D&D has threatened my job!

[d20Dwarf]

But look at it from the kids' point of view. When I was in high school, I always got along better witht the teachers and adults than the other kids I went to school with. It wouldn't surprise me if there were other kids in the same situation.

Yes, but teachers shouldn't have students over to *their* house alone, it's simply not a good policy. I liked my teachers, would hang in their rooms after school sometimes, and did a lot of extracurriculars just because I liked the sponsors. But *anytime* we had an out-of-school function, it was always held at one of the students' houses, not the teacher's. That's one alternative solution for the original poster is to try to play at the house of one of the players. That would be much better, especially if the student's parents were going to be home during game time.

 

[Hunter Simon]

Recruit at least ONE girl into the game, if not more. A girl at the table changes EVERYTHING in many parent's eyes, I think.

PARENT: He's a pervert! He plays with boys!
CHILD: There's a GIRL there, too!
PARENT: Oh. Pick you up t 6:30.

Yep, that's solid advice. Ask teenage *girls* over to your house, and no one will be bothered.

 

[Carpe DM]

Bad situation.

Don't game with the kids. Tell them why. You can't afford to have your job and your reputation threatened over something like this. Your principal won't back you up -- he as much as told you so. So you have to make the hard, practical decision. Kick all the kids out of the campaign, period, and tell them whose fault it is.

Carpe

 

[RSKennan]

All things being neutral, I'd probably have a *big* propblem with my son gaming with a much older person as a minor. Unless I knew the person like a brother/sister, I'd have to wonder why they wanted to play with a kid. no matter what they said, it would still be in the back of my mind, and I'd dissallow my son from taking part without me or another adult I seriously trusted. I don't see any other way to be a good parent in this situation.

The trouble is, there really are bad people out there (maybe not in the numbers many would have us believe), and the ones who have a thing for kids go where the kids are . I'd have no malice for the person who invited my son to play, but I wouldn't invite the possibility of trouble. Strangers are strangers, even if they share the same hobby as me.

To the original poster, I say divorce yourself from this situation. Educate them afterwards, so you don't have to deal with rumors 10 years from now about how you "used to do evil rituals with kids until you got caught". The appearance of impropriety can devastate your career and life in that town just as easily as actual impropriety could.

 

[Hunter Simon]

All things being neutral, I'd probably have a *big* propblem with my son gaming with a much older person as a minor. Unless I knew the person like a brother/sister, I'd have to wonder why they wanted to play with a kid. no matter what they said, it would still be in the back of my mind, and I'd dissallow my son from taking part without me or another adult I seriously trusted. I don't see any other way to be a good parent in this situation.

The trouble is, there really are bad people out there (maybe not in the numbers many would have us believe), and the ones who have a thing for kids go where the kids are . I'd have no malice for the person who invited my son to play, but I wouldn't invite the possibility of trouble. Strangers are strangers, even if they share the same hobby as me.

As a fellow parent, I salute you for stating things so eloquently.

I suspect that the people in this thread who have said, "What's the big friggin' deal? Stupid over-protective parents!" are probably university students who have no idea what it is like to actually *be* a parent.

 

[The Grumpy Celt]

I’m not a teacher but I am a professional journalist who covers schools – elementary, middle and high school – as part of my regular beat.

d20fool, you dancing of think ice and are hearing cracking sounds – avoid this before it becomes a problem that could kill your career. Far too many people are reactionary in general and seem to enjoy becoming volatile over minor issues. This is even truer for parents about their children.

Stop inviting any students to your house or you will be targeted by people who, through ignorance or design, will misrepresent you, what you are doing and the D&D game.

This has nothing to do with true or lies. This has nothing to do with right and wrong. This has everything to do with people – who are too easily led by their emotions – reacting to children playing a game with a dubious reputation with a much older man in an apparently unsupervised environment. Off hand, I can not think of a more effective way to push the buttons of a community.

Further, as a journalist I can tell you this is the kind of thing all too many reporters pray to fall into their laps. It’s what I call a “mayhem” story – something is happening that will offend people and will therefore sell papers. If reporters show up, it will not be to make you, or what you have been doing, look good.

Stop inviting any kids to your house and keep quite about this in your school environment. If asked, tell them you changed your mind and the kids need to do something like try out for the basketball team or work harder to join the BETA club. Then change the subject.

 

[RSKennan]

As a fellow parent, I salute you for stating things so eloquently.

I suspect that the people in this thread who have said, "What's the big friggin' deal? Stupid over-protective parents!" are probably university students who have no idea what it is like to actually *be* a parent.

I hear you. I'd probably have been in their camp about 6 years ago. The world can be a dangerous place, and it's not being overprotective to cover the bases.

 

[Buttercup]

All things being neutral, I'd probably have a *big* propblem with my son gaming with a much older person as a minor. Unless I knew the person like a brother/sister, I'd have to wonder why they wanted to play with a kid. no matter what they said, it would still be in the back of my mind, and I'd dissallow my son from taking part without me or another adult I seriously trusted. I don't see any other way to be a good parent in this situation.

I'd feel the same way.

The trouble is, there really are bad people out there (maybe not in the numbers many would have us believe), and the ones who have a thing for kids go where the kids are . I'd have no malice for the person who invited my son to play, but I wouldn't invite the possibility of trouble. Strangers are strangers, even if they share the same hobby as me.

This is so true. As a public librarian, I've seen pedophiles hanging around the kiddie section of the library on more than one occasion. And that's a public place.

So as a parent, my take on this situation would be that even if the DM is fine, some of the other players are adults, and who knows if they're all on the up-and-up. It's just too dangerous.

 

[Mark Chance]

Just to throw my pennies in: I'm a teacher and a parent. One thing I strive to get my students to understand is this: "I am friendly. I can be trusted. I am knowledgeable and devoted. But, I am not going to be any child's bestest friend. We're not hanging out at the mall together. We're not going to birthday parties together. I am an adult, and you are not. There are boundaries that must be respected."

My students have no business in my home or in my gaming group. If they want to game, they can game with their own friends away from me and mine.

 

[CrusadeDave]

My .02$

I am a volunteer at a local Youth Group. A gaming group somehow formed out a chunk of the volunteers, that I DM. One of the Youth's dad actually worked as a Manager at the FLGS in town, and eventually, asked me if I wanted to join his new group. I declined, explaining that I already have a group I plan in, and a group that I run.

Eventually, The son of the FLGS employee blabbed to other members of the youth group. A couple of people asked if they could join our group.

Even though I trust the parents and youth completely, my answer was this:
Not until you turn 18. Not until you graduate from High School. And if it ever becomes a problem or issue with your parents or anyone at the Church, it's over. So I made them wait 10 months. Just to be safe.

Forget gaming in public places. If they're under 18 and their parents aren't in the group, boot them. You can encourage them to start their own game, or even join the RPGA, and point them towards all the local Game Days and Conventions in the area, if you really don't want to leave the members out to dry when you boot them.

But you have to boot them.