It's not uncommon for a spouse to text someone at the table, but generally only for semi-important matters (i.e. "I'm going out with a friend and won't be home when you get back." or "[Child A] just projectile vomited all over your comic collection."). The definition of what rises to "semi-important" is subjective, but it has never been disruptive.
While I generally still use a small white-board for passing notes (which my players have actually requested, though YMMV), I've also texted things a few times. Generally, I prefer if any notes that are passed are obvious, whether physical or digital. Players knowing there's a side conversation or restricted information has been part of almost every group I've played with over the last 30+ years and I feel it sets the mood for scheming and/or well-connected characters much better than anything else, I have heartburn over the player being underhanded. Thus, the physical notes are my preference.
Finally, about once every third or fourth session, my group seems determined to come up with some sort of Rube Goldberg plot to deal with a threat. I don't know why, and it seems to be as often applied to something that should be a single die roll (or no roll) as to toppling a BBEG. They enjoy it, and even me telling them "guys, the door is really unlocked" doesn't seem to dissuade them, so I ride along. I've discovered that listening in on the conversations always ends up with me thinking they were committed to some detail that they aren't. So... I tend to check EN World on my laptop (sitting there for combat management), play a short game on my phone, or something else light while they plan. If they have a question, I'm all theirs. Otherwise, they need to walk me through what they're really doing, once they decide.
