D&D has threatened my job!

[Sparky]

I would also add that the tone of the slip, while well-intentioned, seems a bit defensive and soap-boxy. Consider that some of the parents who see these slips may not know of any controversy - so there's no need to defend anything. Simply, and unemotionally, state what you provide (creative social environment that promotes collaborative storytelling and quick, creative problem solving), what environment it is provided in (a drug, tobacco and alcohol free one) and that the most important thing that you want is for the parents of minors to feel comfortable with their children's activities. Offer your number for further contact. Offer to let them see the gaming space. Offer to let them sit in on a session.

There isn't any reason for a concerned parent to believe any of the claims you make about the merits of RPGs.

If I were trying to reassure parents I wouldn't mention these things (even in contrast): Suicide... Poker... Urban Legends (tantamount to calling them dupes)... an even indirect mention of the other things kids can do to get into trouble.

Parents have a legitimate stake in questioning their children's hobbies and the tone of some of the latter sentences is close to calling them dumb for not identifying RPGs as a safe and healthy. Or could be taken as such by an uninitiated, uninformed or simply concerned parent.

Be unemotional.

As many have said, you're not defending yourself or D&D, but offering to open the mysterious game up to parents so that they can choose, based on their own judgement, if it is something they think their children should participate in. Don't tell them how safe and healthy and cool and un-suicidifying and doctorate-making D&D is - of course you would say that 'luring' Dungeon Master that you are (facetious). It is unlikely they will believe you. It think the first offer to let them sit in a session is the best one.

The RPGA is unlikely to register as anything important, noteworthy or reassuring to folks who do not know the hobby or take a dim view of the hobby.

There's so much positive in D&D. Focus on that - collaborative, creative and analytical storytelling in a safe, drug-free social setting.

But, really, you would be best off to not have minors in your group. Especially if you refuse to have your sessions in any place except this Poker room (another thing I would skip mentioning. Call it a Game Room, Rec Room... all better and less... seedy).

I also agree that the Rules of Conduct should stay... the language, demeanor, no-illicit-substances... etc. And that the GAME RULES should go. They're confusing and I think potentially freaky to non-gamers. I would also say 'please' on the latter Rules of the House... Please make eye contact and don't mumble. Please leave the bathroom neat and wash your hands before returning to the table. Please just seems... polite. I mean, maybe older teenage boys respond better to being told what to do, but I can see parents liking a more formal code of conduct. I also don't really want to think too much about men and toilet seats. Ick.

This is all over the place, I hope that you take it in the constructive way that I mean it and apologize if any of it comes across as harsh or overly critical. Good luck to you and best wishes for your GMing.

(Note: I am not a parent.)

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

I have personally known 2 pedophiles in Boardgame/RPG hobby groups since I was a college age young adult to my current life as an attorney.

Sharing that experience (plus some additional exposure due to on the job experience) is a buddy of mine who is currently a high-level psychiatric care professional.

NEITHER of us figured out these guys were sickos until they got caught.

Many pedophiles, like any other predator, are very good at not being detected by their prey, as well as those whose job it is to detect them.

Some, however, do tip their hands- hanging out at playgrounds, in the children's book section of the local library or bookstore, etc., and a lot of municipalities give classes to make people like teachers and librarians more aware of the subtle cues and tells that may be present in a pedophile's behavior.

 

[Razz0putin]

some things to consider. Although these people are directly or indirectly causing you a lot of trouble they do mean well. Often people have one of two types of arguments logical and emotional. Logical is usually just missing some peice of information to make everything work. Emotional comes from some place entirely different and if it starts there it must be met with a proper emotional response. All of the facts in the world will not make a bit of differnce if they don't trust the source of those facts.

just my thoughts

although I'd really, REALLY lose the minors

 

[Saqhara]

One of the drawbacks to communicating via text only is that some of a person's intent can be misconstrued and therefore having meaning that it was not intended to have. Perhaps it is better for the general public to not know what behaviour would be deemed as 'tipping their hand' in order to catch predators. However I do take umbrage at potentially being thought of as pervert for doing research on just how many books about orphaned black kittens (my own) finding a home there are in the marketplace. If I would have penned a novel on the subtle nuances of limburger what would those in the know be thinking of me then?

