I mean none of you are playing my system currently, so when someone says, Oh I wouldn't play a game like that....it really isn't that much of a take. I mean, um ok? I have literal decades of people playing my game, having fun and coming back for more. When people come back to your table every week for a decade, you have to be doing something right. Like I have said in the past if you are DnD based, my system may not be for you! That stated, I find it interesting that the immediate go to is that the Dragons are unbeatable. While I would definitely NOT recommend fighting one, pretty much ever, there are those players who have done it, repeatedly. They do so, not by me game balancing them out of existence, rather they made the odds fall in their favour.
Well, to be fair, nobody knows what your system is. They are simply operating off the info you gave us in the OP. That, A, you have your own system, B, that dragons have hundreds if not thousands of HPs in that system, and C, dragon slayers are not a thing because its assuming to be extremely rare for characters in your system to kill them.
Now it has been mentioned that there are alternative ways to deal with a creature of this nature. I favour that idea, but within my game system there are ways to make yourself exceedingly powerful and critical hits are also a thing. Add a well oiled co-operating team, and it can be done. My issue is that for...game balance purposes.... the DnD dragon was down played, terribly. All of the strategies they suggested to make up for it, were easily usable by a powerful wizard and did not stand out as uniquely Draconic in nature.
This sort of helps. Again, you talking about your system isnt helpful, becasue we cant assume what your system does. Folks are not purposely saying your system is good or bad, they are just making assumptions on the info they have. What we can discuss is D&D dragons. I agree with you that give dragons magic spells seems to be a traditional way of making them a challenge. Another aspect of D&D dragons is they are not a static creature. You have many different types, and since the game has a leveling system, you are bound to fight less magical, less big ones on your way to fighting very magical and very big ones. If that lessens the idea of a
dragon for a person its understandable.
Even the HP argument .... doesn't sit well with me, in part I equate mass with HP. So I have 1/4 and 1/2 sized mod creatures in my world as well as commonly 1-10X size mod creatures. This is balanced out with often my encounters are there for a reason, not just milling about waiting for someone to drop by... The worst time to meet a dragon is when you crit fail an encounter roll. No time for planning and caught off guard. Dragons being sentient often like discourse with the players and how they handle the encounter will often determine if they live to see another day.
Wait... a lot to unpack here. We dont know how your system works or even how you are framing this. HPs according to mass is fine, but wasnt mentioned in the OP. If thats your framing, its rather important to the discussion. Which leads to my view about mass = HP. Dragons are not a real thing. Just because its large, doesnt necessarily mean it weighs a lot. When you put magic on the table all bets are off. The dragon could weigh 10 pounds because its
magic. Which is why making fantasy rule sets realistic is such a crapshoot.
I have a sense of balance but it relies more on player investment and story line. Actions have consequences, but players almost always have options, rarely is anything impossible. I find the major difference between DnD's sense of balance and my own, is 2nd ed DnD dictates the answers. All goblins are kinda the same, all 12th lvl fighters are the same and there is a set path or encounter and it is often to be played a certain way. My system in counter, tells you all the ways you can create your own path, or solution. There are less limits on what you can do, and more ways to express your character. And I put few caps on that. Like you wouldn't see a healer and a necromancer multiprof combo typically....but even then I am flexible, and in fact there was a character who was both, and he had multiple personalities. By day he was a healer, by night he was a necromancer.
Again, I cant really say anything about this as its a vague statement on how things work in a system ive never seen. It would help to stop assuming folks have any understanding of your system at all if you are going to "challenge" them.
I also, politely, challenge the notion that players should all be equal. If you want to shine as a character, then do so, why should you be held back? I mean, some people are more comfortable taking less of a front stage, or being responsible for ideas that might go south. I think to a reasonable degree we must factor that people all have different personalities as well. If Player A) wants to spend 30 Hrs leveling up their character and Player be spends 10 minutes before the game, it does not make sense to treat them as equals, rather it makes sense to treat them with respect to the amount of work they put in. Now out of the two players, who do you think is going to take a lead role between these two?
Regardless of personalities and preferences, folks have been playing not just RPGs, but games for a long time. Its pretty common for folks to not enjoy games in which the gulf between abilities and power is massive. Folks often on the extreme ends of these preferences act as if its bad design not to follow tight balance or loose balance. I think there is room for both but the dominat nature of D&D makes it a very contentious topic. Though, relying on personalities as a defense of game design isnt a very sturdy argument in any sense.
Attempting to balance out players can also punish those who are naturally skilled in character design, leadership and problem solving. Now to be fair, I do game with adults. There is less of an ego driven push when it comes to my players. I also will note that my experiences in DnD led to players wanting to play the 1 man army. Players that can do it all. Team work was, just who could help that player reach his goals and that was pretty much it. In my system I encourage role taking, and strategic use of defences spells and attacks.
Lastly I will address the, fools folly. I have never judged myself by the inability of others. Just because you have tried and failed at something, does not make it unachievable, a bad idea nor not worth undertaking. I was also told I could never make my own system, have my own book, have my own copyright, have my own trademark. I mean, that type of opinion, is a dime a dozen. So it carries little weight for me. Now if you explain why, and present something constructive, I am indeed humble enough to listen, but critiques from someone who has never even tried my system only go so far. So, I listen for sound advice, and leave the unhelpful stuff where it is. That video was gold btw lol!
Making a fantasy RPG that is "realistic" is an impossible goal. First, there is no magic in our world in which we can model. Nobody knows how a realistic dragon should be like, so its all "in my head". Second, even in situations we can very much model like a guy swinging a sword at another guy, its going to be interpretive. You are not going to get a majority of gamers to agree its realistic in the end. It might work solidly as a game a mechanic, and it might be very popular, but this isnt a design goal that going to be achievable objectively. Though, I appreciate your attitude of reaching for a goal that everyone thinks is impossible. Folks have been proven wrong before.