does a nice, shy, meek guy have a chance in hell?

[Rel]

Rel's first book: Rel's Rules for Toting the Pumpkin: Bred to Breed.

Actually, the working title for my first non-gaming-related book is Stuff I Say. My wife lives in fear that somebody besides me will someday read it.

 

[fusangite]

if you see a chunky girl reading an manga, ask her what her favorite comic is and then slip "wanna go out sometime" in the conversation. she may be pleasantly surprised, and you may be too!

Too many people may be onto this trick in Toronto, though. I've been shot down by two shy chunky comic book-reading girls in this town since spring.

 

[DarrenGMiller]

I think one of the most important and helpful things that you could do is not directly involved with seeking a relationship. This is tough, but VERY important. My brother had a lot of issues similar to what you are dealing with.

Add some structure to your life. So, you don't have a job that you have to go to at a certain time. Give yourself places to be at certain times throughout the day. Establish a typical day and (here's the hard part) stick to it. Post your schedule in a prominent location on a large dry erase calendar. Add any appointments or whatever to it and check it every day at the same time. In fact, schedule time to review your daily schedule. I know it sounds like a total pain, but it is a great tool to achieving your goals. Schedule everything from waking up, taking a shower, eating three good meals a day, taking a walk, whatever. As you meet your schedule each day, you will raise your self-esteem. You are meeting your goals (believe me, these are as valuable as many of my goals at work). Once you get into the routine, you will feel better, sleep better and have some fun doing things you enjoy on a regular basis (schedule them!).

Also, my wife's cousin made money by donating plasma. The catch is that your blood alcohol has to be below a certain level. If you exceed that level, they don't allow you to donate any more. Period. Give it a shot. You can make some money from it and help others.

There have been some great practical suggestions in this thread. Please give some of them a try.

DM

 

[Aaron L]

sadly, in this town, if your truck doesnt have a gunrack in it, and your belt buckle isnt bigger than your IQ, then your out of luck as far as women are concerned. trust me. at least the single ones. anyone good is already taken.

 

[Crothian]

sadly, in this town, if your truck doesnt have a gunrack in it, and your belt buckle isnt bigger than your IQ, then your out of luck as far as women are concerned. trust me. at least the single ones. anyone good is already taken.

Then get a gun rack and a large buckle. I've heard of lots of men that have to change their ways to atract women like shaving, bathing, dressing nicely, not being abusive.....the belt buckle and gun rack are easy compaired to that.

 

[Aaron L]

I just cant find a big enough belt buckle!!

the not being abusive part is optional around here, apparently.

 

[Teflon Billy]

Totally get a big belt-buckle.

First: They are cool.

Second: You've identified it as something that will aid you in getting a girl.

Hop to it.

This would be my choice

 

[Teflon Billy]

the not being abusive part is optional around here, apparently.

It's always optional when you are dealing with folks with low self-esteem (as you will be).

Choose not to.

 

[Psion]

Y'know, normally when I see TB dispense wisdom, it's usually not long until someone of the fairer gender decries it as untrue.

Seeing a woman "getting his back" as it were (no, not in that way, you out there with the dirty minds) makes the whole thing almost... cosmic.

 

[Kanegrundar]

How far away are you from a larger town? Maybe getting out and socializing in a different neck of the woods would do your game some good. I'm from a town of 12,000. Most of the women in town where either already taken, I had gone out with and got dumped or I dumped, I had shot down, or they had shot me down. Not a lot of options there. I started hanging out in other towns nearby and I started getting more dates. Nothing of any consequence, but I had a good time nonetheless.

Either that, or try an online dating service. That's how I met my fiancee (through Match.com). True, there are a LOT of freaks on those things, but it may be the ticket to start off slow with some emails or IM's with a gal that sounds interesting instead of approaching a gal cold. Plus, you'd be more like to find someone with a background that fits with you better. If you go that route, be ready to run screaming a few times. Lord knows I met some pretty awful gals that way, but I also met a lot of cool gals also some from my area I had never seen before.

Edit: TB's advice about aiming low and working up is golden. Let other women see you with someone under your league. It's amazing how it works.