Culture Shock

[Rel]

Second I am using the word Intellectual to mean someone who is intellegent but not pratical (studies like Art, Literature, and Phylosophy enrich the soul more than the pocket). I am sure that the south has it's share of people like that, but they do not seem to be the majority anywhere (including New England). If you want to feel insulted that I believe that Massachusetts may have more impratical people than South Carolina that is your prerogative.

MW, I don't think Shemeska meant any harm by his comment. I think I read the word "intellectual" in the same manner he did at first but I understand better now that you've explained it.

I don't know if this will be helpful to your brother or not but it occurs to me that most of the differences between north and south can be attributed to one thing: Space.

I've travelled through the New England area only a little but it always strikes me how close everything is and how concentrated the population is. This is a huge influence on attitudes and culture.

The south has pretty much all the same stuff as they do up there but it's spread over a much bigger area, just like the population. So I've heard a lot of comments from northerners saying, "I've got to drive an HOUR and a HALF to get to the Art Museum?!" It's the same with a lot of stuff like that and it's hard to wrap your brain around at first.

The other thing is how people always talk about "southern hospitality". I think this is largely a product of people living in small communities where they know all thier neighbors and the population is far less transient than in the north where there are more people to get to know and they move around (especially in places with big apartment buildings). If everybody knows your name then you're accountable and since you know their then they are too. When southerners encounter northerners they are often more guarded than the folks they're used to dealing with and they interpret this as rudeness.

Another product of southern lifestyle and geography is that, with more isolated communities, people had to learn more self reliance. Fixing things that were broken or making things from scratch were more necessary when it was a long way into "town" to have such things done by a professional. As such, people tended to focus on the practical rather than the theoretical. With more people moving into larger cities and away from farm life this attitude is shifting but it is deeply entrenched and often criticized which puts folks on the defensive.

Anyway, I hope that perhaps some of that might help your brother sort out the "why" of some of the attitudes and personalities he encounters. I find that that can be a big step toward getting along better with people.

 

[Dark Jezter]

My advice would be "Don't act like you're alien." Or maybe, "Focus on what you have in common with people rather than your differences. And damn sure don't come in with the attitude that your differences make you superior."

As a 7th generation North Carolinian who lives in an area that has a very large population of folks who have moved down from the north, I've observed the "damn yankee" phenomenon a great deal. The hostility and alienation frequently stems from the fact that northerners move to the area with this notion that everybody here are a bunch of quaint, Mayberry hicks who are stupid, backward and unenlightened.

I can't recall how many times I've seen people new in town say things like, "It's absurd that I can't find a decent bagel shop near my house! And don't people know how bad all that fried chicken and barbecue is for them?! And what the hell is with those nasty collard greens?! How stupid is it that I can't buy beer before 1:00 PM on Sunday? And what kind of idiots vote for Jesse Helms anyway?!" Then they wonder why nobody is inviting them over to watch the Pats play the Panthers on Super Bowl Sunday. :\

If your brother thinks that him being a New England, vegetarian, agnostic, liberal intellectual makes him better than the people of Myrtle Beach then he's probably going to have a rough time there. If he doesn't view those who don't share his personal background and philosophy as inferior then he'll probably settle in and be accepted eventually. It just takes time.

Personally I'm not from New England. I'm not vegetarian. I'm not agnostic. I'm not liberal. And although I like to think deep thoughts on occasion, I'm not sure I'd describe myself as an intellectual. But if he's a nice, fun, friendly guy who enjoys gaming, he'd be welcome at my table. In fact, make sure he knows about the NC Game Days. It's not that long a drive from Myrtle Beach to Raleigh. He might even be able to carpool with Henry.

Heh! Good (actually, maybe it's not-so-good) to see that sort of thing happens elsewhere in the country as well. I've lived in Utah my whole life, and out here we frequently get Californians who arrive with the attitude that everybody in my state is a religious zealot or stupid hick.

I think this can probably be traced back to movies and television. For years, it's been common practice for the media to portray the New Englanders and West Coasters as intelligent and worldly, while the South, the Midwest, and the West are portrayed being full of simple country bumpkins.

