Ever had that one player who's just on a different wavelength?

[Tar Markvar]

Slightly off-topic, but I need advice

This isn't going to help the original poster out much (sorry man), but I have an odd situation of my own, and this thread might be the place to seek advice.

My problem comes from an odd dichotomy I've discovered with my friend. It seems like whenever we're doing an "RP" segment in the game, he doesn't seem interested. He comes up with crazy ideas that sorta make sense but are pretty much impossible and would utterly derail my planned adventure for the night, and then gets bored when he feels I'm going against him. For example, the captain of the starship they were using for travel announced that he was going to ditch them on their home planet so he could finally go do his own thing, and when the player decided to try to convince the captain to sell the ship to them, the player got upset when the captain was unwilling to do so, and said he felt "railroaded." When confronted about his boredom (he actually got out his laptop and put on headphones in the middle of the game), he asked if there was any hacking or slashing coming up, and could we just teleport to that.

But he also makes snide comments about how all we do is loot dungeons. Sunday's game was basically there to get these Kalamar natives a starship of their own, as there was a wreckage on their planet that had been fixed and researched by a hive of formians. Their old starship captain was a gruff dwarven resistance guy who got sorta railroaded into helping them, and he wanted to finally go off and do his own thing. Taking over his ship without killing him was simply not an option, and killing him would lose them the favor of his crew. That was certainly an option, but the evening's gaming would have ended there, as I had no material for that eventuality.

Anyway, long story short, he complains when RP doesn't go his way, and he asks for hack-n-slash, but he also complains that all we do is hack-n-slash. He also has different expectations of us when he runs the game, but that's another story.

What do I do? How do I appease him here? I'm drawing blanks. I want the game to be fun for everyone, not just him, and not just the others who are already enjoying it.

As for the original poster's problem, it sounds a little bit like another member of our group, who enjoys the hacking and killing, but not the rest of the game. I just let her do her thing, and as long as it doesn't disrupt the rest of the group, it's fine. As long as she's having fun, that's all that matters to me.

 

[Default Name Player]

Tar - Does your friend act like that ALL of the time, or just a session or two? People can have bad days, and accidentily bring it into the game.

However, if he acts like that alot, then he's pretty much being a jerk, esp the part where he whips out the laptop and puts on earphones...that's just plain disrespectful to EVERYONE in the game. If you want to keep him in your game, I suggest taking him aside and talking to him.

In addition, you should tell him that the laptop/earphones stunt was just plain rude. Since it seems that he GM's as wll, ask if how he'd feel if one of you did the same?

However, I don't suggest going out of your way to appease him , because you'll only be rewarding bad behavior.

 

[Henry]

For Force User:

I also sgree that you might want to try some role-play opportunities in other places than trap checks or such. You will need to introduce it gradually, and find out just how much Role-play opportunities this player is comfortable with. Though you may have know her for a while, it sounds like either (A) territory she is unfamiliar with, or (B) territory she is uncomfortable with. If someone is shy about roleplaying a separate character, no amount of force will change that. it has to be a gradual change, and encouragement to avenues that the player likes. Is the player interested in certain things? Arts and crafts? basket-weaving? Banking? Archaic weapons of the 17th century? Give her an in-game chance to do something that affects an interest like this - such as recovering a stolen painting and finding a fake, or starting a business, or recovering an ancient weapon with a unique property.

For Tar Makvar:

Your player may feel you are railroading the plot. Some players are more comfortable with the group finding their own way, and having the DM come up with challenges along the way. Other groups just want the DM to introduce the next challenge, and don't want to think about how to get from point A to point B. If all else fails, just STOP. Have a pre-game chat with your players. Find out if the game is going in directions they like. Take a poll, with specific questions!

Don't just ask "Do you like the way the game is going?" Ask them things like:

"What direction do you see your character going in?"

"What kinds of environments would you like adventuring in?"

"Are there the right proportions of problem-solving, interaction, and combat in the game for you?"

"Do you see your character putting down some roots to touch base on from time to time, or so you still like being Kane the Wanderer from Kung-Fu?"

In other words, if the player expresses disinterest in a game, find out what he REALLY wants to do. Sometimes asking specific questions about these things will give you a better clue, and will also sometimes surprise you. Perhaps there is more than one dissatisfied player, and they have been unwilling to speak up? It wouldn't be the first time it happened in a game.

 

[Tar Markvar]

I've spoken with him and with others in the group about where I was considering taking the game, and most agree that it's a good idea. It's just a matter of specific instances.

He's generally been vocally pro-role-playing and yet actively pro-munchkinry as far back as I've known him. He's one of those gamers who look for loopholes and use them to get power for his character. Which is fine if that's how he wants to play, but don't get all indignant about role-playing purity when you do that.

The thing is, the capt. of the ship they were using to travel from adventure to adventure never liked them, and only tolerated them because he saw them bringing tons of loot onto his ship. Now he has his own stuff to do, and he decided to let them go. They never asked him if they could come aboard; they were placed there by conditions outside of their or the cap'n's control, and now he wants them gone. He's an important fixture in the dwarven resistance in the Dragon Empire, and he has things to do.

So the reaction was, "We need a ship." My adventure that night was made specifically to provide them with one, after a gripping siege of a formian hive. This player decided that he needed to buy or capture the cap'n's ship, though, and I suddenly had a player that didn't want to take "no" for an answer.

