Gay men or women who play D&D
- Thread starter BeholderBurger
- Start date
Angelsboi
First Post
ok its time for me to speak ...
I started at 12 and my best friend, Tommy Smith, got me hooked into RPing with one small task. He gave me the Dragonlance Trilogy.
After reading it, we played until life stepped in and sepperated us. I tried so hard to stay in contact and he did too but his step mom hated me and knew i was gay before i did.
I never did get to tell him how i truly felt about him and how much he gave me from that one book. I still dont know if he was gay or straight because even though we shared the same bed when i stayed the night, nothing happened ... and he didnt have a girlfriend.
Over the years, i got comfortable enough to come out about being gay. Im 22 now and have been out for nearly 8 years. I was always out as a gaymer. Im also a writer and writing fantasy books, i used a lot of D&D influences.
All of my characters have been females or gay males. Usually the females are as Wulf said, sweet, innocent and pure (Like Goldmoon) or bitchy, brasive, and kick-ass (Like Faith from Buffy). Most of my gay characters range from effeminate to extremely butch.
A couple of examples. I had a friend in arizona (she was a straight girl who is still my best friend). We played twins. Dirk and Dag (short for dagger). They were EXTEREMLY proficient in weilding daggers and such (they were monks). Their fathers had abused them and they grew up only being able to rust and love each other. The group didnt seem to flip out they were brothers and gay. They did, howver, get shocked to find them incestious. They never once made a decision without speaking to the other. They were the best characters i ever played.
The second was a character more or less based of my attitude and looks. He eventually became a god but he was known as Drake Somnius aka Morpheus. And he was a NPC who fell in love with Sasha, a straight guys character (Steve was also a straight close friend).
*shrugs*
I hope this has helped.
I started at 12 and my best friend, Tommy Smith, got me hooked into RPing with one small task. He gave me the Dragonlance Trilogy.
After reading it, we played until life stepped in and sepperated us. I tried so hard to stay in contact and he did too but his step mom hated me and knew i was gay before i did.
I never did get to tell him how i truly felt about him and how much he gave me from that one book. I still dont know if he was gay or straight because even though we shared the same bed when i stayed the night, nothing happened ... and he didnt have a girlfriend.
Over the years, i got comfortable enough to come out about being gay. Im 22 now and have been out for nearly 8 years. I was always out as a gaymer. Im also a writer and writing fantasy books, i used a lot of D&D influences.
All of my characters have been females or gay males. Usually the females are as Wulf said, sweet, innocent and pure (Like Goldmoon) or bitchy, brasive, and kick-ass (Like Faith from Buffy). Most of my gay characters range from effeminate to extremely butch.
A couple of examples. I had a friend in arizona (she was a straight girl who is still my best friend). We played twins. Dirk and Dag (short for dagger). They were EXTEREMLY proficient in weilding daggers and such (they were monks). Their fathers had abused them and they grew up only being able to rust and love each other. The group didnt seem to flip out they were brothers and gay. They did, howver, get shocked to find them incestious. They never once made a decision without speaking to the other. They were the best characters i ever played.
The second was a character more or less based of my attitude and looks. He eventually became a god but he was known as Drake Somnius aka Morpheus. And he was a NPC who fell in love with Sasha, a straight guys character (Steve was also a straight close friend).
*shrugs*
I hope this has helped.
WizarDru
Adventurer
Uller said:
Geez, I can't believe I've been carrying on discussions with such a geek.
Truthfully, I'm suprised that Paintball has elicited such negative responses for you. My wife used to play, but I don't know that she's ever encountered that kind of response.
I have to agree with Wulf that generally, I tend to minimize the issues of romance and sexuality within my games. They are usually plot points, maybe even quick diversions, but generally they are sideline distractions to laying the smack down on evil.
Wulf Ratbane
Adventurer
WizarDru said:
Whoa! Hear hear!
Man, did that get the blood pumping! I felt a tingle.
Wulf
Some guy from Ohio
First Post
Amen brother. I don't really know any gay people (not that I am aware of) and have little experience with even the subject, but this thread shows that it takes all different types to make a community and what a great community this is.
Pelosan Emperor
First Post
Trevalon Moonleirion said:
My comment about our dining room has more to do with the fact that my partner and I live together (along with our 4 cats), and there are photos from our last vacation together on the sideboard. It's fairly obvious that the owners of the house are a couple...
I'm not familiar with The Dining Room you mentioned, although it does sound interesting.
