Are TTRPGs Even a "Good" Hobby?

[GrimCo]

Not going to lie, I'm going through a hobby crisis right now. I'm wondering if I should stick with it.
I'm listing my problem areas, which I seem to face weekly (if not more frequently). Do your brains work like this? If so, how can you continue to enjoy this hobby?

No, when it comes to hobbies my brain works in binary fashion. If fun then do, else don't.

I. Players
Are they engaged? Do you have enough? Where can you find more? Do you have too many? If so, how can you shrink the group? Can you find the right gaming system to accommodate an atypical sized group? Are they causing issues with you or other players (cheating, arguing, inappropriate topics, disruption?) Do you get along okay? Do you consider them friends? Do they connect well with the other players? What about the style of game you're playing? Do they come consistently? How can you make the game better liked by the guy who isn't engaged enough? Is someone spotlight hogging or more effective than other characters?

I play with very close friends. Before we start new campaign, we sit down, drink some beer and talk about campaign. It sets tone, style and expectations on both side. If/when someone isn't having fun, he speaks up about whatever makes game not fun. No hard feelings, we are all grown adults, we can handle some constructive criticism. It goes both ways, from dm to players and vice versa. If that means that campaign ends, so be it. Open and honest communication is key.

II. Systems
What genre are you going to play? You're familiar with fantasy, but maybe it's getting tiresome? Are you going to stick with System A because your group is familiar and owns the books? Do you encourage them to try System B - even though you could be wrong? What has the right level of depth? What would be fun? Are the books affordable? Do you really like most parts of System C, but there's some dealbreaker component? How many books have you purchased, anyway? Have you gone over budget? Do you have room on your shelves? Can you even keep them straight anymore?

We play 5e D&D. Not cause it's best, but cause for all of us, it's our second favourite. Now and again, we do try out something new, but D&D is constant. It just does what we need it to do. As always, when picking anything new, main criteria is - does it look fun.

III. Larger Community
Do other hobbies look down on their participants? Should we care about corporate decisions? What about problematic past content? Should we try to promote diverse creators at our tables? Do people who go fishing or participate in bowling leagues worry about this stuff? Gee, aren't there a lot of people who get really fired up and will yell at you if you don't TTRPG the same way they do? Are other communities better?

Nor I, nor my group, care about larger community. Unless someone invested money in stocks, corporate decisions are dead last. What is or isn't problematic content is up to individual. What we don't like, we don't use. My other hobby is IPSC (got hooked on it while in the army). Never registered on any forum or reddit about it. Same with combat sports (i've been in martial arts and combat sports almost 30 years). I do my thing, enjoy it, hang out and talk to people i like and go home. Key to any social hobby is to find like minded people you like, ignore rest, do your own thing and just enjoy it.

IV. Work
How many hours is enough prep? What do I do with wasted prep? Will I ever have free time to do anything besides plan sessions? What's the use in planning, anyway? Are there shortcuts - because running published adventures has proven more difficult than just writing my own? Can you use shortcuts in complex systems? Back to point 2 - if you use a less complex system and the players complain - is it still worth it?

My last one shot was 20 minutes of prep. Random dungeon generator, pregen characters, simple plot. Same with other DMs high level 2 session mini game. Some cold booze, some meat & veggies for the grill, nice sunny day. Spent nice fun day playing d&d and hanging out with boys. We have 2 DMs that rotate and I jump in as DM from time to time. If we play complex system, everyone is expected to know the rules and mechanics of their characters. If someone complains that system is to simple, cool, we ditch it (happend to me, i ran Cairn, one player said it was to basic, not gonna run it any more). No matter how simple or complex system is, it is expected of everyone to pull their weight.

TTRPGs are wonderful hobby. If you have good group of likeminded people and you all are having fun. Once it's stops being fun and starts to feel like work, time to take a break. Or walk away. We play to relax. Do decompress. Spend time with people we like. Take mind of everyday life.

I took some brakes. When our HS group broke up, i haven't played in over a year. When life happened (dm got kid and started working full time, friend was finishing his project for master thesis, i went to officers school and got to my first command post) we played few sessions in a 18 month period. When life settled in routine, we started playing regularly again. When pandemic struck, tried online, wasn't for us, took another brake for about 9 months. It happens. When i wasn't playing, i spent that time on other hobbies or interests.

 

[Ruin Explorer]

Do other hobbies look down on their participants? Should we care about corporate decisions? What about problematic past content? Should we try to promote diverse creators at our tables? Do people who go fishing or participate in bowling leagues worry about this stuff? Gee, aren't there a lot of people who get really fired up and will yell at you if you don't TTRPG the same way they do? Are other communities better?

