Best Vicious Mockery insults?

trentonjoe

Explorer
Our's are usually raced based.....

"You hit like a goblin" to an ogre or "You look skinny" to a dwarf

One pretty Catholic guy once mocked a cleric with "Your Holy Days of Obligation, don't even have any gift exchanges!" I am almost positive he passed his save.
 

Oofta

Title? I don't need no stinkin' title.
A bard in a previous campaign used a Shakespearean insult generator. Or just look up the top insults from The Bard. :D
 

lowkey13

I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that.
I've never understood the appeal of the spell vicious mockery.

I mean, it seems like an autosave to me?

The bard casts it, and then the target responds, "I may have disadvantage next attack roll, but you will always be a bard."
 

jasper

Rotten DM
You post things to get your post count high!
You call that art? I seen better work on the fridge.
Drizzit is a DM's Pet
 

Oofta

Title? I don't need no stinkin' title.
I've never understood the appeal of the spell vicious mockery.

I mean, it seems like an autosave to me?

The bard casts it, and then the target responds, "I may have disadvantage next attack roll, but you will always be a bard."
"That may be true, but you will always be a gnome loving paladin wannabe!"

Too far? :uhoh:
 

doctorbadwolf

Heretic of The Seventh Circle
I've never understood the appeal of the spell vicious mockery.

I mean, it seems like an autosave to me?

The bard casts it, and then the target responds, "I may have disadvantage next attack roll, but you will always be a bard."
Bards, too!?

Why do you hate so much that is good!?

but seriously, anyone mocking bards for being bards played too much 3/.5 or something, bc they are a very strong and fun class in this edition and the last.

5e bards need more Bardic spells tho
 

bedir than

Adventurer
A group of Troglodytes were fighting the PCs. Two of the Trogs fled and the caster said "If you didn't stink so much your friends would have stayed around." Max damage roll to already injured Trog. Trog is dead.
 

doctorbadwolf

Heretic of The Seventh Circle
My favorite VM use wasn’t even an insult.

My wife has a Star Pact (variant homebrew based on 4e Star Pact) Hexblade, who once whispered to an enemy, “hey, let me tell you a secret...” and proceeded to communicate some small portion of the dark mysteries which Caiphon had revealed to her.

RPing the enemy reaction to blowing his save and taking almost max damage was fun.
 

Draegn

Explorer
Something from our table:

"You're rather pathetic. Perhaps you should crawl back inside your mother's womb and start life over."
 

AichHilton

Villager
Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?

Are you always so stupid or is today a special occasion?

Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?

Hey, you have something on your chin... no no, the 3rd one down.

I've seen people like you before, but last time I had to pay admission!

I love what you've done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of your nostrils like that?

The best part of you is still running down your moms leg.

You have delusions of adequacy.

Are your parents siblings?

Do you ever wonder what your life would be like if you had had enough oxygen at birth?

You are so ugly if they laid you on the beach, not even the tide would take you.

I would tell you to go f*** yourself but I’m sure you’d be disappointed.

I certainly hope you are sterile.

You have such a striking face. Tell me, how many times were you struck?

By the Gods, look at you! Was anyone else hurt in the accident?

Cannibals would pick you last.

If unenthusiastic hand job had a face, it would be yours.

I found your last job resume, you misspelled cult leader.

Did your mother do your hair for you?

Did you fall from the heavens? Cause your face is f***ed up!




 

Advertisement

Top