Favorite Fantasy Race: Dwarves, Hobbits or Elves?

[Hairfoot]

WHY DO PEOPLE NOT TAKE ME SERIOUSLY???/

Australian.

 

[The Human Target]

T'lan Imass

Or Vampires

or Scabmettlers

or Mind Flayers



A lot of things come to mind before elves, dwarves, and hobbitses.

 

[Kae'Yoss]

Out of the stereotypes presented, I prefer elves. Second is none, and so is third throguh tenth or so. Then the hobbits show up, and around 2000, it's dwarves. Behind things-with-more-than-a-dozen-templates, a rock that is just played as a rock, and Michael Jackson.

Hobbits are far too unadventury for my tastes. If you must be an exceptional hobbit just to like climbing trees more than sitting around watching the sun wander across the sky, what would an actual hero have to be? I think after Bilbo, Frodo, Sam, Merry and Pippin, the well of hobbit heroes has run dry.

Halflings would fare somewhat better.

Dwarves? Bearded, metal-loving, greedy, hard-drinking, rude and xenophobic. That describes about 90% of the dwarves I've ever seen played or read about in novels or seen in movies (and most of the rest likes to sing Hi ho and lives in a flat share with 6 other dwarves and a pretty lass who once ate a poisoned apple). They fight with an axe, they get into tavern brawls, and they drink themselves silly. I get it. The only difference between dwarves is the order in which they do these things.


But take an elf. There's variety. We have brooding elves. We have aloof elves. We have arrogant ones. We have nice ones. We have adventurous ones. We have very xenophobic ones. And if it comes to villains, no race makes a better villain than elves. Just read Terry Pratchett's Lords and Ladies and you'll see that Evil has pointy ears!

Seriously, I've seen people play unbearable elves. But they weren't nearly as many as the unbearable dwarves I've seen, which were nearly all of them. There was one overmunchkinised 3.5e dwarven fighter/barbarian with dwarven waraxes that makes me shudder whenever I think about it.

*shudder*

There, again!

 

[The Cardinal]

T'lan Imass
Thelomen Toblakai
Seguleh

 

[Corinth]

Dwarves are what most men aspire to be in real life, and what American culture tells boys that men ought to be, hence their popularity.

 

[The Merciful]

Dwarves are what most men aspire to be in real life, and what American culture tells boys that men ought to be, hence their popularity.

I tought dwarves are essentially fantasy red necks (or was that what you were implying? )

Of the choises presented I would most like to be an elf. I might actually get lad once in a while.

 

[Aus_Snow]

Of the choises presented I would most like to be an elf. I might actually get lad once in a while.

Oh, I imagine you'd get lad more frequently than that, if you wanted some.

 

[Kae'Yoss]

Dwarves are what most men aspire to be in real life

Greedy alcoholics and social cripples who are of short stature and like hairy women?

Either I'm an exceptional case or you need to get your priorities straight.

and what American culture tells boys that men ought to be, hence their popularity

And that's what's really wrong with the United States!

 

[Merkuri]

Dwarves are what most men aspire to be in real life

Greedy alcoholics and social cripples who are of short stature and like hairy women?

I think he meant rich and drunk.

Probably also hairy and "masculine" (which I think includes hairy, drunk, strong, and strong-smelling).

 

[Kae'Yoss]

I think he meant rich and drunk.

Probably also hairy and "masculine" (which I think includes hairy, drunk, strong, and strong-smelling).

It's all an excuse to let oneself go. Go shave yourself and have a bath you sluggards!


I think that's the real appeal of elves: Having women that are completely hairless (except the hair on the head, of course) and never having to shave again.