Just to pick up on these points:

A) Yes virtually all hobbies look down on their participants. You seem to be in a "the grass is greener" scenario, but I can assure you that videogames, boardgames, wargames, miniatures, hiking, most forms of boating, cycling, and pretty much every hobby I've ever come across ABSOLUTELY 100% has a community which "looks down on their participants". It is genuinely silly to think you will find one that doesn't.

B) Do you think cyclists don't get in fights about what the companies involved in cycling are doing? Because I can assure you that they do. The same for virtually all hobbies. Problematic past content is less of an issue for most hobbies, but it's much worse for some (like, I dunno, tabletop wargames, particularly Warhammer), but this seems like a "you" problem, not a problem with RPGs anyway.

C) "They're not playing like I am" - yeah again pretty much all hobbies have a ton of people who are mad if you're not doing it the same way as them. Depending on the hobby that may manifest as being screamed at for building your bike "wrong" or being frowned at for running your RPG "wrong", but once you're involved in the community, it will happen.

So no, other communities are not better in the way you want them to be.

Just as a little bonus hate from me, I'd like to call out gardening for having one of the worst and most unpleasant communities of all hobbies, it's a sphere populated by intentionally gnomic jerks who point-blank refuse to give honest or straightforward advice, and who seemingly actively seek to confound people new to gardening, especially those who they don't think are "serious" enough. And what's particularly galling is that the people doing this very obvious gatekeeping and exclusionary behaviour do it in a way that they clearly think isn't obvious and think is entirely "above board" (it ain't). On more positive note I have found some YouTube channels which don't engage in this gnomic twattery, but it is absolutely the standard, par-for-the-course approach to talking about gardening, and it's very gate-keep-y and crummy.

 

[DarkCrisis]

It’s kept me happy for about 25+ years now so yeah. It’s the one thing I get out of the house for away from my issues and problems and can unwind in my own nerdy world. It’s my one real opportunity a week to socialize.

I hate when sessions get cancelled, so thank goodness for video games.

 

[HaroldTheHobbit]

I don't separate stuff into hobby or not, neither do I choose "hobbies" like I do the color of my pants. If it's fun, I can afford it and have the time, then I do it. If it's not fun, I stop doing it.

Roleplaying games is something I've done on and off since my early teens. It's not like I suddenly can switch off my urge to roll dice and play pretend, and replace it with collecting china dolls or something.

 

[billd91]

To the main question - are TTRPGs a good hobby - my answer is: Yes, of course they are!
But are they the right hobby for everyone, at every time in in their lives? No, of course not.

If you're not enjoying the hobby anymore, for any reason, it's time to step back from it - either the hobby as a whole or how you're participating in it. Try something different for a while.

 

[John Dallman]

Do your brains work like this?

Mostly not. I'm well aware that the cosmic significance of the games I play and run is limited. I've had some wonderful experiences along the way, but they don't affect anyone except me and the other players.

I. Players
Are they engaged? Do you have enough? Where can you find more? Do you have too many? If so, how can you shrink the group? Can you find the right gaming system to accommodate an atypical sized group? Are they causing issues with you or other players (cheating, arguing, inappropriate topics, disruption?) Do you get along okay? Do you consider them friends? Do they connect well with the other players? What about the style of game you're playing? Do they come consistently? How can you make the game better liked by the guy who isn't engaged enough? Is someone spotlight hogging or more effective than other characters?

If they keep turning up and are not vociferously complaining, things are going reasonably well. "Enough" and "Too many" players are very fuzzy concepts: I'm happy with groups of 3 to 6 players, and those can withstand one person missing. If I don't have enough, I look for another, and ask the players for suggestions.

We definitely take new players on probation, in case we don't get along, although I've never had to tell someone "don't come back."

Don't get too worried about spotlight hogging. If the subject of a session is especially relevant to a particular character, then of course they'll do more talking. Good players will step back deliberately when it's someone else's session.

II. Systems
What genre are you going to play? You're familiar with fantasy, but maybe it's getting tiresome? Are you going to stick with System A because your group is familiar and owns the books? Do you encourage them to try System B - even though you could be wrong? What has the right level of depth? What would be fun? Are the books affordable? Do you really like most parts of System C, but there's some dealbreaker component? How many books have you purchased, anyway? Have you gone over budget? Do you have room on your shelves? Can you even keep them straight anymore?

Play what you want to, and can agree on with the others. If a system or genre is becoming tiresome, are you using it effectively? Don't be afraid to try plot lines or locations that aren't at the centre of what the game is about: similarity of sessions is deadly.

III. Larger Community
Do other hobbies look down on their participants? Should we care about corporate decisions? What about problematic past content? Should we try to promote diverse creators at our tables? Do people who go fishing or participate in bowling leagues worry about this stuff? Gee, aren't there a lot of people who get really fired up and will yell at you if you don't TTRPG the same way they do? Are other communities better?

Are you playing RPGs for fun, or because they're fashionable, or to "build a personal brand"? I only play them for fun, and don't worry about what other people think.

