does a nice, shy, meek guy have a chance in hell?
- Thread starter Aaron L
- Start date
Dark Jezter
First Post
The Punisher called. He wants his belt buckle back.Teflon Billy said:Totally get a big belt-buckle.
First: They are cool.
Second: You've identified it as something that will aid you in getting a girl.
Hop to it.
This would be my choice
BOZ
Creature Cataloguer
fusangite said:
of course that trick's not going to work for you; that advice was for Aaron.
you should bring him up to canucktown and introduce him to those girls and watch the MACK in action! (hell, he could probably pick one up and get one for you too! that's what buds are for!)
Barendd Nobeard
Explorer
Impeesa said:Hehe, thanks. I figured it beat the obligatory "paging TB" reply.
--Impeesa--
Can you put it up for sale at Cafe Press? That would be an awesome shirt to wear to GenCon next year!
And, Aaron, good luck! Take some of this advice and run with it. You've got almost nothing to lose except your unhappiness.
Teflon Billy
Explorer
Dark Jezter said:The Punisher called. He wants his belt buckle back.
Ahh, yeah. I hadn't thought of that.
I guess drop that earlier one and go with this one...
Ralts Bloodthorne
First Post
OK, pull up a chair, hand me that bottle whiskey, and shut the hell up. Listen up, and listen good.
Number One: YOU ARE NOT A WOMAN! STOP ACTING LIKE ONE!
"I'm shy, sensitive, like long walks in the moonlight, and want to make some lucky man a good wife!" is practically what I read. You're not equipped to be a lesbain. Quit watched Ellen and watch ESPN. Go out and play football with some friends. Get bloody, dirty, smelly, go to the tavern afterwards and stop worrying about other people's feelings.
Seriously, stop worrying about your looks. I'm uglier than a chimp that fell out of an ugly tree, hit every branch twice on the way down, hit the ugly highway, and was run over by the ugly truck. Guess what! I got women. Don't worry about looks.
I'll give you some basic advice. Some of this has already been covered, and some people will say I'm wrong.
Number the Two: WASH YOUR STANKY BUTT! Every morning, when you get home from work, and every night before you press your skin on those sheets. And wash your hair! Bathing is necessary. NOBODY sniffs someone else and says: Ooooh, (s)he smells like unwashed buttcrack on a three day dead prostitute, I gotta have them, right now, on the table. WASH WASH WASH! Choose a soap that goes with your sweat too. This is vitally important. There's a couple of deodorants that combine with my sweat and make me smell like I just got done wrestling a puma! This may cost a little cash, but buy samples or small bottles, and spray it on a sweaty shirt, and sniff it.
Use cologne or aftershave SPARINGLY! She wants a slight wiff of it when she's close, not tasting it in her chalupa two hours later. Spritz it in front of you and walk through the mist quickly. That's enough. If you can smell it strongly, go back and repeat the above, try again.
The Holy Three: WEAR CLEAN CLOTHING! For the love of GOD! Nothing is worse than someone wearing pants that could come up to the bar and order drinks on thier own. That black shirt you got for free with a copy of SOCOM 3 that hasn't been washed since the factory isn't going to cut it. You need to wear clean, decent clothing.
Every meeting is an interview. View it that way. Dress decently, but comfortably. There's nothing wrong with wearing slacks and a button up tie to a club. If the rednecks laugh, ignore them, are you trying to date THEM?
Four by Four: Maintain eye contact. Guess what, when talking to a woman, her ears are NOT located on thier chest. Glance away at the surroundings once in awhile, but for the most part, FOCUS ON HER! Do you want HER to put out, or the TV behind the bar. If you chose the TV, I can't help you, but Wal-Mart Electronics might be able to.
Fifth Element: Don't talk down to her. Talk WITH her, not to her. You want an equal, not a verbal sponge. Talking WITH her shows that you are listening, that you have a spine. Oh, and on that line...
Sixth Seal: Have a damn spine. Don't be afraid to say no, but don't say no to everything. A good estimate, let the things taht don't matter go her way, that way the important things she will listen to you about. Don't be afraid to say: "I hate that bar, the bartender smells like a dead hobo in the sun on a pile of dead fish" when she wants to go in there.
Seventh Heaven: Don't think about looks. You know those models? They aren't real. They look NOTHING like that in real life, and if you actually found someone built like one of those airbrush models, call 911 because when she takes a step her waist will snap in half and spray you with entrails. Want to know a secret? Those pretty girls are crap in the sack. They're lazy, self-indulgent, and expect having a body to be the whole experience. See the plain girl with glasses quietly reading that book? She let's that hair hit the pillow, you might need an ambulance when she's done. If you go off of looks, put your eyes out with an ice pick, you'll be happier.
