(A conversation between a DM and two NPC's: Jake Armageddon, a half-orc fighter/assassin, and Jake's brother Alphonse, a cleric/assassin.)
DM: Guys, I'm glad you could come. I want your opinion on a particular subject.
Jake: Go ahead, boss. Whatcha wanna talk about?
DM: Um... bards.
(The two valiant half-orcs immediately run into the nearest corner, cowering and whimpering.)
Alphonse: Ach, sss, it hurts uss. It hurts usss, nasssty DM.
DM: Don't worry, I'm not going to bring one here right now. I just wanted to talk about them.
(Jake and Alphonse apprehensively combe back from the corner.)
Jake: Boss, bards are just plain mean! Me and Alphie will probably be in the runnin' for guildmaster pretty soon now, but these bard guys could lick the tar out of both of us.
DM: Which ones are worse, the old-type bards or the newer-type ones?
Jake: Well, I'll tell ya, I'd rather run into a division of Sherman tanks than one of the old ones, and the newer ones are just as bad 'cept nowadays there sure are less of 'em, 'cause it takes them so long to become one.
Alphonse: Ach, sss, nasssty bardsses.
DM: Jake, where did you learn about Sherman tanks?
This was pretty much my impression of 1e bards as well. And then they were hit by the nerf bat in 2e, hard. They became pretty much irrelevant. I never saw anyone play one, and back then I played a lot of D&D with a lot of different groups.
And then they got prettified in 3e. They were an ok class, but I think pretty much everyone agreed that they were underpowered. They got a nice boost in 3.5 but they just didn't have the flavour I hungered for that was born of my first impression of bards from Celtic tales and 1e uberness.
4e, Allah praise thee, has made bards kickass again. I was really hanging out for PHB2 because the sampling of the bard I'd seen in the character builder was awesome and I wanted more. I wanted to see this class get a rejuvenation spell cast on it so that it could once again shine.
Man, did it ever get that boost! I love that I can play a melee bard and have him use awesome party affecting powers. His Charisma is now a force on the battlefield where I can play a take-charge, in your face, battle leader, hardened by his mercenary life-style and having been forced out of his homeland by an invading army.
No sweet melodies here and prancing ponies, no, his songs are dirges that drive you on into the maw of terror, his poems are inspirational speeches that speak to the heart of all warriors who bleed for their home and country, and his music is the respite the few left standing can lose themselves in, as they tend their wounds and prepare for the next onslaught.
Bards rule again.
P.S. Yes, I know I previously posted something similar to this, but dammit, that was pre-PHB2, and bards deserve the praise!
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