Well, I have read through all the posts here too and have the following observations:
1) The player was definitely out of line - there is no place for a player to be abusive toward a DM like he did. It also appears that the player has a history of being somewhat of a problem. Clearly, he needs to be warned or just thrown out of the group alltogether.
2) The players did seem to have history of cheesing the rules for donning armor, ie. wearing armor in unrealistic situations. So, I can see trying to force them to deal with the aspect of the rules - i.e. There is no time to put armor on. - deal with it. I think fusangite even said he put the players on notice.
3) The players - especially the heavy armor wearers - should have expected a night attack - from Vampires!! - and should have planned accordingly.
However, ....
4) I think the timetable you laid out is just flat unrealistic. There is no way all of those things could have happened in such a short span. To get past the Duke's servants in 2 rounds (12 seconds)? It probabaly takes that long to open the door. And I don't care what privileged the PC had, a servant is going to need an explanation - probably at least 30 seconds - then the Duke is going to need to get aclimated and get an explanation - another 30 secs, etc. etc. The specific actions aren't important - the entire sequence you laid out would take a lot longer than the time you alloted for it. Non-combat time should not be marked off round by round like combat time.
5) Since you planned this epic battle for 10 hours, one would presume that you wanted to see the battle with the entire party. Therefore, I think you could have played a more pro-active role to change the situation, by a) telling the PCs flat out - "There is no time to put on heavy armor. If you don't come IMMEDIATELY all will be lossed." or b) Adapting, and penalizing the PCs by making the battle harder - since they didn't come immediately - but letting the battle go forward anyway. Since you delayed, the vampires have re-grouped, etc etc.
6) In short, the players were wrong, but I think you could have adopted better on to save the situation -for everyone's benefit.
Daren