Funny Quotes for the Cannon Fodder?

[Shroomy]

"I can't believe that after 25 winters, I'm finally retiring from the Watch tomorrow...me and the little lady have bought a boat, and come tomorrow, we sail off into the sunset sipping Mai Tai's. Here, take a look at this woodcut, ain't she a beaut'?....Arrrgh......"

 

[Noumenon]

"Not in the face! Not in the face!"

I really love this one. Especially since all the soldier tokens I'm using have the exact same face.

"I'm okay!"

WHOMP!

(feebly) "I'm still okay!"

This will be great for that time when the ogre inexplicably rolls a 1 on his first attack and I know he's going to hit on the second one.

"I can't believe that after 25 winters, I'm finally retiring from the Watch tomorrow...me and the little lady have bought a boat, and come tomorrow, we sail off into the sunset sipping Mai Tai's. Here, take a look at this woodcut, ain't she a beaut'?....Arrrgh......"

If they end up using any stealth at all this is a conversation they are going to overhear.

You may have already thought of this but encourage the players to be silly: punting humans like footballs, using them as weapons, using them as puppets after they're dead.

Puppets -- LOL. I know my players will do their part as far as humor goes -- the first thing that popped into one of their minds was doing Lenny from Of Mice and Men for a "she loves me; she loves me not" routine.

Actually, an invisible ogre mage trying to gain entrance to a fortress by walking an unconscious river warden up to the front gate like a puppet is a pretty good tactic! The dialogue at the gate would be hilarious.

 

[Silvercat Moonpaw]

Actually, an invisible ogre mage trying to gain entrance to a fortress by walking an unconscious river warden up to the front gate like a puppet is a pretty good tactic! The dialogue at the gate would be hilarious.

Dialogue:
"Sir……………your arm just popped off………"

"It's just a fleshwound."

"My god………y-you're…………dead—"

"Ah'm not dead."

 

[Man in the Funny Hat]

DEAD PERSON: I'm not dead!
MORTICIAN: What?
CUSTOMER: Nothing -- here's your nine pence.
DEAD PERSON: I'm not dead!
MORTICIAN: Here -- he says he's not dead!
CUSTOMER: Yes, he is.
DEAD PERSON: I'm not!
MORTICIAN: He isn't.
CUSTOMER: Well, he will be soon, he's very ill.
DEAD PERSON: I'm getting better!
CUSTOMER: No, you're not -- you'll be stone dead in a moment.
MORTICIAN: Oh, I can't take him like that -- it's against regulations.
DEAD PERSON: I don't want to go in the cart!
CUSTOMER: Oh, don't be such a baby.
MORTICIAN: I can't take him...
DEAD PERSON: I feel fine!
CUSTOMER: Oh, do us a favor...
MORTICIAN: I can't.
CUSTOMER: Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes? He won't
be long.
MORTICIAN: Naaah, I got to go on to Robinson's -- they've lost nine
today.
CUSTOMER: Well, when is your next round?
MORTICIAN: Thursday.
DEAD PERSON: I think I'll go for a walk.
CUSTOMER: You're not fooling anyone y'know. Look, isn't there
something you can do?
DEAD PERSON: I feel happy... I feel happy.

 

[Minicol]

Quoted from Sacred 2, the video Game :
"Dying within three days of my birthday"
"A Hole in my coat, the wife will Kill Me !"
plenty others in there, sadly the best aspect of the game I think.

 

[wally]

Dying Quote

In one of our most recent games, a character who was dying pointed at one of his friends while saying his last words to another...

"Tell his wife that I loved her!"

We all laughed quite a bit over that one.

-wally

 

[Silvercat Moonpaw]

Just in case, don't forget Monty Python sketches:

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltmMJntSfQI]How Not To Be Seen[/ame]

And [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBIiSZFuqvQ]Self-Defense Against Fresh Fruit[/ame].

 

[Maldor]

whispered in his dieing breath "rosebud"

the 4 year old just flips you the brid as the great axe comes down one last great act of defiance for little jonny.

is that all you got

my daddy can kick your daddy's butt

OH god you got me you killed me so cold it's getting dark closing in hold me so dark so cold. I i see the light i'm coming to meet you brutha.

 

[Dalamar]

If you have somebody who is flanking killed, have the other one say "do I still get the flanking bonus?"

This actually happened in our game, we spent a good couple of minutes just laughing at the player.

 

[Woas]

Can't forget the dying Nazis in Castle Wolfenstein,

"Mein Lieben!"