D&D has threatened my job!

[JesterPoet]

My response comes from experience. Not as a teacher or parent, but as an adult who, as a kid, had a D&D group disbanded by an overprotective parent (and God knows, there's more of them now than there were in the 1980's... same number of psychos, just more overprotective parents) who didn't understand what was going on.

I'd kick the kids out of the group. But I wouldn't end it there. Don't just tell the kids, "You can't play any more, we have to put an age restriction on the group." Instead, tell them why they can't play anymore. Explain to them that there have been complaints from parents that the game is a bad influence, and that some parents don't trust that there isn't anything subversive going on. Don't accuse anyone specifically, and, most importantly, no matter what, refuse to tell them whose parents complained... don't even tell them that the person isn't in the group anymore. Make sure they leave wondering. They will. And they'll confront their parents.

That's exactly what happened to my group when I was a kid. We all went back and confronted our parents. Nobody could figure out who did it, but we were all mad as hell. None of us gave up gaming. We're all still gamers, and we just found another way to participate in the hobby. A lot of parents had their eyes opened by that. Even my mother, who, I found out years later, was the one who complained. She now totally supports not only this hobby, but everything I do, and has for years.

It's true, this won't help you outside of covering your butt. It'll still mean you lose your players. But you'll help those kids. I assure you. Kids aren't stupid, and they don't like being told they can't do something "just because." Especially when they know it's irrational. Plus, it gives you a little stab back at the community, and helps bring overprotective parents down a notch, which, arguably, many of them need.

Good luck.



Disclaimer: My mother is an awesome person. Always has been. Unfortunately I was born with OCS (only-child syndrome) so we suffered occasional incidents of overprotectiveness like the one mentioned above. Everyone makes mistakes. It was just nice to be able to point one out.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

An ammendment to my (and others') advice about the school-ground game club:

Don't make it D&D specific, but DO ensure the kids aren't just goofing off. Make sure the games have some kind of track record or other merit. If you do try to go the "educational" route, you also have a unique opportunity to work with your math colleague to generate a new game system to teach statistics & game theory. In fact, the club could be called the "Game Theory Club."

Two final things from me:

#1) Absolutely let us know what your decision was and what happened. Periodic updates might also be informative.

#2) This thread needs to be archived or stickied. Too much good advice to let slip away.

 

[Greatwyrm]

I'm not a lawyer. However, I grew up in a small town and I've got enough teachers in my family to start my own school.

If you value your job, cut the kids. Small town politics is brutal and a mother like the one here, she has clones everywhere, can be a thorn in your side your entire career. Every time you're up for a promotion, want an extra coaching job, or something like that, she'll make sure that these "suspicious" rumors pop back up. If you haven't gotten tenure yet, it'll be even worse.

I know it stinks and I know it's stupid, but sometimes you have to be a closet gamer.

 

[Varianor Abroad]

Not a lawyer. I am an insurance adjuster. I handle litigation against schools, among other policyholders. Both my parents are teachers and I almost got a teaching cert myself. There, credentials over.

If the principal told you not on school grounds or you lose your job, that's it. Period. You can't hold the game there. You are on legal notice that he's told you it's against school policy. Their policy carrier is now potentially able to deny you a defense because your actions from this point forward are "intentional." Not to mention which, most of the allegations arising from this sort of circumstance are usually not covered by the educator's policy and you do not qualify as an additional insured. Unless you're individual educator's policy is paid up with Horace Mann, you're at risk to expose personal assets if there's a lawsuit over this. Because a civil suit can happen. Unlikely if you're in the Midwest, but not unheard of.

Sorry. It sucks.

Get a club started out of the school in a public place. Best you can do. And I'd write out a nice note to your underage players expressing your regret and telling them why they have to leave. Then stick to it. You may be able to salvage a little bit as club advisor to the underage kids, but they have to take over the DMs role. Then maybe they can rejoin your over 18 game in a few years if this turns out well.

Much as this pains me to write it, I see that this is a bad situation brewing. The sad part is that this is just another example of how teachers are held to higher, more stringent standards than parents to blame the teachers for the fears and shortcomings of their upbringing.

Good luck to you.

 

[Hunter Simon]

Any help here folks? What should my course of action be? Any lawyers in the house have advice for me?

I've been a high school teacher for 12 years. I have to tell you that for any teacher to ask high school students over to his house is both extremely unwise and, frankly, unprofessional.

Playing D&D is not the issue here. A teacher entertaining minors at home is the problem.

 

[Macbeth]

I think there's so much good advice here that there's nothing more to say, and I really want to just say "that sucks" and wish you well.

But, Since I'm responding anyway, here's my advice.

I'd say go for making it a public club. Failing that, get complete parental consent and play at a public place, never at your house. Failing that, I think you have no choice but to drop the minors from your game. But if you do HAVE to drop them, make sure to send them off with some dice and continue to offer advice and support to them so they can run the game for themselves.

 

[Xath]

I've been a high school teacher for 12 years. I have to tell you that for any teacher to ask high school students over to his house is both extremely unwise and, frankly, unprofessional.

Playing D&D is not the issue here. A teacher entertaining minors at home is the problem.

Why? It's one thing if these are his students, it's another thing if they are friends with a disparity in age. Teachers are people too, they have as much right to have friends over as anyone else. In small town communities especially, it can be difficult to find a group of gamers within your immediate age range. I think what we have here is a case of OPS (overprotective parent syndrome). Having grown up in an ops environment, I can tell you that alot of advice in this thread is applicabe. Have the parents over. Explain to them what is going on. You may even want to rotate the gaming venue. If everyone takes turns hosting sessions, you give the parents an opportunity to witness, not only what goes on in a game, but how their children are interacting with their peers and other age groups.

 

[Flexor the Mighty!]

I know a guy who is a teacher in a Missouri grade school. He has said that on no occasion will he, or the other male teachers, touch the children. No pats on the back, no hug if the kid scrapes the hell out of his knee or needs some kind of comfort, nothing at all. He says there have been too many accusations against other male teachers to even risk the chance some parent will decide that a pat on the shoulder is bad touching. That kind of sucks but I can't blame him.

I'd stop gaming with students if I was you. It's asking for trouble IMO.

 

[Woas]

Maybe you could try making a gaming club at the school that is sanctioned by the school as an actual club or whatever. Clubs like that are always looking for a teacher to head it.

 

[Hunter Simon]

Why?

Because of problems like that one we're discussing in this thread.

And if the only friends you can find are teenagers, there's something wrong.