Bearded Female Dwarves: The Latest Word

[Col_Pladoh]

No on can dispute the word of Pratchett supported by the final decision of Gary.

Just so!

Beamingly yours,
Gary

 

[Col_Pladoh]

You've made short work of that topic.

Yes...

That's the nub of it.

Truthfully yours,
Gary

 

[Col_Pladoh]

I remember that in the first campaign I played in my sister insisted that her female dwarven cleric had a beard. When after she ended up inside a gelatinous cube and here beard was mostly destroyed she bought a beard wig to wear. That here beard was a wig was her deep dark secret, and she would get very angry whenever any of the other party members would hint at it to the npcs, or make fun of her for it.

Aaah, the memories.

All I can say is that your sister is most perspicatious!

Please give her my best regards and condolences to her unfortunate dwarven character forced to wear a false beard to hide her shame.

Heartily,
Gary

 

[Col_Pladoh]

...
Dwarves having much higher testosterone rates than humans, it should not be a surprise dwarven women suffer from beardhood more often than human women...

suffer you say!

Nay, no female dwarf feels so, as they all take pride in their fine facial hair1

Assertively,
Gary

 

[The Grumpy Celt]

But do they braid their beards and tie them up into ponytails with cute little pink ribbons?

 

[Col_Pladoh]

Dwarves need Beards, it is dang cold in them there halls.

Simply put...

A point well taken.

Happily yours,
Gary

 

[Henry]

Pah.

Everyone knows Dwarves have no female gender, and in fact have no gender at all, but reproduce by asexual budding. We in our human prejudiced tendencies have laid the male gender upon their species through our preconceptions.

Anyone who can gladly produce physical proof (not paintings or some such Bigfoot-ish tomfoolery) that Female Dwarves exist, and I'll gladly retract my statement.

 

[Col_Pladoh]

Out of curiousity, where did the notion of female dwarves without beards come from? I started playing D&D with the Basic boxed set and 1st Edition and, by god, female dwarves had beards! The first I had heard of dwarves without beards was in the Darksun setting, but that was males and females and they were bald too, so no biggy.

Why the shift? Is this another one of those Tanari/Baatezuemon/Devil things?

As to the herasy of beardlessness, I am at loss as to the author of the canard, but it has befuddled many an otherwise clear mind.

With regard to the baldness of the dwarves you cite, i suggest that they tore out their own hair because of the heinousness of the author of the work presenting them as being beardless.

Sadly,
Gary

 

[Col_Pladoh]

But do they braid their beards and tie them up into ponytails with cute little pink ribbons?

Now I fear you you are discussing dwarven women of easy virtue...

Blushingly,
Gary

 

[Col_Pladoh]

Pah.

Everyone knows Dwarves have no female gender, and in fact have no gender at all, but reproduce by asexual budding. We in our human prejudiced tendencies have laid the male gender upon their species through our preconceptions.

Anyone who can gladly produce physical proof (not paintings or some such Bigfoot-ish tomfoolery) that Female Dwarves exist, and I'll gladly retract my statement.

Henry, My Good Fellow,

Surely you now jest, but this is a most serious matter. To bring enlightment to those who have unwittingly disgraced dwarvenkind by suggesting female dwarves are beardless is a duty that mist not be shirked!

Urgently,
Gary