Expectations/gamer courtesy

[werk]

I've been playing for a long time, and one of the first things that I was taught was that it was my duty, as a player, to bring snacks/drinks for myself if not enough to share with the whole group. We jokingly called them DM bribes, and everyone contributed.

I continued this into my second, third, fourth groups, and when I became a DM I made it a point to have drinks/snacks extra to cover any impoverished players (you know you're out there). It was fairly common with my last group that we would have too much soda for the fridge to hold because everyone brought a pack or two...so nice that I've probably taken this for granted.

My new group doesn't bring anything. NOTHING! A few of the players are pretty experienced gamers, and we're all definitely adults. I mean, most of the players bring no books or dice, relying completely on my generosity for everything they need to be entertained for a period of time. (This is a bit of an exaggeration, I have one player that usually brings one snack for himself, like dried fruit or a sandwich, that he then shares because no one else brought anything, and a new player that does bring dice/books.) I still feel obligated to get a pack of soda and a couple bags of snack, but am starting to resent it.

So my questions are:
Is it common courtesy to bring supplies/snacks when you game? (friendly gaming at a DM's house, not tournament or game-store play with strangers or anything like that.)
Any suggestions for addressing this with my players?

 

[diaglo]

have your wife bake a dozen muffins for the group.

 

[Thornir Alekeg]

Talk to them about it. Ask them to either bring something, chip in for what others bring, or don't partake of what others bring. If they actually have a problem with this, they would not be the sort of people I would want to game with anyway.

 

[Mystery Man]

We always arrange beforehand who's bringing what and if someone is going to be picking up something for everyone like food and we all make sure that person is properly reimbursed. We also make sure that one players knows that it is his turn to bring the refreshments. If no one will participate next time, only bring what you need for yourself and see how long it takes for the others to get a clue.

 

[kenobi65]

have your wife bake a dozen muffins for the group.

ROFL. That only works in Germany, based on what I've read on this board.

 

[Crothian]

We don't bring anything usually, but the guiy who hosts it does supply soda. We aren't much of snackers but we do order dinner when we game so that might replace it.

If you want people to share in the snack duties I'd just talk to them. In ages past I've had groups like that were each week we'd roate who brings things.

 

[werk]

So it's not an unspoken rule as I had thought...

 

[Crothian]

So it's not an unspoken rule as I had thought...

Not for everyone. But really most unspoken rules don't apply to all groups anyway.

 

[freebfrost]

I think this is one of those things that can vary greatly from group to group. One of my groups is mostly in this category - everyone typically brings their own food and/or snacks (if any), although I've been trying to induce some more of the sharing mentality.

The group that I DM usually has lunch, snacks, and drinks provided by me. Typically all the players toss in some money as they can afford to, and I make up the rest. I figure a typical game day costs me about $30 in food, and I usually get about $20 or so from the group, so it's not a terrible burden.

In either case, it really comes back to what the original expectation are of groups. I can clearly tell that my playing group comes from gaming backgrounds where that kind of sharing is not commonplace, while I can guarantee that the groups I DM have that expectation.

I would talk to the group about it and see what they want to do.

 

[Mystery Man]

So it's not an unspoken rule as I had thought...

What's unspoken right now it seems is that it's assumed that you're always going to bring the stuff and everyone uses your books, since you always do. I'd kill that assumption.