EP IV - Something that occurred to me

[Fenros]

Rel wrote:

Well, that was sort of my whole joke there, wasn't it? *Tap-Tap* Is this thing on?

Woops, sorry Rel, I didn't get that the first time I read your response. Maybe I gotta move my seat closer to the stage where I can hear better.

DocMoriartty wrote:

Also I would like to point out that at no time do you see a stormtrooper running around or down with arrows stuck in their armor.

Actually when Han and his rebel commandoes get captured and are walked out of the compound, the ewoks first attack with a hail of arrows. A biker scout in the foreground gets an arrow stuck in him. In his back armor no less.

The only time you actually see ewoks taking down stormtroopers directly they were using long clubs weighted with rocks. If you get hit like that the type of helmet won't matter, simple physics will guaruntee it will hurt.

I disagree. I've gotten hit in the head with a huge solid rock once, but I was wearing a motorcycle helmet and it didn't hurt me at all. If the Stormtrooper armor is like as thin as styrene, then I agree. But if it offers about the same protection as maybe rollerblading pads, then I don't agree.

Jack Haggerty wrote:

They did manage to kill aat least one of them... Watch closely, and you'll see a sappy scene of some Ewok shmuck pining over his fallen comrade.

Heh heh, I actually don't need to watch that closely to see it. Its a pretty obvious scene. But I know what yah mean.

Actually, I think that was a AT-ST that fired the shot that killed that one Ewok and not a Stormtrooper. So our theory still holds eh?

 

[Shadowdancer]

I guess the battle of Hoth is the closest we come to seeing them live the dream in the recruitment posters.

Be one of the Many. The Embarrassed. The Stormtroopers.

 

[Victim]

My theory is that, once upon a time, Stormtroopers were bad asses. Then the empire conquers everything. Military budgets are cut. The Empire stops ordering stormtroopers cloned and trained by the weird people in Ep 2. Instead, they involve some defense contractors. Next thing you know, the entire Imperial Army, from the trooper to the armor is built by the lowest bidder. Ouch, that's no good. But they don't need an elite army anymore.

Enter the Rebellion. Still using generic stormtroopers. Of course, the Empire spends all its money making Death Stars instead buying quality guys. See movies 4 - 6 for the results.

"An entire Legion of my best troops."-Emperor Palpatine
An entire legion at Endor? I think not. Instead, the experienced veterans leave for vacations, leaving the green recruits there to defend the shield generator. These inexperienced stormtroopers are unused to combat or Endor, and are thus taken by surprise and nearly wiped out by (whimper) teddy bears.

 

[Jack Haggerty]

My theory is that, once upon a time, Stormtroopers were bad asses. Then the empire conquers everything. Military budgets are cut. The Empire stops ordering stormtroopers cloned and trained by the weird people in Ep 2. Instead, they involve some defense contractors. Next thing you know, the entire Imperial Army, from the trooper to the armor is built by the lowest bidder. Ouch, that's no good. But they don't need an elite army anymore.

Enter the Rebellion. Still using generic stormtroopers. Of course, the Empire spends all its money making Death Stars instead buying quality guys. See movies 4 - 6 for the results.

Sounds like the US military of the 80s and 90s...

Anyway, I tend to use a similar justification in my games. When the stormtroopers were fisrt put together, they kicked ass and took names. Everyone feared them. Now, they're pretty mediocre shock troops, and they get by on the reputation of their predecessors.

I fancy playing an early Imperial game, in which the 'Troopers are all Soldier class, instead of Thugs.

 

[Villano]

My theory is that, once upon a time, Stormtroopers were bad asses. Then the empire conquers everything. Military budgets are cut. The Empire stops ordering stormtroopers cloned and trained by the weird people in Ep 2. Instead, they involve some defense contractors. Next thing you know, the entire Imperial Army, from the trooper to the armor is built by the lowest bidder. Ouch, that's no good. But they don't need an elite army anymore.

Nah. I think what happened was that the Empire got cocky. They figured that they had an endless supply of troops, so they started sending them out left and right, depleting their clone reserves.

Now, after years of this, they run out of original genetic material (I mean, how much could they take from one guy, really?). So, what do you do after that? Make clones of your clones, of course! This leads to the inferior quality of the stormtroopers in 3-6; the clones are copies of copies of copies. Have you ever taken a photocopies of photocopies? Ater a while the image becomes degraded.

Mark my words, under their helmets, stormtroopers have 3 eyes and a little arm growing out of their foreheads.

 

[333 Dave]

...copies of copies of copies. Have you ever taken a photocopies of photocopies?

LOL! That reminds me of an SNL sketch I've seen! President Bush is giving an adress explaining the outcome of his negotiations with China (over the spyplane they captured) and he's saying "The plane will be returned ause: right after the Chinese take it apart and make detailed plans of it. They will not be allowed to share these plans, however, sharing of photocopies is allowed. Also, the sharing of photocopies of photocopies are allowed, provided they are legible. However, under no circumstances will sharing of photocopies of photocopies of photocopies be allowed. I fought hord for that one." Or something like that. That was a great sketch.

 

[jasper]

foolish sidekicks and wanna be authors. You must understand. All your troops must first pass the Jasper Sharpshooter Class or JSC
At JSC we train your high quality troops for pennies a day. For only $1 a day your troopers will get a luxury meal ( we give change and pt to coke and snack machine). We teach them how to id heroes, side kicks from extras. Ex. heros never wear helms which hide their face. Side kick may look like heroes but are generally given worst lines and less face time.
Hero move faster than the average person so we teach your troopers to lead the hero more than normal.
Yes JSC quantity training at non quality price.



ps you gets what you pay for....

 

[Henry]

A friend of mine has an even better answer:

Storm trooper armor is built by a race of insectoid technologists that love to eat human flesh. They won the Imperial defense contract, as well as the battlesite cleanup contracts. They designed stormtooper armor to absorb the energy from the balster bolts and thoroughly cook the human inside the armor. Afterwards, they clean the battlefield for the Empire, and unbeknownst to the Empire, they take the bodies home, peel, and eat.

Kind of like the "boil in bag" concept.