Eight Points of Seperation: Girls talk. About everything. From what you did, to how you did it, to how long you took, to the way you acted before, during, afterward, to where you took them, to how you smelled, tasted, everything. She will tell her friends all the dirty details. If you can't handle that, or can't think beyond yourself, start figuring out how to break into the zoo after dark.
Nine Ways to Leave: Break ups WILL happen. Fights, arguements, disagreements. They happen. A mature thing is to get by them. BUT, never ever ever ever ever ever cheat on a woman. She will tell her friends, who will tell her friends, and everyone who didn't know while you were doing it, will be told by both of the women, and no local woman will EVER trust you again. At least, not after your ex or one of her friends sees you together. Just because Girl A is putting out doesn't suddenly make you the King of Vagina.
Ten of Clubs: Continue being nice. Keep a little of the meekness. GET RID OF THE MEEKNESS! No woman wakes up and thinks: "You know, I've never tried bestiality, I'll bed a mouse today!" No woman wants to date a woman in a man's body. Being meek means letting people walk over you in public opinion. You need to have your opinions on politics, religion, etc. Let her slowly swing you to some of her views, but have your own opinions, have a backbone, don't give in to everything.
Listen to some of the advice in here! Look, an RPG board is probably NOT the best place to ask for advice. Nowhere on the internet is. You're painting a big target on your head and being surprised when you get shot in face.
If you give up after only a few tries, after trying to change, you will never get anywhere in life.
Want to know something?
Most women are worried about the following:
Employability. Can you get and HOLD a job.
Livability. Do you live with Mommy? Say goodbye to the ladies.
Rapport. Do you actually listen? Actually hold a conversation with her face, or are you too busy mumbling at her breasts?
Looks come in a bad fourth, at best.
Listen to Teflon Billy. Listen to other people in this thread.
Don't do the Boomhauer School of Dating, but make no mistake, while you learn to crawl, your gonna smash your face on the carpet a few times.
Just because she doesn't want to date you the first night doesn't mean she won't remember you and how polite and nice you were the next time she sees you in the club.
Number One: YOU ARE NOT A WOMAN! STOP ACTING LIKE ONE!
"I'm shy, sensitive, like long walks in the moonlight, and want to make some lucky man a good wife!" is practically what I read. You're not equipped to be a lesbain. Quit watched Ellen and watch ESPN. Go out and play football with some friends. Get bloody, dirty, smelly, go to the tavern afterwards and stop worrying about other people's feelings.
Seriously, stop worrying about your looks. I'm uglier than a chimp that fell out of an ugly tree, hit every branch twice on the way down, hit the ugly highway, and was run over by the ugly truck. Guess what! I got women. Don't worry about looks.
I'll give you some basic advice. Some of this has already been covered, and some people will say I'm wrong.
Number the Two: WASH YOUR STANKY BUTT! Every morning, when you get home from work, and every night before you press your skin on those sheets. And wash your hair! Bathing is necessary. NOBODY sniffs someone else and says: Ooooh, (s)he smells like unwashed buttcrack on a three day dead prostitute, I gotta have them, right now, on the table. WASH WASH WASH! Choose a soap that goes with your sweat too. This is vitally important. There's a couple of deodorants that combine with my sweat and make me smell like I just got done wrestling a puma! This may cost a little cash, but buy samples or small bottles, and spray it on a sweaty shirt, and sniff it.
Use cologne or aftershave SPARINGLY! She wants a slight wiff of it when she's close, not tasting it in her chalupa two hours later. Spritz it in front of you and walk through the mist quickly. That's enough. If you can smell it strongly, go back and repeat the above, try again.
The Holy Three: WEAR CLEAN CLOTHING! For the love of GOD! Nothing is worse than someone wearing pants that could come up to the bar and order drinks on thier own. That black shirt you got for free with a copy of SOCOM 3 that hasn't been washed since the factory isn't going to cut it. You need to wear clean, decent clothing.
Every meeting is an interview. View it that way. Dress decently, but comfortably. There's nothing wrong with wearing slacks and a button up tie to a club. If the rednecks laugh, ignore them, are you trying to date THEM?
Four by Four: Maintain eye contact. Guess what, when talking to a woman, her ears are NOT located on thier chest. Glance away at the surroundings once in awhile, but for the most part, FOCUS ON HER! Do you want HER to put out, or the TV behind the bar. If you chose the TV, I can't help you, but Wal-Mart Electronics might be able to.
Fifth Element: Don't talk down to her. Talk WITH her, not to her. You want an equal, not a verbal sponge. Talking WITH her shows that you are listening, that you have a spine. Oh, and on that line...