 

[Shemeska]

Personally, I don't like them. It's mostly the gritty texture that puts me off.

But I DO understand them for what they are: A vehicle and excuse for consuming a lot of really yummy pepper vinegar.

I prefer green beans (boiled to within an inch of thier life in copious ammounts of bacon) for that purpose.

Honestly I can't stand collards, or mustard greens. Never gotten a taste for them.

However, green beans boiled to within an inch of their life, as you said, but with southern ham instead of bacon. And southern ham is only good if it's salty enough to make my relatives from up north make wierd faces the first time they try it.

 

[reveal]

Personally, I don't like them. It's mostly the gritty texture that puts me off.

But I DO understand them for what they are: A vehicle and excuse for consuming a lot of really yummy pepper vinegar.

Also great on turnip greens.

 

[BOZ]

i've tried greens. my wife loves 'em, i do not. i do, however, like black eyed peas and cornbread.

 

[reveal]

i've tried greens. my wife loves 'em, i do not. i do, however, like black eyed peas and cornbread.

Mmmmmm.

Also great is fresh cornbread, crumbled up in a glass with milk poured over it.

 

[Rel]

i've tried greens. my wife loves 'em, i do not. i do, however, like black eyed peas and cornbread.

Blackeyed peas are another great delicacy to slather in pepper vinegar. I'm fond of it on steamed broccoli too.

I meant to bring some bottles of my home-made pepper vinegar with me to GenCon to give out to a few folks. If I make it this year, I'll be sure not to forget them.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

He seem to be having some trouble settling in.

He needs to eat a steak (in public), go to a church, stop reading (in public) and turn down his rhetoric!

Seriously?

There are people just like him in the area- he just needs to look around. Find some of the same kinds of places that he used to hang out in up North, and hang out!

 

[Dark Jezter]

MW, I don't think Shemeska meant any harm by his comment. I think I read the word "intellectual" in the same manner he did at first but I understand better now that you've explained it.

I prefer Dwight D. Eisenhower's definition... "An intellectual is a man who takes more words than necessary to tell more than he knows."

 

[Warrior Poet]

Experienced the reverse some years ago: left West Texas to go to college in Maine. It can be hard to adjust to a new setting no matter where you're from, and where you're going. Same thing happened when I lived in Scotland for a year. It's been my experience that folks are friendly but guarded just about everywhere, until you get to know them, and then they (the ones you know) tend to be more welcoming. I think that's typical, whether New England, New York (seems like kinda its own entity), the South, the West, the Midwest, wherever.

It's been my experience that, in the South, it helps to be neighborly. It's o.k. to give a cordial smile to someone on the street, make eye contact, wave to a neighbor, say hello to the clerk at the store and chat a bit even if you don't know them ("Hi, how are you today?" "Fine, yourself?" "Good. It's been nice to have the cooler weather lately." "Indeed it has, and thanks for stopping in."), stop by a friend's house just to stay hello and enjoy a glass of iced tea (I prefer mine unsweetened and it's perfectly acceptable to request something other than the diabetes-inducer that is "sweet tea"), tip your hat to someone, hold open a door, give directions to someone who asks, etc. You're not becoming best friends with everyone, it's just being neighborly.

Rel's observation about space is right on. When I drove to college, I wanted to put Texas behind me the first day, as that was the single longest leg of the journey I was to make, and after that the drives wouldn't seem quite so strenuous. So I drove across the whole state that first day: 14 hours. By the time I got to Maine, I got a kick out of people answering my questions as to driving times with quips such as, "It's a long way to Portland from here. Two-and-a-half hours."

He should have no trouble eating. He might have to cook more for himself, and that's not a bad thing, because many restaurants still use animal fat for cooking, even if it's for vegetables. But there's plenty of vegetables and non-meats enjoyed in the south: greens, beans, squash, okra, corn, peas, carrots, potatoes, tomatoes, mushrooms, peaches, apricots, cherries, apples, oranges, lemons, limes, cornbread, and more. I'm getting hungry just thinking about it.

Warrior Poet