You hit it right there. Personal expectations are where it al breaks down. Your expectations and biases are the issue, not the game's. Others don't have an issue with it yet you do.
Have you ever considered that it might be a matter of thresholds and a continuum rather than absolutes?
WotC wants to produce the best game they can for the most people they can and in 4E they created a really great game. However, numerous peoples' biases kept them from understanding or enjoying the game that was created. Numerous other people saw it for the great game it was and embraced it.
I stopped playing D&D during 3.x. 4E got me back into playing D&D (I was playing other RPGs at the time). I ran 4E atleast once a week (sometimes more) since the quick start rules in Keep on the Shadowfell came out until a couple months ago when I handed my game over to a friend to DM.
4E is indeed a fun game. It creates a certain style of game. I got tired of that and wanted to play something more like most other RPGs (including most other editions of D&D).
Then WotC announced D&D Next and explicitly stated that the game would appeal to players of all editions.
Guess what? The players of all editions don't all like 4E's emphasis on game play and self referencing mechanics that are disconnected from the fiction to the same degree. If they did, WotC would have no reason to publish anything other than more 4E.
People who expected basically a cleaned-up re-hash of 3.5E didn't get what they anticipated. Some people got over it, some didn't, hence the "edition wars".
And during that time I ardently defended 4E as a fun game that produced good results of a very focused and particular kind. 4E's designers decided what the game was about and wrote rules to make playing it produce play that matched up with what it was about.
But trying to blame a fantasy game for a "lack of realism" is really a lame excuse. The reason for liking or not liking a game is a person's bias, period.
Can we replace "bias" with "tastes" or "preferences"?
We can't have a meaningful discussion about this as long as you are writing off anyone who dislikes your pet edition as
biased.
It's also worth noting, that you totally missed the point of the posts pointing out that something in the fantasy genre needs to have a solid amount of realism or plausibility because it both strengthens the fantastic through contrast and prevents the breaking of suspension of disbelief.