Sixth Seal: Have a damn spine. Don't be afraid to say no, but don't say no to everything. A good estimate, let the things taht don't matter go her way, that way the important things she will listen to you about. Don't be afraid to say: "I hate that bar, the bartender smells like a dead hobo in the sun on a pile of dead fish" when she wants to go in there.
Seventh Heaven: Don't think about looks. You know those models? They aren't real. They look NOTHING like that in real life, and if you actually found someone built like one of those airbrush models, call 911 because when she takes a step her waist will snap in half and spray you with entrails. Want to know a secret? Those pretty girls are crap in the sack. They're lazy, self-indulgent, and expect having a body to be the whole experience. See the plain girl with glasses quietly reading that book? She let's that hair hit the pillow, you might need an ambulance when she's done. If you go off of looks, put your eyes out with an ice pick, you'll be happier.
Eight Points of Seperation: Girls talk. About everything. From what you did, to how you did it, to how long you took, to the way you acted before, during, afterward, to where you took them, to how you smelled, tasted, everything. She will tell her friends all the dirty details. If you can't handle that, or can't think beyond yourself, start figuring out how to break into the zoo after dark.
Nine Ways to Leave: Break ups WILL happen. Fights, arguements, disagreements. They happen. A mature thing is to get by them. BUT, never ever ever ever ever ever cheat on a woman. She will tell her friends, who will tell her friends, and everyone who didn't know while you were doing it, will be told by both of the women, and no local woman will EVER trust you again. At least, not after your ex or one of her friends sees you together. Just because Girl A is putting out doesn't suddenly make you the King of Vagina.
Ten of Clubs: Continue being nice. Keep a little of the meekness. GET RID OF THE MEEKNESS! No woman wakes up and thinks: "You know, I've never tried bestiality, I'll bed a mouse today!" No woman wants to date a woman in a man's body. Being meek means letting people walk over you in public opinion. You need to have your opinions on politics, religion, etc. Let her slowly swing you to some of her views, but have your own opinions, have a backbone, don't give in to everything.
Listen to some of the advice in here! Look, an RPG board is probably NOT the best place to ask for advice. Nowhere on the internet is. You're painting a big target on your head and being surprised when you get shot in face.
If you give up after only a few tries, after trying to change, you will never get anywhere in life.
Want to know something?
Most women are worried about the following:
Employability. Can you get and HOLD a job.
Livability. Do you live with Mommy? Say goodbye to the ladies.
Rapport. Do you actually listen? Actually hold a conversation with her face, or are you too busy mumbling at her breasts?
Looks come in a bad fourth, at best.
Listen to Teflon Billy. Listen to other people in this thread.
Don't do the Boomhauer School of Dating, but make no mistake, while you learn to crawl, your gonna smash your face on the carpet a few times.
Just because she doesn't want to date you the first night doesn't mean she won't remember you and how polite and nice you were the next time she sees you in the club.
Yay Warrior Poet! I like a lot of what you've said.
Aaron, I think a key here is getting yourself into your own routine with your meds and your
appointments. Maybe make it a goal that within a year you will be doing these things on your own and then you can think about things like moving out. In this year possibly cut back on tobacco and alcohol consumption and save a bit of money for an apartment deposit or such. Forget about women for the time and look to becoming a bit more independent. Maybe you can start by keeping a journal and marking in it the times you need to take your meds. To remind yourself, set an alarm to go off every hour or every two hours and you know you need to check your journal to see if it is time for medication and if so be sure to mark down after you take it. Get one of those BIG wall calendars like they use in offices and schools and write down all your appointments on it. Then after you get used to these changes, you start being the one to call the Dr.'s and make the appointments.
Take small steps to achieve the bigger ones. Set up a daily routine for yourself and stick to it. I am big on routine. It keeps order in my life. Sometimes weekends are hard for me because they are long stretches of unorganized time. Maybe you could start with waking up before noon, eating something, reading something, go walking, eat again, hit the internet, read again, have dinner watch some TV and go to bed. Just a suggestion. I also like weekly routines like, Mon. is house cleaning day, Wed. is library day, Friday is visit my parents day, things like that. It gives me things to look forward too on a weekly basis. That might be a bit much for you right now, but think about it. Start small with the big goal of being independent in mind.
Aaron, I think a key here is getting yourself into your own routine with your meds and your
appointments. Maybe make it a goal that within a year you will be doing these things on your own and then you can think about things like moving out. In this year possibly cut back on tobacco and alcohol consumption and save a bit of money for an apartment deposit or such. Forget about women for the time and look to becoming a bit more independent. Maybe you can start by keeping a journal and marking in it the times you need to take your meds. To remind yourself, set an alarm to go off every hour or every two hours and you know you need to check your journal to see if it is time for medication and if so be sure to mark down after you take it. Get one of those BIG wall calendars like they use in offices and schools and write down all your appointments on it. Then after you get used to these changes, you start being the one to call the Dr.'s and make the appointments.
