D&D 5E Can You Milk A Conjured Cow?

[embee]

This question came up this week. My general ruling was "yes, by rules, the conjured cow can be milked. Milking isn't a hostile action, doesn't break concentration, and won't drop it to 0hp.

Now, the cow is, by rules, a fey creature in that it is a fey spirit that has taken the form of a beast (a cow). So that is another consideration. Also, it isn't food/drink that is being offered. It is being taken without invitation.

A) Do you think that a conjured cow could be milked?
B) If so, what would the effect of consuming fey food (in this case, milk) while in the Material Plane?

 

[Deset Gled]

"Come here, Ms. Cow, and let me milk you. And no pooping!"

Can you command things not to poop? Asking for a wizard mom I know.

 

[embee]

For most species this would be the case. For better or worse, there haven't been cows in nature for a few hundred years. And even if the wild ones were around, it's questionable if they would be considered the same species. I guess another question for the DM is "how specific can you be with the breed?"

If I was a mischievous DM, and I can be, I'd entertain all sorts of inane questions like that. Just to let the player think he was getting one by me. Want a Golden Gurnsey? Sure. A Holstein? Have at it. Cows are 1/4 CR. Want 8 cows, each of a different breed, to do a taste test? Have at it.

But I could definitely see having there be unforeseen consequences.

 

[Shiroiken]

True of real cows. But a fae spirit taking the form of a cow? I could see it getting its jollies from producing milk when you squeeze its udders.

Happy cows give better "milk!"

 

[Umbran]

The part I don't have an answer for is: can you specify that the animal you conjure is female?

In (American) English, "cow" implies female, as does heifer. Bull implies male. A steer is a castrated bull. If you don't want to specify, in (American) English, you refer to "a head of cattle" - there is no single-word for such in modern English. In older English, "ox" could be gender-nonspecific, but today typically refers to a steer.

 

[fba827]

(1) using star trek holodeck rules as I understand them, you could milk it but when trying to drink/consume it , you’d get the taste but then not actual nutrients or digestion of it as it’d go by that point

(2) if you did allow it just be prepared that it might also mean a conjured man could make a woman pregnant ( because, you know, the stork

(3) if I did allow the cow to be milked and the milk sustained, it’s definitely have to be lactose-free milk that resulted.

 

[MarkB]

If fey cows could produce milk, fairies wouldn't be so obsessed with it.

Maybe they just never made the connection.

"You mean that's where it comes from? And you do that to get it? Eurgh, mortals are just so kinky."

 

[UngainlyTitan]

Again, it has no choice. They obey any verbal command given by the caster.

"Come here, Ms. Cow, and let me milk you. And no pooping!"

Only if they think to think of the order

 

[jasper]

This question came up this week. My general ruling was "yes, by rules, the conjured cow can be milked. Milking isn't a hostile action, doesn't break concentration, and won't drop it to 0hp.

Now, the cow is, by rules, a fey creature in that it is a fey spirit that has taken the form of a beast (a cow). So that is another consideration. Also, it isn't food/drink that is being offered. It is being taken without invitation.

A) Do you think that a conjured cow could be milked?
B) If so, what would the effect of consuming fey food (in this case, milk) while in the Material Plane?

Now we know why Chicago Burn. Betsy the Cow was a ticked off fey.

 

[Malmuria]

Is this a veiled criticism of WOTC's business practices?

 

[J.Quondam]

Now we know why Chicago Burn. Betsy the Cow was a ticked off fey.

Ha! Just a day or two ago, I jotted in my notes:

Domain of Dread idea: an eternally burning city. ​

Darklord: Mrs. O'Leary's cow.​