Gaming and orgies don't mix

[mhacdebhandia]

Three of the most interesting classes I ever had in college were Anthopology, Sociology of Religion and (perhaps oddly) Astronomy. Not for the subject matter but for the reactions of some students when they were confronted with something that they had never even heard of or considered but was practiced or beleived by at least some group of people elsewhere.

That's one of the reasons why I majored in Studies in Religion. In fact, those of us heavily involved in the department held a trivia night where a bonus round involved people naming the obscure sect with the weirdest practices they could think of.

I picked the Sklotsky sect of Russia, which in retrospect was fairly tame - mandatory self-castration, sex is the root of all evil, big deal. Someone else named an Eastern Christian sect which produced a hierarchy of all living beings from God right down the bottom, which put women just below pigs. The winner, however, was the most senior professor in the department (big surprise), who picked the Eastern European sect which practices enemas as their exclusive means of sexual arousal.

It's true, though; running into people who'd never considered things outside their own faith traditions is always an entertaining and fascinating experience. I especially loved the history of early Christianity course I took which was stuffed full of evangelicals who included phrases like "as we all know from Scripture" in their presentations.

 

[Torm]

I think jealousy in women is very much territorial... and some women have a broader or narrower sense of what their "territory" means. Example - a couple of my girlfriends are HYPER-Christian. THe go so far as to define their "territory" with their significant others as thoughts and dreams: if you think about another woman, you are cheating on her. As such, they become jealous of EVERYTHING - to the point of attempting to monitor and regulate their man's thoughts..

You're kinda making my point - that isn't jealousy, she's afraid.

((Torm - your wife has got to be the most comfortable, confident women on the face of the the planet.))

Not in all things. But she knows she has me, ain't no doubt.

 

[Nebulous]

Why do you assume the sex itself is "kinky" just because the lifestyle is different? Not defensive, just curious.

I'd say that if you've gamed with a few different gaming groups, you've probably gamed with someone who is involved in polyamory - or if they aren't, it is because the opportunity hasn't presented itself. SCA groups tend to draw poly people like moths to a lightbulb, for some reason - strange to me, because I've never really been that interested in it myself. (I think some of the trappings like weapons and clothes are nice, but prefer to "live in the now".) And SCA tends to overlap with RPGing, so..... But most poly people don't even have the tells that gay people have, so you might never know.

Oh, i didn't mean to offend anyone. I was thinking "kinky" as in not practiced by the norm. If 50% of couples practiced threesomes and group sex on a regular basis I guess it would become the norm, and socially acceptable by even your grandma. Then again i don't know how common such practice is, but i never would have thought mixing gaming and sex. I mean, in my mind, they're two totally different things, and one would detract wholly from the other. How can you think rationally about the bugbear breathing down your neck while there's a foot sliding up your crotch?

But maybe it's not that different than dating at the gaming table, which is tremendously common.

 

[devilish]

I often get my hackles up about guys taking
more than they deserve .. aka dating/playing with 3 women at
a time and taking 2 prospects out of the pool. They usually do
it with no interest in committing to them, just getting notches
on the bedpost or just being "whimsically indecisive" as
one cur once told me.

Torm's situation is different as they are looking for commitment and are
serious about it. Rock on Torm!

there's always fomunda.

I can't believe I actually looked this one up. Boz, your
vocabulary is ....unique. I'm going to go ralph now....

 

[BOZ]

You're kinda making my point - that isn't jealousy, she's afraid.

jealousy is a fear-based emotion my friend. someone who does not get jealous either has nothing to lose, or is not afraid of losing it.

 

[BOZ]

I can't believe I actually looked this one up. Boz, your
vocabulary is ....unique. I'm going to go ralph now....

if you don't want to know the answer, do not ask the question.

 

[Torm]

jealousy is a fear-based emotion my friend. someone who does not get jealous either has nothing to lose, or is not afraid of losing it.

Well, yeah - after I posted that I realized it wasn't the best way to say what I was trying to. Let me try again:

Men tend to get what I consider "jealous" - afraid they will lose what they have with little to no data to that end. If a woman joins a book reading club (or whatever), and there is a man there, her husband will get jealous - even if that is completely stupid.

If a man joins a book reading club, and there were women there, his wife won't get jealous unless there is some extra something - like there's a woman there he talks about excessively, or he comes home acting like he has done something wrong, or the old cliche lipstick on the collar. Something that logically makes her feel like the other woman is a threat to what she has. OR, she may get "jealous" if socialization has told her she should be.

 

[Torm]

OR, it is possible that the sample of women that I have been involved with is skewwed somehow - there has been, for instance, an unusually high number of bi or outright lesbian women in my past...

One thing I definitely do know, though, is that the cure for jealousy - even if what you really want to do at the moment is be angry at them for suggesting that they have reason to be jealous - is a hug.

 

[Torm]

Oh, i didn't mean to offend anyone. I was thinking "kinky" as in not practiced by the norm. If 50% of couples practiced threesomes and group sex on a regular basis I guess it would become the norm, and socially acceptable by even your grandma.

[Groucho]You obviously didn't know MY grandma.[/Groucho]

I wasn't offended at all. I just have definitely noticed a trend for people to think we're into all sorts of weird fetish stuff or BDSM or what-not if they find out that we're poly, and I don't get why, so I was asking if that was what you meant.

 

[Darth K'Trava]

[Groucho]You obviously didn't know MY grandma.[/Groucho]

I wasn't offended at all. I just have definitely noticed a trend for people to think we're into all sorts of weird fetish stuff or BDSM or what-not if they find out that we're poly, and I don't get why, so I was asking if that was what you meant.

Common misconception.

People think stuff is fetish or BDSM if it's not "normal sex" between one man and one woman that doesn't involve more than the "classic" position. And certainly doesn't involve all the other ones pointed out in sex manuals...

Nevermind that usually "fetish" involves whips, 'cuffs and the like...