Last edited:
dreadnought
First Post
Angelsboi is gay? Quel shock!
Seriously, our DM is gay and we take great pleasure in teasing him about his latest beau. Well, at least I do.
Quite clearly, gamers are a tolerant lot. Perhaps tolerant is the wrong word -- intelligent might be better. Civilized. Understanding. Accepting.Jeez, if that's what it means to be a geek then call me a proud one.
Gosh, we rock!
Cheers, dread
Seriously, our DM is gay and we take great pleasure in teasing him about his latest beau. Well, at least I do.
Quite clearly, gamers are a tolerant lot. Perhaps tolerant is the wrong word -- intelligent might be better. Civilized. Understanding. Accepting.Jeez, if that's what it means to be a geek then call me a proud one.
Gosh, we rock!
Cheers, dread
Last edited:
Triple Threat: Gay, Black, Gamer
On being a male gamer who also happens to share the gay gene:
I came out of the closet when I was 16 and a freshman in college. It was approximately several months after I had joined the community college gaming group. I am now 36, and I've undergone plenty of re-inventions since then in my personality as well as my sexuality.
I was fortunate enough in my early gaming experiences with young adults to be able to play characters of alternate sexuality under a GM with whom I shared a short relationship before either of us ridding ourselves of the "bi" label. Playing those characters gave me the strength and the confidence to deal the challenges presented to me by others who were not so enlightened. There were more issues regarding my race than my sexuality, oddly enough, but these too were not all that serious.
To date, since I moved to Atlanta, as a GM I've played two gay NPCs, and as a player, 1 sexually ambiguous character. I have played a variety of ethnicities in my characters, but have never felt comfortable introducing a gay character simply because of the mix of individuals in the gaming groups I've joined in my time down here. I am the only black player in my gaming group as well as the only gay player.
Have I felt constrained in my choices in-game regarding my sexuality? If I understand the question, I haven't actually tested the waters of introducing gay characters in the games in which I've participated. The reasons I haven't vary:
At this time in my life, I don't make sexuality a part of any portrayal of character because the games I play in don't even acknowledge that sexuality exists in the campaign world beyond the "fling for flavor" some earnest role-players engage in with buxom barmaids, so what would be the point?
The guys I play with are all straight as far as I know. I know that one or two of them are "homo-fearful", but usually limit the expressions of that fearfulness to an acceptable level most of the time. Out of a desire to maintain harmony with this group, I don't play the orientation card.
At the risk of starting a flame, I've also noted in most of the games I've played that the GMs for the most part stay away from trying to attach any kind of ethnic credibility to non-player characters of color, and understandably so--if done at all, it's often done badly, and perpetuates stereotypes rather than accurate portrayals. This goes doubly so for gay credibility. The first rule of writing is "write what you know." I think it applies to gamemastering as well. So I don't play gay characters because I don't expect the GMs I play with to be able to treat the existence of the trait comfortably, respectfully, or knowledgeably. I don't fault them for a natural gap in self-identification.
Thankfully, that's not as much a consideration regarding the race issue. I can play a person of color in an RPG when they appear, knowing ahead of time that the extent to which the "black experience" may go in my gaming group will be the safe zone of portrayal of "The Huxtables".
Is credibility of culture a requirement for me as a player to enjoy gaming? I'm one of those actors that prove to be such a nuisance in role-playing campaigns. I like gaming in character, and anything that contributes to me staying in character and thinking in character is what I gravitate towards, to the consternation of some players and GMs. However, I feel it's my responsibility to cut others slack from my abnormally high standards for an escapist activity, so I concede that certain areas just aren't comfortable or appropriate for what basically amount to civil rights discussions.
Someone mentioned a "coolness" factor in the gay community. Ironic, isn't it? A community which accepts leather-clad role-playing along with sadistic drag queens wearing spandex as if it were a right and not a privilege counts all that as a legitimate subcategory of its culture, but wrinkles its nose when faced the far tamer version we play and calls it "weird".
I deal with this just by being me. To paraphrase Will Smith, "I make gamer geek look good."
Does it get lonely being a gamer who happens to be gay? Sometimes. I know that when I leave a session, and I have plans to go to a club or a movie that may or may not have black-relevant or gay-relative content present, it's like I'm traveling between whole planes of existence. I am making more of a conscious effort to find more friends with whom I can share more than one world, but it tain't easy. And let's not even talk about the romance part.
