Do you tell pretty girls that they're pretty?

[Rel]

Maybe I'm just some kind of freak of nature, but I don't understand exactly why it is that straight guys get all excited about lesbians. It's not like they're interesting in you butting in with your, er... equipment.

See, JD, you're confusing real life lesbians (who aren't interested in dude junk and are occasionally Rosie O'Donnell) with Fantasy Lesbians who all look like...well, Porn Stars. Fantasy Lesbians say things like "Come and join us, big boy. Three's company! *giggle*" It's true. I seen it on TV.

It's sort of the same way that gamers sometimes confuse warrior women (who are probably all scarred up and well armored) with Fantasy Warrior Women who all look like...well, Porn Stars. Fantasy Warrior Women say things like, "Come help me slay this Troglodyte, big boy. Once the danger is over, I can slip out of this chainmail bikini and help you polish your sword." It's true. I seen it in a Boris Vallejo painting.

And never the twain shall meet.

 

[Queen_Dopplepopolis]

Easy now! I should amend that statement by saying I prefer my strangers to be porn stars, not people I know, even only through a message board.

Thanks for putting me in that spot, JD!

Putting *you* on the spot?! What about ME?!

... however, I will take it as flattery and assume that JD thinks I look like a porn star.

 

[reveal]

I think this song fits the thread well.

She sits alone waiting for suggestions
He's so nervous avoiding all her questions
His lips are dry, her heart is gently pounding
Don't you just know exactly what they're thinking?

If you want my body and you think I'm sexy
Come on, sugar, let me know
If you really need me just reach out and touch me
Come on, honey, tell me so

He's acting shy looking for an answer
Come on, honey, let's spend the night together
Now hold on a minute before we go much further
Give me a dime so I can phone my mother
They catch a cab to his high rise apartment
At last he can tell her exactly what his heart meant

If you want my body and you think I'm sexy
Come on, sugar, let me know
If you really need me just reach out and touch me
Come on, honey, tell me so

His heart's beating like a drum
'Cause at last he's got his girl home
Relax, baby, now we are alone

[break]

They wake at dawn 'cause all the birds are singing
Two total strangers but that ain't what they're thinking
Outside it's cold, misty and it's raining
They got each other, neither one's complaining
He say's I'm sorry but I'm out of milk and coffee
Never mind, sugar, we can watch the early movie

If you want my body and you think I'm sexy
Come on, sugar, let me know
If you really need me just reach out and touch me
Come on, honey, tell me so
Tell me so, baby

- Do ya think I'm sexy? by Rod Stewart

 

[Kanegrundar]

Putting *you* on the spot?! What about ME?!

... however, I will take it as flattery and assume that JD thinks I look like a porn star.

That's an awesome way of looking at it.

I would like to hear The Universe's response to all of this...

 

[Rel]

... however, I will take it as flattery and assume that JD thinks I look like a porn star.

I think I've just added a new compliment to my repertoire: "You're pretty enough to be a porn star!"

 

[Rel]

I would like to hear The Universe's response to all of this...

Last time I think it was, "Oh...My...God!"

That was, IIRC, when I told Queen D that I was imagining her naked as revenge for some petty slight on her part. I'd like to think that I'm above that sort of thing these days but I know for certain that I'm not.

 

[reveal]

I think I've just added a new compliment to my repertoire: "You're pretty enough to be a porn star!"

Just make sure not to start that sentence, "From behind...."

 

[Belen]

Last time I think it was, "Oh...My...God!"

That was, IIRC, when I told Queen D that I was imagining her naked as revenge for some petty slight on her part. I'd like to think that I'm above that sort of thing these days but I know for certain that I'm not.

That's it. I am wearing lead at the next game day!

 

[Kanegrundar]

That's it. I am wearing lead at the next game day!

Won't work. It's like a woman covered in bulky layers in the winter. My mind can easily strip all that away...

 

[Belen]

Won't work. It's like a woman covered in bulky layers in the winter. My mind can easily strip all that away...

Must...go...wash....brain...in....ajax....