I do enjoy occasionally surprising people who have condescending opinions about "geek hobbies" with tales of occult dramaturgy in Elizabethan England, or characters who write operas based on The Silmarillion.

IV. Work
How many hours is enough prep? What do I do with wasted prep? Will I ever have free time to do anything besides plan sessions? What's the use in planning, anyway? Are there shortcuts - because running published adventures has proven more difficult than just writing my own? Can you use shortcuts in complex systems? Back to point 2 - if you use a less complex system and the players complain - is it still worth it?

Enough prep is "You know what's going on, who's involved apart from the PCs, and what the environment is like. You have some idea what the response might be to the obvious things the PCs might do." That can involve no work at all, or a great deal. The longer you run a setting, the less work is involved, most of the time - occasionally, you need more.

 

[Umbran]

Do your brains work like this?

The seething pit of anxiety exists in us all. Most of us just focus on general existential dread, rather than our RPG hobbies.

I mean, really, dude? Just play. Perfection will be denied you, as it is denied to all the rest of us. So, concentrate on having a good time in the moment, rather than all the what-ifs and OMG-whatdoIdos....

 

[timbannock]

Life is tough and it's short, so do what brings you joy.

Learning to be more firm about various aspects, not playing certain games even if it means playing with different players or self-exclusion of people you like, playing in less-than-ideal venues (loud stores or looking at a VTT on your monitor for an eye-bleeding 4 hour session)...all of that stuff can be worth it, but just like with many other things in life, a lot of times if you're already thinking "is this even worth it?" then the answer is "no, at least not right now." You can always circle back to it. You can always say "no." You can always just do something else for a bit.

As a forever DM, and someone who often feels "forced" to run the D&D 5E when I'd much rather run just about anything else, I find myself on the cusp of dropping things a lot. And I did drop all gaming for months, even years at a time. It was worth it. It'll be worth it again; I just gotta wrap up about a dozen more game sessions and then I'll never run 5E again. And it will be glorious. But notably, I'm having just enough fun now that it's still perfectly worth it. But like you, I had to answer some tough questions to make sure that was the case.

 

[hawkeyefan]

@Retreater

Just a short list of suggestions based on this thread and the other recent threads you’ve started.

- Yes… take a break for a bit. It doesn’t have to be super long or even a set time. Just let your group know you can’t run for a few weeks. Then see how you feel without the game.

- If you feel better, then extend the break. If your group asks about the game, explain how you feel. I think you need to be honest with your group about how the game is making you feel and how much work it has become for you. Keep the break going as long as you feel like it… don’t let anyone pressure you into going back before you’re ready.

- If you find yourself missing the game, then end the break and start it again. Maybe start off slower… like every other week instead of every week, something like that. See how it goes before diving all the way back in. Also, I’d suggest making some new ground rules to help things out. Whatever you think hurts your enjoyment of the game, let folks know and ask them to follow the rules. So something like “no surfing the met on your phone during the game” and similar things would be acceptable.

- I’d strongly recommend finding a game that requires less prep than what you’re running now. If you need recommendations, there are plenty of options, just say so and you’ll get suggestions.

- I’d also recommend you play with a new group. Either before resuming your game or concurrently, but preferably before. Maybe just a short game of a few sessions. See how the game goes with some new people. Maybe it’ll remind you what’s great about games. Maybe you’ll love gaming with this new group. Worst case, you’ll have another group to kind of compare yours to… it’ll help give you some perspective.

So yeah, I’d say to take a break and maybe try a new game with some mew people before going back to playing with your current group. Ultimately, it doesn’t seem like your current situation is sustainable… you’ve got to change something.

 

[MNblockhead]

I can see a bit of myself in the OP. What helps me a lot is simply being too busy. Work, family, a recent move. I just don't have the time. I can only run one Saturday game once per month. I engage on and off with the hobby by participating in discussions on EN World and doing some reading and prep for my campaign, but I'm only running a campaign because I have to make the time for one day a month. And if it becomes too much work. If it isn't fun, then I'm just not going to be able to continue.

Something about my game always hanging on this thin wire is kinda freeing. Ultimately, if I just have to stop, the world isn't going to end. I would just focus on other things, be a player in the occasional online one shot. Something else would fill up the time.

I don't know you but perhaps you've become too invested. I know for me that it is the only way I stay involved with certain friend who I no longer live near. If I stopped running the game, I'd likely only get together with them for board games a few times a year when I visit my home town. But I'm juggling so much right now that I'm just not willing, or even able, to put the burden of "keeping the group together" on my shoulders.

I had to take a break for several months during my move. I think that break, though not planned, was a good thing. I was reinvigorated to start a new campaign in a new system. If you are unable to let go of a lot of the anxiety and pressure, it is probably time to take a break from being the GM or from the hobby itself for a while.