D&D 5E Can You Milk A Conjured Cow?

[embee]

This question came up this week. My general ruling was "yes, by rules, the conjured cow can be milked. Milking isn't a hostile action, doesn't break concentration, and won't drop it to 0hp.

Now, the cow is, by rules, a fey creature in that it is a fey spirit that has taken the form of a beast (a cow). So that is another consideration. Also, it isn't food/drink that is being offered. It is being taken without invitation.

A) Do you think that a conjured cow could be milked?
B) If so, what would the effect of consuming fey food (in this case, milk) while in the Material Plane?

 

[TaranTheWanderer]

Pull the udder one. I am not amoosed
Sorry. Someone had to milk it.

I think using conjured components would cow any foe

 

[niklinna]

This question came up this week. My general ruling was "yes, by rules, the conjured cow can be milked. Milking isn't a hostile action, doesn't break concentration, and won't drop it to 0hp.

Now, the cow is, by rules, a fey creature in that it is a fey spirit that has taken the form of a beast (a cow). So that is another consideration. Also, it isn't food/drink that is being offered. It is being taken without invitation.

A) Do you think that a conjured cow could be milked?
B) If so, what would the effect of consuming fey food (in this case, milk) while in the Material Plane?

A) You can certainly yank on her udders—assuming you get a female cow. Whether milk will come out is another matter entirely! Maybe make a ruling on % chance you get a female that's lactating.
B) Oh, something minor like sprouting horn buds, or developing a taste for munching on grass, or an urge to become a parent.

 

[Stormonu]

Considering you couldn't carve it up for hamburgers or steak, I'd not allow it to be milked, or at best, for the milk to vanish when the cow does.

If you allow it to remain or be done, it does create some interesting problems - could you churn the milk into butter or cheese? Could you use it for spell components? What happens when someone/something consumes it - especially if they had been starving? If you can take milk from it, what else could acquire - fur, horns, hooves? Could someone cut off the tail and make ox-tail soup without harming the rest of the cow? Etc.

 

[Umbran]

True of real cows. But a fae spirit taking the form of a cow? I could see it getting its jollies from producing milk when you squeeze its udders.

By that logic, though... don't expect what you get to be exactly milk, either.

 

[embee]

Here's the thing...

The cow isn't necessarily a fey cow. At least not BEFORE it is conjured. It's a fey spirit.

It could be an actual creature of the feywild drawn into the prime material plane OR it could be the spirit of a very old tree given a body of temporary flesh, or it could be just vague 'spirits of the forest.' It gets the beast form through the Conjure Animals spell.

Here, it is a cow. Now using it for meat would necessarily require reducing it to 0 hp. So doing that immediately dispels it. No meat. But milking it causes no injury. So you have an hour to milk and consume said milk.

But I think that limiting the milk to the nourishment effects is, well, too limiting. Remember, it's a fey spirit and it has been pulled onto the Material Plane, possibly against its will, and it is Friendly towards the PC, but even that may be against its will. So...

Why not use this as a hook?

What if the milk winds up pulling anyone who drinks it into the Feywild? Or makes the drinker somehow beholden to the fey spirit - like complete this task or be cursed?

The more I think of this, the more fun I think it could be.

 

[aco175]

Surprised this was not done already.

 

[Umbran]

The more I think of this, the more fun I think it could be.

In a game I ran long, long ago, the PCs found a magical bed of coals dedicated to an evil god. One of the PCs, as a test, decided to toast some iron rations over that fire. He was warned not to by party members, but he decided to then consume said rations, again, as a test.

Which led to an immortal saying, "Do not eat the evil beef jerky!"

Trusting magical foods is... a questionable endeavor. And there's certainly a precedent for "don't eat food given to you by the fae folk".

 

[Vaalingrade]

Unexpected milking is absolutely a hostile action.

Especially if we go with the 'fey spirit' deal and it isn't normally a cow.

 

[embee]

Surprised this was not done already.

View attachment 144461

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Indeed. Saturday's session involved that exchange for a goodly 10 minutes. Hearty laughs were shared all around.

 

[embee]

Unexpected milking is absolutely a hostile action.

Especially if we go with the 'fey spirit' deal and it isn't normally a cow.

You can issue it commands. Like "Let me milk you, Ms. Cow."