"We offer to buy the ship from him." No, it's his ship, and it's his way of life, and his crew, and he says it's not for sale. "We make a deal for him to continue being taxi-pet." No, that's what he's been doing all along, and he doesn't want to do that anymore. "We threaten him." Well, fine, but then you end up stranded on THIS planet, instead of your home planet, where the ship had planned to drop you off. And if you kill him, his crew hates you, and you'll be crewless and in possession of a mid-sized freighter. And since you're Kalamar natives, you have no mechanist, piloting, or navigation skill, so you're screwed.

But, "I don't like being railroaded."

To me, these things made sense. The grizzled veteran ship captain doesn't want to sell his ship, or play taxi-fool for you anymore, and threatening him leaves you crewless. Is that railroading?

Besides, at the end of the evening's adventure, the group had routed a formian colony, unearthed a decades-lost wreckage that the formians had restored to a working starship (which the PCs now own), and they had met Fharlanghan, who had given them hints to the location of the wreckage, met them in the slave quarters when they got there, and offered to help them in their travels as long as they help the other natives of Tellene eventually toward space-travel themselves. I thought it was great, but to him it was hack-n-slash, and he seemed like he was watching his mother die when the god of travel showed up.

He's a great friend, and honestly, I game there to hang out with him. I just want to find a way to get him involved without having to dangle carrots in his face whenever he gets out the headphones.

 

[Klaatu B. Nikto]

Re: Re: Ever had that one player who's just on a different wavelength?

Consider leaving D&D alone for a while, and playing another game. Not fantasy; you've done that to death. SF, horror, World of Darkness, etc. There are lots of genres out there.

When you mention this, I'm reminded of a Knights of the Dinner Table strip. The group is starting to get bored of the same ol' Hackmaster +12, "Fireballs coming online BA", etc. sooooo... they switch to a sci fi game sorta like Warhammer 40K I think.

Anyways, the GM sighed as he was hearing the same basic stuff all over again as in "Proton torpedos locked n loaded BA." etc.


Klaatu

 

[ForceUser]

Thanks for the opinions. That was sort of a reality check; I guess you don't have to roleplay everything. I just like roleplaying the little details to keep them from going stale. It makes the game more interesting for me, as DM. No, I wouldn't have imposed any circumstance modifiers based on the player's actual knowledge of such things. It's more for roleplaying....flavor. I like to see the players interested enough that they describe what their characters are doing without prodding. I like to think of my campaigns as novels that the group are writing together.

As for this player's interests, hrm. That's a tough one. She's the wife of another longtime player, and outside of D&D we rarely socialize. Not the kind of gal you can go have a beer with, you know? I know she likes flowers, scented candles, knick-knacks and, um, chick flicks. Feel free to offer up any cool story ideas related to candle wicks, tulips, or Ben Affleck

Tar: I would not tolerate a player pulling out a walkman at the table. That guy would pay attention, or he would be gone - friend or not. But I do understand that as DM, you want your friends to have a good time! As DM, you work hard so that your friends can have a good time and Do Cool Things (tm). That's why I wouldn't tolerate such behavior; it's damn rude. I bet it hurt your feelings a little too, didn't it, after all the work you'd put into the adventure?

 

[el-remmen]

Kick `em out
Kick `em out
Kick `em out

Simple.

If you talk to them, try different approaches and tried to follow up on any suggestions they might have and they are still ruining your (or others) enjoyment of the game - you have done all a person can be reasonabley expected to do.

It will never change.

Kick `em out.

 

[Tar Markvar]

To ForceUser:

It hurt a lot. At one point, I just looked at him and said, "Look, do you want to stop playing? Because you're obviously bored, and we can just pack up and go." He said that yes, he was bored, and that he felt railroaded, and he wondered if things were going to "get somewhere." He suggested I "teleport them to the action," and I did just about that, essentially removing any flavor and setting cohesion from the adventure. It was, "You guys end up on your planet, walk through the woods, and find a huge hill with a hole in it. You go inside and see formians. What do you do?"

I was pissed and insulted, but what do I do? I came to this guy's house, drove roughly an hour, to play a game that I'd put some work into. Once the "action" started, he seemed pretty into it, I suppose.

 

[ForceUser]

Ahh, there's the rub. Long drive. His house.

That sucks man. I'd consider the possibility of relocating your game and kicking him out of the group. If neither of those things are options for you, honestly, my best advice is to stop DMing that group.

Let's break it down. You want everyone to have fun, but you need to have fun too. It's important that the DM, of all people, have fun. Otherwise, what's the point of putting all that work into the game if a player's just going to urinate on it week after week? If your buddy is not having fun, suggest that maybe your game isn't what he's looking for. Tell him that it's no big deal if he wants to quit the group; you'll understand. Then pack the rest of your group the hell up, relocate, and get your game on somewhere else.

You could also try playing other games with him. Instead of D&D, maybe he'd enjoy some Chainmail or Warhammer 40K. I'd like to say he sounds like a wargamer, but the truth is he just sounds like a jerk. You don't deserve to be treated like that by a player, and especially not by a friend. Friends are supposed to respect each other. That includes paying attention when you're trying to run the game, and saving negative comments until after the session. If he's really not enjoying himself, though, he needs to quit.

 

[Tar Markvar]

Well, we do play other games. We alternate D&D with something else about every other week. I'm actually thinking of trying Nobilis with this group, oddly enough.

Thanks for the advice and all. It's good to pour this stuff out from time to time.