Bearded Female Dwarves: The Latest Word

[Col_Pladoh]

Brush aside my criticism if you like. I won't split hairs with you, nor tease you further on the matter.

I also prefer my dwarven women as paragons of hyperpilous pulchritude.

Well then...

I shall not bristle at your earlier missive, although I was within a whisker of doing just that, and it took sheer willpower to cut off a dis-tressful reply that would have been both cutting and insulting in the mane.

Pointedly,
Gary

 

[Col_Pladoh]

Platypi are mammals, yet they lay eggs like a bird would. A spider is an invertebrate sectioned creature, yet is not an insect. Dwarves should not be gauged on limited human standards. They are of the earth, they shall remain of the earth no matter what biological lies are laid at their doorstep.



Continue as you wish, but you only obscure the truth further.

Pfui!

We are all aware that dwarves are mammalian humanoids, so neither marsupials not arachnids bear upon the bald-faced lie that female dwarves are bald faced1

Irately yours,
Gary

 

[jonesy]

Whenever this topic comes forth, I feel compelled to employ the Elmorian Dwarven Princess. Whoop!

 

[Col_Pladoh]

Now if we could only clear up whether kobolds are canine or reptilian...

That is easy!

Kobolds are forest and subterranean-dwelling mammalian humanoids similar in stature to gnomes. Although they have a greenish complexion and keen senses, they resemble neither canines nor reptiles.

Cheers,
Gary

 

[Col_Pladoh]

Whenever this topic comes forth, I feel compelled to employ the Elmorian Dwarven Princess. Whoop!

Sheer Balderdash!

The illustration you seemingly rely upon for authority is no more than an exercise in crass commercialism of human female sex appeal. Any observer trained in dwarven anatomy would note the subject is far too tall, with shoulders far too narrow, and overall a form lacking bulk and muscle for hewing rock. The most glaring discrepancy is that the subject has a waist!

Smugly,
Gary

 

[Wulf Ratbane]

Well then...

I shall not bristle at your earlier missive, although I was within a whisker of doing just that, and it took sheer willpower to cut off a dis-tressful reply that would have been both cutting and insulting in the mane.

Pointedly,
Gary

Ahhhhh.... It's like sinking into a warm bath.

Thanks, Gary.


Wulf

 

[devilish]

But do they braid their beards and tie them up into ponytails with cute little pink ribbons?

Now I can't get this image out of my mind:
Two teenage dwarven girls, sitting facing each other, braiding each other's beards:

"So, then, Vickie Clangenstern said 'As if!' and I was like 'Uh huh!' and she was, like. acting so shale! ..."

Valley dwarves?

 

[jonesy]

Kobolds are forest and subterranean-dwelling mammalian humanoids similar in stature to gnomes. Although they have a greenish complexion and keen senses, they resemble neither canines nor reptiles.

Unless of course you happen to be on Krynn where kobolds are descendants of Bakali lizardfolk.

- Respectfully yours, a friendly neighbourhood sidetracker.

 

[JimAde]

Now I can't get this image out of my mind:
Two teenage dwarven girls, sitting facing each other, braiding each other's beards:

"So, then, Vickie Clangenstern said 'As if!' and I was like 'Uh huh!' and she was, like. acting so shale! ..."

Valley dwarves?

Thanks. Now I can't either.

You're a bad bad person...Oh I see by your custom title that you know that already. never mind.

 

[Templetroll]

Now if we could only clear up whether kobolds are canine or reptilian...

Reptilia Canidae?