D&D has threatened my job!

[vulcan_idic]

i'm not a lawyer or parent. i'm a lab rat. i'll give you some advice my grandmother gave me.

don't s**t where you eat.

right or wrong. fraternization is a no no in some fields. the military still doesn't allow it.

Diaglo is right on. And as the military explains its strigency on this and many other rules - it's not just doing the wrong thing, but insuring, as much as possible, that there is no appearance or perception of something bad happening. Be paranoid - just in case people *are* out to get you... because soon or later someone probably will be. (At least in these sorts of cases... the whole "conspiracy theorists" take the idea well beyond rational if you ask me... but that's a whole other kettle of fish)

 

[scourger]

I'm an attorney, and I'll echo some of the advice given by other lawyers (and non-lawyers). Quit gaming with these kids. Period.

If you feel you MUST do so, do it in a public place. Find a game store or something as suggested. But, be prepared for possible negative consequences in the community.

That's just the way it is.

 

[Xath]

When I was in high school, I gamed at my Biology teacher's house quite a bit. I think the main difference was, I gamed with his son, not with him. I started gaming with a group of people who were 4 years older than I, so I was the only minor of the group. I actually think my parents were more comfortable with me playing there than at any of the other houses, because they new my teacher through Back to School nights and the like.

I have to agree though. One of the things my parents did before I went anywhere new to game was to call the parents and talk to them for a bit, making sure they weren't crazy and ensuring that there would be adult supervision.

I think it would be helpful just to talk to the parents, explain what you do, and invite them over for a session.

 

[Alnag]

Oh my godness! I think, that although it is really a nice thing to invite students to gaming, it might be a problem in US. Here, in my country everybody would be more than pleased, especially parents, but that is a different culture.

Whatever you do, you should (may be) invite principal and or parents of theese kids to try the game (and probably not play something too dark/hack-and-slashing/etc.) to show them what is it about. A clever people will accept it, stupid one will burn you like a witch whatever you do. That is life!

 

[sjmiller]

right or wrong. fraternization is a no no in some fields. the military still doesn't allow it.

Just to clarify this a little, the military does not allow fraternization between a superior and a subordinent within a chain of command. So, fraternization between you and your supervisor is a no-no. Fraternization between you and someone in a different unit, not a problem.

 

[Buttercup]

Any help here folks? What should my course of action be? Any lawyers in the house have advice for me?

My first piece of advice would be to stop gaming with minors that aren't the child of an adult already in the gaming group. However, I suspect you don't want to do that, so the next best thing would be to play at the local public library.

 

[Host of Angels]

I hear what is being said - and I fully understand the legal advice - but I do hope that this does not just end up with these kids being ejected from the group. I realise that we live in a litigious society, and the States more so than others, but surely if steps are taken to make the game public, open and responsible then everyone benefits.

I'm no lawyer, neither a teacher, nor do I live in the States and my kids are both under 2 years of age - But I would see this rather than being a threat to be feared and run away from - but as a fantastic opportunity to set up a games club and encourage more people to participate in our hobby, even though they may be under the age of consent. I may take a pile of extra effort, but the community ends up with a fantastic resource - take Morrus and this site as an inspiration...

 

[diaglo]

Just to clarify this a little, the military does not allow fraternization between a superior and a subordinent within a chain of command. So, fraternization between you and your supervisor is a no-no. Fraternization between you and someone in a different unit, not a problem.

sorry if it wasn't too clear. the whole grandmotherly advice was part of the statement.

 

[Thornir Alekeg]

I'm actually surprised that you tried to do anything with minors without the knowledge of their parents. I have to back up the mom on this one. What you describe sounds creepy to me even though I love D&D.

I've been gaming for over twenty years. I've been a parent for two years. I don't leave my child with any adult, anywhere, unless I know about it and approve it. I don't care if it is to play D&D or to help out at a nursing home.

Frankly, I worry every day about whether my son is safe. That's my most important job and far outweighs the need of any DM for players.

As a teacher, you should set an example for kids. Children should always let their parents know where they are and who they are with, especially when with adults.

I love D&D but if I found out a teacher was DMing for my son without my knowledge I'd complain too. It is irresponsible.

I'm in total agreement with this, as a parent and husband of a teacher.

It is sad that teachers sometimes face unfair scrutiny, but unfortunately they are in a position to strongly influence children. The facts of a small, but significant number of incidents around the country have created an awareness that parents cannot be as trusting as they used to be. It is the parents responsibility to know what their children are doing and their right to decide if it is ok for their child. It is your responsibility to help the parents do this if you wish to continue gaming with them. A lot of good advice here.

Make sure you know the parents and they are ok with it.

 

[billd91]

I'm actually surprised that you tried to do anything with minors without the knowledge of their parents. I have to back up the mom on this one. What you describe sounds creepy to me even though I love D&D.

<snip>
As a teacher, you should set an example for kids. Children should always let their parents know where they are and who they are with, especially when with adults.

I love D&D but if I found out a teacher was DMing for my son without my knowledge I'd complain too. It is irresponsible.

Now, just a minute here. Who is at fault for the parent not knowing what the kids are doing? Is it the teacher's fault or the kids'? If the kids were being evasive about what they were doing at the teacher's place, they shouldn't have been evasive. That's not the teacher's fault. However, I can see it being a good idea in general to contact the parents DIRECTLY for permission for the kids to play rather than rely on notoriously irresponsible teenagers. That doesn't make it the teacher's fault or irresponsibility that the parents didn't know in the first place.

There should be no problem of an adult playing with minors or participating in any hobby from scouting to gaming to book clubs (with the obvious exception of illegal hobbies like pederasty, but you get the picture). But someone has to get the permission of the custodial parents whether it's the adult in the game or the kids. And to CYA, it had better be the adult being super-responsible by taking the responsibility for the kids.

For what it's worth, I have 2 kids and I am not a lawyer nor a teacher.