Did I do the right thing?

[tarchon]

I'm appalled by the number of people in this thread that think it's "uncool" to report drunk drivers. How cool would it be if a drunk driver killed someone you care about, even if that only applies to yourself?

Well, he didn't actually report her while she was drunk driving - he "called all the local police departments and told them to watch out for Her"

("All cars in Springfield, Hooterville, Hazzard County, and Schmoetown, be on the lookout for Jane Smith whenever she happens to be driving around because it's entirely possible she could be intoxicated!" What exactly are they going to do with that?)

I agree with the people who say there's a lot more to this than simply reporting a random drunk driver, both practically and ethically. I'd be the first call to call the cops on some drunk behind the wheel, but that's a long, long way from calling numerous local police departments and telling them to "watch out for" the girl you just broke up with.

More here than the eye spies.

 

[the Jester]

If you can't hang with her lifestyle, you absolutely did the right thing in breaking it off.

If you wouldn't turn her in when you were with her, then you're likely doing it out of bitterness now, even if only subconsciously. Bad move, imho. You've certainly shot any chance of things getting better between you, and if you really care about her you prolly shouldn't have burned your bridges.

 

[Bloodstone Press]

KenM said a few things in his first post that I think a few people have overlooked:

She knew that I have dealt with drug uers in the past and have a really negitive view of them. She did not care, I tried to talk to her about it but she would keep doing it. I'm very concerned that she will kill someone,

We don't know what he means by "dealt with drug uers in the past " but since he has "a really negitive view of them" and this girl seems to not care, I have to conclude that she is not very smart. Also, anyone who drinks while driving is stoopid. And trust me, when it comes to drunks, I've seen and done a lot of stupid stuff. But I would never get in the car, open a beer and start driving around town.

80% of all automobile deaths in America involve alcohol (according to my business law professor). If you've ever tried to drive while drunk, you know why your shouldn't do that. Speed seems much slower than it actually is, your reaction time is impared and you are clumsy. Anyone who thinks they can drive like that are fooling themselves and putting all other drivers at risk.

Not to mention the legal risk.

In my opinion, that girl is headed for a troubled life and I wouldn't want to spend a whole lot of time with her. As for calling all the cops..... I don't know. I can't really comment on it without getting politcal.

 

[Mystery Man]

Man, that sounds like the closing statement of a defense attorney.

Or a troll.

 

[Darth K'Trava]

I'd say you almost certainly did the right thing. Anybody irresponsible enough to drive while high is not someone you want to entrust any part of your future to if you can help it. It does suck though, when you see someone worth saving, but they won't save themselves. And you can't if they won't meet you halfway.

Last night I tried to leave. Cried so much I could not believe, she was the same girl I fell in love with long ago. She went in the back to get high, I sat out on the couch and cried out, 'oh mama, please help me - won't you hold my hand.' - "Let Her Cry" by Hootie and the Blowfish

True, Torm. If the other person can't meet halfway, then there's not much you can do.... And knowing where you come from on this sort of issue.....

Fitting song.

 

[haiiro]

I agree that you did the right thing by breaking up with her, Ken. As far as reporting to the police -- that's a tough one. Without knowing more background, I'd have to say I wouldn't have done that -- it just isn't my style.

Do you feel like reporting her was the right thing to do, or is it giving you the willies now that it's done?

 

[Bryan898]

I think you definetely did the right move. There seems to be little to stay in the relationship for if she's doing something that causes that much of a problem.

Exactly what do you people consider drunk driving? The way I understand it she's drinking maybe a beer while she's driving, but not plastered. It's not exactly the best or brightest thing to do, but it seems like it's being blown out of proportion. Maybe I'm reading it wrong. We don't really have public transportation where I'm from, and people drive after drinking one or two beers all the time. There's a Huge difference between legally drunk and actually being drunk. That being said, I'm completely 100% against people driving while drunk, but think the legal limit is ridiculous.

An interesting thing I've noticed, people often rant about irresponsible people drunk driving, but you never hear them complain about people driving while tired. I hear about accidents all the time where someone was tired and swerved into the other lane, or ran off the road into a tree.

 

[fusangite]

Ken,

Have you seen studies on marijuana use and driving? It is generally considered that THC does very little to impair driving. And, in some cases, appears to enhance certain positive behaviours in motorists. But that's hardly the point.

But that's really to side issue. Here's what I see: I see a man who has no problem being driven by his girlfriend for months when she's drinking or smoking pot but the moment he is no longer getting sex from this woman decides to try and get her thrown in jail. Now, maybe it was your decision to break off the relationship; maybe it was mutual; doesn't really matter from where I'm sitting. What I see is a guy who breaks up with a girl and then immediately tries to get her driver's license and possibly her freedom taken away. And that doesn't exactly sound admirable, does it?

But before I really lay into you, what I really need to know is this: did you give this woman any prior warning of your intention to take these extreme (and to my view, vindictive) measures before you broke up with her?

Also, the other thing I need to know: you say this woman's pot consumption was excessive but you said nothing of her level of alcohol use. How far over the legal limit was she when driving? A little? A lot? Not at all? As far as I know, two Canadian beers (probably 4 American ones) isn't really enough to put you over the limit on a full stomach so I'm curious there too. Do you view her alcohol use as excessive simply because of her marijuana usa?

 

[loki44]

I'm appalled by the number of people in this thread that think it's "uncool" to report drunk drivers. How cool would it be if a drunk driver killed someone you care about, even if that only applies to yourself?

Whether it is cool or uncool isn't the point. I for one am certainly not advocating driving while under the influence. Not only is it illegal, but it's also stupid. What I was trying to get at was that his approach was all wrong. I wasn't trying to take a shot at KenM, but rather trying to get him to think about what his real motives were in doing what he did and why he felt bad about it.

 

[Krieg]

FWIW Jester's post reflects my thoughts almost verbatim.

80% of all automobile deaths in America involve alcohol (according to my business law professor).

Your prof should know better than to deliberate misuse statistics.

Oh wait he's a law professor, misquotes & abuse of statistics is a prerequisite....