Bearded Female Dwarves: The Latest Word

[Col_Pladoh]

Enlightened Readers!

Please note the following passage quoted from Terry Pratchett's novel, The Fifth Elephant, page 35 of the Harper Torch paperback, 2000:

"Cheery had retained her beard and round iron helmet, of course. It was one thing to declare you were female, but quite unthinkable to declare you weren't a dwarf."

I assert that this settles the contraversy once and for all time. All female dwarves have beards, and removing them by any means, shaving or magic, means the perpitrator has renounced dwarven heritage and in turn is an outcast from dwarvenkind.

Sincerely,
Gary

 

[diaglo]

you tell, Col.

diaglo "my female dwarves have always had beards" Ooi

 

[der_kluge]

No offense, but when did Pratchett become the authority on this topic?

I guess now that I think about it, I'm not sure this has ever really come up in any game I've ever been in. I guess some have had beards, and in others they haven't. It's certainly not something I've dwealt on...

 

[Mark]

An old friend of mine from college has been claiming this about his so-called diminuative girlfriend for years, and he'll be happy for the support, but it still doesn't explain away the "short sword"...

 

[Col_Pladoh]

No offense, but when did Pratchett become the authority on this topic?

I guess now that I think about it, I'm not sure this has ever really come up in any game I've ever been in. I guess some have had beards, and in others they haven't. It's certainly not something I've dwealt on...

No offense taken, sir!

As a matter of fact, it is I who am the authority, and I cited the Good Mr. Pratchett's work only to demonstrate that that most successful fantasy author recognized the absolute necessity of a female dwarf being hirsute. Some benighted persons lacking understanding of this fact have doubted my assertion, had the timerity to question it publicly.

I have posted this thread in hopes of settling the matter once and for all time.

Ernestly,
Gary

 

[Wystan]

You go Gary, un-hirsute dwarves are called Gnomes and are laughed at and epilady'd by the rest of the clan.

 

[Templetroll]

Enlightened Readers!

Please note the following passage quoted from Terry Pratchett's novel, The Fifth Elephant, page 35 of the Harper Torch paperback, 2000:

"Cheery had retained her beard and round iron helmet, of course. It was one thing to declare you were female, but quite unthinkable to declare you weren't a dwarf."

I assert that this settles the contraversy once and for all time. All female dwarves have beards, and removing them by any means, shaving or magic, means the perpitrator has renounced dwarven heritage and in turn is an outcast from dwarvenkind.

Sincerely,
Gary

Ooh, I just started a Greyhawk campaign for my wife and daughter. I'll have to have an encounter with dwarves and make sure they meet a bearded dwarven female! It'll be interesting to see how they react.

I played a dwarf wizard who was cast out because of the magic use and then refused to acknowledge that he was a dwarf, but he kept his beard!

 

[Cthulhu's Librarian]

Well, I guess between Gary and Terry's statements regarding this matter, there can be no more debate. Case closed!

 

[Col_Pladoh]

You go Gary, un-hirsute dwarves are called Gnomes and are laughed at and epilady'd by the rest of the clan.

Thank you kindly for your heartfelt support.

Seriously yours,
Gary

 

[Wulf Ratbane]

Tsk, tsk, Gary. Such a bald-faced ploy. Plucking a single quote in support of an argument?