Heck, I once spent three hours standing on a corner waiting for my girlfriend to pick me up (in my own car mind you) but did that mean I was selling 'something'?

Perhaps it's my revulsion at the thought of someone (not necessarily on this board mind you) thinking I was/am a one of the lowest forms of human life really bothers me. Before I broke my back I was working on some d20 projects and I researched the market then too. What warning flags did I raise then? I just felt really... eeew... to be thought of like that for just looking at books.

But then all RPG players are deviants anyway right?

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

My post about tips was just to put someone else's post in perspective. That person claimed to have spotted a couple of pedophiles in the library, and someone else basically asked if they had a special ability to spot pedophiles...

One thing I have learned in my time on this planet is that we have very little control over what people think of us.

I'm a 5'7" 230# black guy. I have a reversible silk vest done by the Austin artist Cosette. It is white on one side, and bubblegum pink on the other. Each side is covered by a fabric painting technique called marbelizing. Its fairly electric.

I wore it in one place, and everyone thought I was gay.

I wore it in another place, and was mistaken for a legbreaker come to work someone over.

Overall, its better that the public knows the potential warning signs of a pedophile...AS LONG AS they don't start any vigilantism/mob garbage.

I'm sorry that you may have been ID'd as a potential pedophile, but as long as you aren't, you shouldn't have too many problems.

As for a potential profile mixup, its not like you're black (gangster), hispanic (illegal alien), or anybody from the Middle East (terrorist)...or are you?

Don't get me wrong- I'm not anti-profiling. I'm anti-MINDLESS profiling. Profiling is a useful tool, but it loses its usefulness if used like an on/off switch for law-enforcement officials' brains.

 

[Saqhara]

Actually, I was never ID'd (that sounds bad in and of itself) as a potential threat, it is just the thought of someone thinking I was being nefarious as opposed to blissfully ignorant. In the future I think I'll just sign out any children's books should I pursue that avenue again.

While I'm on the subject of blissful ignorance I once remarked to a friend how I thought I might pick up one of those funky holographic full spectrum rainbow decal thingies for my car as I thought the one on my his car looked rather cool. My friend nearly died laughing and then explained to me through sobs and tears of humour at my expense that said decals are symbols of gay pride, at which point I joined him in laughing at myself.

As far as appearances go, while I was serving in the army I routinely had very short which was sometimes mistaken by people as a sign of me being a white supremacist which I did not find the least bit amusing at all.

I know we've sort of gotten of topic here that few posts but here I am having a hard time wrapping my head around that fact that for doing something that I never would have thought twice about, or even considered for a moment as being potentially alarming, I could have been seriously (or maliciously for that matter) considered a threat. I can only imagine what a teacher would feel like in a similar circumstance especially with his professional reputation on the line... Right now I'm pretty glad that I work in IT. Even the merest rumours could be damning I am beginning to think. Very scary.

 

[Bagpuss]

This is so true. As a public librarian, I've seen pedophiles hanging around the kiddie section of the library on more than one occasion. And that's a public place.

Just out of interest how do you tell the difference between a pedophile, a parent looking for a book suitable for his kid, an adult with a low reading age, or a children's author doing research?

 

[Buttercup]

How did you know they were pedophiles, were they holding signs? I am not making light of this at all but your statement seems to be as judgemental as the parent who complained to d20 fool's principal.

Because they were on the sex offender list.

 

[Bagpuss]

Because they were on the sex offender list.

Then arn't they violating the terms of their release?

But basically what you are saying is Saqhara shouldn't worry you wouldn't assume he's a pedophile, just because he happened to be an adult (without a child) in the children's book section.

 

[Buttercup]

Just out of interest how do you tell the difference between a pedophile, a parent looking for a book suitable for his kid, an adult with a low reading age, or a children's author doing research?

See my response above. Then too, do you typically go up to children you don't know and offer them candy if they'll go in the men's bathroom with you?