channels will address these, often only on occassion, but just as frequently as their main subject matter.

f) If this was intended to be a general conversation starter, I think you're in the wrong forums. All of these issues have been addressed many, many, times. To the point that I suspect that some people could generate a response like Stack Overflow: "Your question is too general, or has been answered before. This THREAD may have already answered your questsions."

 

[MichaelSomething]

You gotta know when to hold'em
Know when to fold'em
And know when to walk away

My interpretation of the OP's posting history is that it's walking away time.

 

[schneeland]

I really jumped into online play during the pandemic. While I do enjoy them, they are still missing a little bit of the spontaneity and fun I remember from in-person games. When I'm able to run one-shots in person, that feeling is often there. It is rare to experience in my single regular in-person game, however.

I do agree that there's a special energy when you play at the table with the right group. But, a bit similar to your case (though a lot less extreme), I no longer had that on a regular basis with my old in-person group before the pandemic. And if I wanted to play a new system, I had to introduce it to the group and handle most of the rules.
In contrast, not only do I get to play more systems I am interested in playing, I also get to play more regularly and I am actually a player most of the time. This is a very refreshing experience that has brought back a lot of enthusiasm for role-playing for me. Also, the same spirit I remember from playing in-person became more frequent over time in my online groups.
In the end: if online playing isn't really for you, that that's just the way you are wired and perfectly fine. But it does seem your current situation is less than ideal and is eating up your enthusiasm for RPGs in general. So I feel you need a bigger change or you will completely burn out on RPGs.

 

[TheSword]

Rather than answering what the game should be, I'd answer your questions with a question...

... Why do you play the game? What do you actually want to get out of it?

 

[Retreater]

Rather than answering what the game should be, I'd answer your questions with a question...

... Why do you play the game? What do you actually want to get out of it?

A fun time with friends. The ability to be creative in making a world and NPCs. Crafting stories together we'll remember for years. Thrills, laughs.
I just don't get it often. I'm working too hard to be able to have a good time. Everyone else but me gets to have fun.

 

[TwoSix]

A fun time with friends. The ability to be creative in making a world and NPCs. Crafting stories together we'll remember for years. Thrills, laughs.
I just don't get it often. I'm working too hard to be able to have a good time. Everyone else but me gets to have fun.

Then I would pick a story and a setting and a system you're passionate about, one that excites you, and tell everyone else "This is what I'm running. Get on board or get out of the way."

If you don't have a group if you do that, then you've answered the question on "Is this a good hobby for you?"

 

[Deset Gled]

Not going to lie, I'm going through a hobby crisis right now. I'm wondering if I should stick with it.

I'm being completely serious when I say that I think you have spent more time in the past month complaining about the state of TTRPGs in your life than I've spent playing them. When that happens, the only advice I can give is to take a break.

People will probably have a lot of good answers to the other questions you ask, but at this point it looks more like spiraling than solutions.

Good luck. You're not alone.

 

[BookTenTiger]

Retreater, I've read and participated in similar threads by you, and I wanted to share my own experiences over the last few years.

Before the Pandemic, I was playing in a long 5e game that started off great, but soon got very very railroady. All my good friends were very dedicated to this game, so if I wanted to play with them I had to play in this game. So I started thinking of the game as 75% social hangout time, 25% D&D. And if I got a little frustrated, I'd take a week or two off. It really helped!

During the Pandemic, the 5e game continued online, but I also started my own online game with some other friends. I kept both games going through the pandemic, and neither had the same energy as an in person game but it gave a wonderful structure to that strange unstructured time.

Towards the end of the Pandemic my wife and I had a kid, and I cut out all gaming since I just didn't have time or energy for it. We moved cross-country and I thought I would pretty easily find a new game in our new city.

The problem was that I was busy with a new baby and a new job. I did a few online Ironsworn games with my friends from back home, which was great because it requires 0 prep time. The Ironsworn game started at once a month, but due to scheduling dropped to every other month... and then every three months... and finally I just stopped scheduling it.

Over the last year I taught some coworkers to play D&D, and they really enjoyed it! We even made our own campaign world and played through a little dungeon. But scheduling that came became too much trouble, too!

In truth, I haven't played a TTRPG in about four months, and I don't think I'll be playing one for a while.

And you know what? I'm okay with that. I don't really have the energy to teach and manage other people right now. I love playing D&D, I love hanging out with friends and being creative. But I'm going to wait until I actually have the time, energy, and space to do so.

In the meantime I'm focusing on other hobbies that require less energy to get into, like gardening, baking, and writing. I'm biking with some friends from work.

Retreater, from all your recent posts it feels like you are playing TTRPGs out of a sense of obligation and nostalgia, but it's not giving you any pleasure. So stop. Take a break. You will find that the people in your life who want to keep playing will find ways to do so. And when you feel ready, you can play again.