Take small steps to achieve the bigger ones. Set up a daily routine for yourself and stick to it. I am big on routine. It keeps order in my life. Sometimes weekends are hard for me because they are long stretches of unorganized time. Maybe you could start with waking up before noon, eating something, reading something, go walking, eat again, hit the internet, read again, have dinner watch some TV and go to bed. Just a suggestion. I also like weekly routines like, Mon. is house cleaning day, Wed. is library day, Friday is visit my parents day, things like that. It gives me things to look forward too on a weekly basis. That might be a bit much for you right now, but think about it. Start small with the big goal of being independent in mind.
Ralts Bloodthorne
First Post
Oh, by the way, buddy (Hand me that bottle again, will ya?) this isn't just knocking ya. The above is deadly serious.
Once you do begin dating, do NOT start forgetting to shower, forgetting to wear clean clothing, etc.
BTW, you're complaining about the redneck women in the bars... Here's another small piece of advice...
Unless you have a Wing Leader whose willing to baby-walk you through all of this, and a second wingman to help watch your back, stay out of bars. You don't take a newborn, duct tape him to the steering wheel, and put the car in the drive, do you?
Go to EVENTS! Try going to rodeos and the like.
Look, you want a big hint?
The next time a circus, carnival, rodeo comes through town, go to it, and apply for some work. It's hard, it's sweaty, it's tough, but guess what...
A few flaws won't bother those people. And yeah, while the women ain't paragons of society, they can teach you a lot.
Once you do begin dating, do NOT start forgetting to shower, forgetting to wear clean clothing, etc.
BTW, you're complaining about the redneck women in the bars... Here's another small piece of advice...
Unless you have a Wing Leader whose willing to baby-walk you through all of this, and a second wingman to help watch your back, stay out of bars. You don't take a newborn, duct tape him to the steering wheel, and put the car in the drive, do you?
Go to EVENTS! Try going to rodeos and the like.
Look, you want a big hint?
The next time a circus, carnival, rodeo comes through town, go to it, and apply for some work. It's hard, it's sweaty, it's tough, but guess what...
A few flaws won't bother those people. And yeah, while the women ain't paragons of society, they can teach you a lot.
Ralts Bloodthorne
First Post
GET OUT OF THE DAMN HOUSE! You're walking. Good. Walk to the library. Be the "Dude who feeds the ducks." Walk somewhere with a purpose.Aaron L said:
You should have yelled back: "GET A VD TEST, [censored]!!"
Don't let some bimbo's who are going to end up in a trailer park with 9 kids, a husband that beats them, and meth-scars get you down.
Blow that off. Big deal. I've had kids ask thier mothers loud enough to hear: "Mommy, what happened to that man's face." and put up with initial looks of pity for years. Deal. Any loser with a couple grand can go through life with a plastic face with no character. Try being different.
OK, that one would have PO'd me to the point I would have kicked the tail lights out of the van the next time I saw it, but you have Tourrette's, I have rage issues.
Stop dwelling on those!
But have you been calling her?
A relationship is a two way street.
You're losing weight. Call her, tell her that you're wanting to change yourself (Only YOU can do this) and want a little guidance. Ask her how her life is going, ask her what life has been like for her. You have a female friend. If you were TRULY repulsive, you would have never even had that.
Then call him. Tell him you want to change your life, but can't do it yourself. Tell him you need to sleep on the couch till you get on your feet.
BUT DON'T MAKE HIM CARRY HIM! Lean on him a little, while you learn to walk.
WHAT?
You don't have a reason too?
You can't live without your mother?
Yes, you do have a reason too, otherwise, you wouldn't want to share your life with a woman.
You can remember all of those things. Have your mother or that female friend REMIND YOU, learn how to make the appointments. Start with remembering to take your medication. Get a digital watch with multiple alarms (I think Casio still makes one of those models) and every time it goes off, what the alarm is for scrolls across the screen. Program it.
There's step one.
learn to make your own appointments. When you make them, input them into your watch.
There is step two.
If mentally handicapped people with functional IQ's of 80 can learn to live on thier own, then you can too.
You're just having a loooong pity party, and have made excuses not to.
Put down the bottle. Your problems are still going to be there when you sober up. Take it from me, it doesn't solve jack, it just makes it so you don't care.
You can do it.
Stop saying you can't.
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