"Feedback wanted" - what are you asking for?

[Balgus]

This is to all the DMs and players out there who has ever heard the phrase "Feedback is highly appreciated." What do you think your DM (if player) wants to hear when he says this, and as a DM, what are you lookign for when you say that?

My last DM would always ask us for feedback, and after every session, he would say, "Well? What do you think? Feedback?" At first, we would tell him he did a good job and the session went smoothly.

But after a while, I started to tell him what I REALLY felt- and that was the game revolved too heavily around fighting and the storyline is a little thin. That the only plot hook he ever comes up with is when a random guy comes up to us and offers 10K gp for us to retrieve an item, and we fight the rest of the day.

Later, I would tell him specifics like "It was uncalled for how you used the smackdown characters to kill off a PC"- he used an invisible guy who was loaded with power crit, rage and super charged him with all the goodies that powered him up for one hit-keen, impr scythe- and left him for dead after that first hit. His AC was a measly 13, and he had 100 HP- at level 13.

After 3 sessions or so, he emailed me and told me that he did not appreciate me criticising his DMing method. And called me a Whynee B*tch.

I quit his games shortly thereafter.

So my question to you- What are you really looking for when you ask for feedback? Are you really asking for criticism? Praise? or just want to hear that you are doiing a good job? to justify your time as DM.

 

[BiggusGeekus@Work]

Honestly?

I want a couple things that the critiquer likes and a couple they don't. If I hear "it's all good", I'm left wondering if the person is just trying to spare my feelings. If I hear, "it all sucks", I'm left wondering if the critiquer is being petty(*).

-BG


* Yes, I confess to a degree of ego when it comes to my stuff. I think I do some things pretty well.

edit: But I have encountered many occasions when someone requested feedback and really just wanted to hear nothing other than postitive things. But that's just people being people. Nothing you can do, so don't worry about it.

 

[Emiricol]

Most DMs want to hear how they can improve their game. That's not quite the same thing as telling them what they are doing wrong Its all in the delivery.

In the specific case you mentioned, I'd have left too. No DM has the right to call a player names, and if he asked for feedback without telling you how he wanted to hear it, that's his fault.

If he didn't tell you the first time it happened that what he wanted was improvements not criticizms, that's his fault. (sounds like he let it eat at him then over-reacted instead of dealing with the underlying problem up front.)

By the same token, since you were the one offering input, it was to some extent on you to put it in a constructive way.

So, ultimately, I'm saying this sounds like either of you, but especially he, could have handled it differently. Unfortunately, I personally could not forgive such an insult from a gaming partner, but if YOU can, then talk to your DM and explain all that. He might surprise you...

 

[Balgus]

Well, at first, I gave constructive criticism. but time and time again, he ignored them, saying "I am doing it by the rules."

Like Harm, as written is themost powerful lvl4 spell in the world. And he would use it on my Barb every day- effectively taking me out of the game. I asked him to either put in a save, or make a lvl higher. He refused.

And then came the intimidate checks. being a 1/2 orc barb, my cha was at a 9. and i had other skills that were more important to him than intimidate. But I rolled a 17 once (-1 modifier) and he still ruled that I could not intimidate a commoner for information. He said, "you let out a wimpy rrroooaarr... "

And so it was a one way street for about three weeks (one session a week) until he finally responded with a "STOP criticising me!!"

 

[Arnwyn]

As a DM, I would want feedback exactly as you mentioned (in your first post, not your second).

However, due to me only having one side of the story here, I don't know whether that particular DM was an oversensitive wack-job, or you were an unrelenting whiner. *shrug*

I know that if a player told me "that was the game revolved too heavily around fighting and the storyline is a little thin. That the only plot hook he ever comes up with is when a random guy comes up to us and offers 10K gp for us to retrieve an item, and we fight the rest of the day" - I would be very pleased to get this information, and make the appropriate adjustment.

On the flip side, if a player whined "to either put in a save, or make a lvl higher" the Harm spell, I'd tell him/her to stuff it. (Well, that's a bit of an exaggeration, of course. The situation, character levels, adventure, etc would play a bit of a role, of course.)

You certainly seem bitter. What I, as a DM, am looking for is exactly what you mentioned in your first post. However, as Emiricol mentioned above - it's all in the delivery.

 

[the Jester]

I want honest feedback- what worked, what didn't, what the players especially enjoyed or hated.

But I also really want it to be civil and nice on everyone's part; it's all part of the game, and the point is to have fun.

 

[shilsen]

Coincidentally, I asked my students for feedback today, and I want essentially the same thing from my players: I want to know what they think worked well (& why), what they thought went badly (& why), & suggestions for improving the game. Simple. The fact that nothing bugs me makes it easier for me to take criticism, so manner of delivery doesn't matter all that much.

 

[Sanackranib]

feedback

basically i'm looking to see if the player feels that his character is achieving his goals. I DM a player driven game and I like to be sure that the players feel that what is inportent to them is being adquately addressed.

 

[alsih2o]

just to be a little smoother about it, did you point out what he ws doing right as well?

i hate to see friendships end over games, i see them as relationship boosters or introducers. try and work it out.

 

[Balgus]

alsih2o:
just to be a little smoother about it, did you point out what he ws doing right as well?
i hate to see friendships end over games, i see them as relationship boosters or introducers. try and work it out

At first, I would. But after a while, It did not seem like he was taking anyof my suggestions seriously. ANd everything that I said that did not include "i enjoyed it" went right through his head.

And so after a while- I started to tell him that I don't feel as if he is taking my feedback seriously. I told him that the game should include more than just kill- money - kill- loot- kill... that every player has a back story they would like adressed.

When I finally voiced that he was killing us just because he CAN, he took it personally. (and he admitted it when he blurted out, "Damn, only 192! I can never make it above 200!!") basically admitting that he was just trying to make it into "Sultans of Smack!" And plus, what DM would deal that much damage in a single hit- with no save or any other method of avoiding it...

And things went downhill from there.

I think he is still bitter that I told him that I don't enjoy his DMing style, and so would not like to play anymore. He called a game this past month and did not invite me to play. I learned this through a mutual friend. No sweat off my back- I am joining another group soon.