The word is cannibal and yes that is what I’m suggesting. As for the fat lady, in my defense she was mostly fat in the front and the belly – in a man it would have been a beer belly.
Faux pas - putting your worst foot forward
- Thread starter The Shaman
- Start date
The Shaman
First Post
Rel said:
We have clear shower doors and my sister-in-law is a major hawttie....
Queen_Dopplepopolis
First Post
Great thread! 
Keeping me entertained on this endlessly long Monday.
I don't think I've ever had any major faux pas. I once had a 19 year old girl ask me to explain what exactly a "hand job" was, which was really her faux pas and just uncomfortable for me... and when I was 16 I accidentally farted while attempting to flirt with a guy that I very desperately wanted to be my boyfriend. And he had to point it out (Hey Liz, did you just fart?) I turn red just thinking about that!
Well - maybe this one is sort of major, but it's the mystery that makes it major. Once upon a time, when The Universe and I had just started dating, he and I were making out in the hot tub at his parents house... well... things progressed and all of a sudden his Dad is standing near the hot tub and says, "What's going on out here?!"
He then laughs and walks away... to this day, I tell myself he didn't actually see anything thanks to the hot tub bubbles... but I don't really know... *turns red*
Keeping me entertained on this endlessly long Monday.
I don't think I've ever had any major faux pas. I once had a 19 year old girl ask me to explain what exactly a "hand job" was, which was really her faux pas and just uncomfortable for me... and when I was 16 I accidentally farted while attempting to flirt with a guy that I very desperately wanted to be my boyfriend. And he had to point it out (Hey Liz, did you just fart?) I turn red just thinking about that!
Well - maybe this one is sort of major, but it's the mystery that makes it major. Once upon a time, when The Universe and I had just started dating, he and I were making out in the hot tub at his parents house... well... things progressed and all of a sudden his Dad is standing near the hot tub and says, "What's going on out here?!"
He then laughs and walks away... to this day, I tell myself he didn't actually see anything thanks to the hot tub bubbles... but I don't really know... *turns red*
The_Universe
First Post
Coming back from lunch late one day at a previous job, I loudly commented to my laughing co workers that it would be just like my paranoid, Big-Brother-like boss to be sitting in one of our cubicles, tapping his feet impatiently, waiting for us.
He was in mine, and he heard me.
He was in mine, and he heard me.
Rel
Liquid Awesome
I won't go into all the gory details, but I'll just say that if you are at a party and (loudly) end a reference to a television show with the sentence, "Them lesbians is EVERYWHERE these days!", the probability approaches certainty that there is an actual, real-live lesbian right there in the room with you (which I think rather proves the point). The good news is that, while the hostess of the party was mortified, the lesbian was pretty cool about it. I even helped her carry her pumpkin to the car.
Despite any wild fantasies I might have, that last sentence is not a euphimism for anything dirty. Unfortunately.
Despite any wild fantasies I might have, that last sentence is not a euphimism for anything dirty. Unfortunately.
Queen_Dopplepopolis
First Post
Rel said:
*swipe* From this day forward, "carrying a pumpkin to the car" shall be my favorite euphimism for sex!
Belen
Legend
The Shaman said:
We have clear shower doors and my sister-in-law is a major hawttie....
No worries then. Just compliment her and continue on with the day.
Actually, my boss once walked in on me while I was using the bathroom. None of us knew that the lock was no longer working.
In an office of 4 people, the silence was deafening for the rest of that day.
And yes, I was the only male working there at the time.
The_Universe
First Post
Another:
Relatively early in my courtship of my wife (Queen Dopplepopolis to you), we were making out on her bed. As things progressed around the bases (stand up double!) and the necking continued, my nose started bleeding (it does that alot). I didn't notice at first, so it got everywhere. EVERYWHERE.
I ruined one of her favorite shirts!
Fortunately, she decided to keep seeing me.
Now, I just tell her if she'd just gotten rid of the shirt sooner it wouldn't have been a problem.
Relatively early in my courtship of my wife (Queen Dopplepopolis to you), we were making out on her bed. As things progressed around the bases (stand up double!) and the necking continued, my nose started bleeding (it does that alot). I didn't notice at first, so it got everywhere. EVERYWHERE.
I ruined one of her favorite shirts!
Fortunately, she decided to keep seeing me. Now, I just tell her if she'd just gotten rid of the shirt sooner it wouldn't have been a problem.
Belen
Legend
The_Universe said:Another:
Relatively early in my courtship of my wife (Queen Dopplepopolis to you), we were making out on her bed. As things progressed around the bases (stand up double!) and the necking continued, my nose started bleeding (it does that alot). I didn't notice at first, so it got everywhere. EVERYWHERE.
I ruined one of her favorite shirts!
Now, I just tell her if she'd just gotten rid of the shirt sooner it wouldn't have been a problem.
How is it that I keep hearing about sexual escapades between ENWorlders and their significant others? I think that there is a line (way over that way) that was crossed a long time ago. I blame Rel. It is definitely his fault.
Next thing we know, we're going to have Driddle start discussing strip D&D.
Oh..wait...