I hope this long ramble helps.
Meridian
On being a male gamer who also happens to share the gay gene:
I came out of the closet when I was 16 and a freshman in college. It was approximately several months after I had joined the community college gaming group. I am now 36, and I've undergone plenty of re-inventions since then in my personality as well as my sexuality.
I was fortunate enough in my early gaming experiences with young adults to be able to play characters of alternate sexuality under a GM with whom I shared a short relationship before either of us ridding ourselves of the "bi" label. Playing those characters gave me the strength and the confidence to deal the challenges presented to me by others who were not so enlightened. There were more issues regarding my race than my sexuality, oddly enough, but these too were not all that serious.
To date, since I moved to Atlanta, as a GM I've played two gay NPCs, and as a player, 1 sexually ambiguous character. I have played a variety of ethnicities in my characters, but have never felt comfortable introducing a gay character simply because of the mix of individuals in the gaming groups I've joined in my time down here. I am the only black player in my gaming group as well as the only gay player.
Have I felt constrained in my choices in-game regarding my sexuality? If I understand the question, I haven't actually tested the waters of introducing gay characters in the games in which I've participated. The reasons I haven't vary:
At this time in my life, I don't make sexuality a part of any portrayal of character because the games I play in don't even acknowledge that sexuality exists in the campaign world beyond the "fling for flavor" some earnest role-players engage in with buxom barmaids, so what would be the point?
The guys I play with are all straight as far as I know. I know that one or two of them are "homo-fearful", but usually limit the expressions of that fearfulness to an acceptable level most of the time. Out of a desire to maintain harmony with this group, I don't play the orientation card.
At the risk of starting a flame, I've also noted in most of the games I've played that the GMs for the most part stay away from trying to attach any kind of ethnic credibility to non-player characters of color, and understandably so--if done at all, it's often done badly, and perpetuates stereotypes rather than accurate portrayals. This goes doubly so for gay credibility. The first rule of writing is "write what you know." I think it applies to gamemastering as well. So I don't play gay characters because I don't expect the GMs I play with to be able to treat the existence of the trait comfortably, respectfully, or knowledgeably. I don't fault them for a natural gap in self-identification.
Thankfully, that's not as much a consideration regarding the race issue. I can play a person of color in an RPG when they appear, knowing ahead of time that the extent to which the "black experience" may go in my gaming group will be the safe zone of portrayal of "The Huxtables".
Is credibility of culture a requirement for me as a player to enjoy gaming? I'm one of those actors that prove to be such a nuisance in role-playing campaigns.
I like gaming in character, and anything that contributes to me staying in character and thinking in character is what I gravitate towards, to the consternation of some players and GMs. However, I feel it's my responsibility to cut others slack from my abnormally high standards for an escapist activity, so I concede that certain areas just aren't comfortable or appropriate for what basically amount to civil rights discussions.Someone mentioned a "coolness" factor in the gay community. Ironic, isn't it? A community which accepts leather-clad role-playing along with sadistic drag queens wearing spandex as if it were a right and not a privilege counts all that as a legitimate subcategory of its culture, but wrinkles its nose when faced the far tamer version we play and calls it "weird".
I deal with this just by being me. To paraphrase Will Smith, "I make gamer geek look good."
Does it get lonely being a gamer who happens to be gay? Sometimes. I know that when I leave a session, and I have plans to go to a club or a movie that may or may not have black-relevant or gay-relative content present, it's like I'm traveling between whole planes of existence. I am making more of a conscious effort to find more friends with whom I can share more than one world, but it tain't easy. And let's not even talk about the romance part.
I hope this long ramble helps.
Meridian
Rashak Mani
First Post
Nice input Meridien... what a combo of "minorities"...
As for the traveling between different planes of existence I think most of us that have friends outside gaming feel the same way.
Even with my girlfriend to a certain extent this happens. I go straight from gaming to her house... and she isnt exactly enthusiastic about me gaming... so mentioning what happened during the game is a no no.... to slow down after a full blooded major D&D action packed combat and to have to keep it off my mind and quiet is very torturing.
As for the traveling between different planes of existence I think most of us that have friends outside gaming feel the same way.
Even with my girlfriend to a certain extent this happens. I go straight from gaming to her house... and she isnt exactly enthusiastic about me gaming... so mentioning what happened during the game is a no no.... to slow down after a full blooded major D&D action packed combat and to have to keep it off my mind and quiet is very torturing.
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