Great barbarian quotes

[Templetroll]

From "The Long Ships" a great Richard Widmark/Sidney Portier viking movie... The quote was said when he had an encounter with the wife of the Moorish Prince and she helped him to escape by lieing.

Memorable Quotes from
The Long Ships (1963)
Rolfe: If we ever had children, my lady, what princely liars they would be!

 

[Romnipotent]

"This smacks of conspiracy!" my barbarian in noble clothes
"Thats a big word for you isn't it" some other guy
"My parents, may their shallow graves never be found, taught it to me"

 

[Hand of Evil]

The following are from things my brother has said in game playing his barbarian.

Barbarian adventure to villian:

The only adventure is the great adventure and that means scars, lets make some, hero!

Barbarian to Dwarf:

I like your axe, how much wood can you cut with it?

Barbarian to Mage:

So, spellcaster do you do poof?

Barbarian to other party members:

Man's only worth is the bastards he leaves behind.

 

[Samuel Leming]

After helping to defeat the drow warrior wizard known as Whetfarat, Thuhd the orc barbarian strode over to the dark elf's fallen dragonel mount and severed the last four feet of its tail. Holding the severed tail high, Thuhd exclaimed, "What more can any orc want? A good fight and a piece of tail afterwards!"


Sam

 

[Brakkart]

Gotta love Thrud the Barbarian by Carl Critchlow.

"By the sacred jockstrap of Robert E. Howard!!"

"Right... More beer!" (after he's killed everything in sight)

"You... Spilled... My... Beer!!" (as he rages)

Still my fave character in the series (back in White Dwarf, she's yet to appear in the comic book) is Lymara the She-Wildebeaste, who hates Thrud cos he accidentally wiped out her entire family!

 

[Sparky]

A favorite from a tabletop campaign I played in this past year... the group had been thrown together by a benefactor, this quiote came from a chat as the newly formed party rode out to its destination.

GITHERZAI PC: I am from The Planes.

Barbarian sighs heartily

KOHGA THE BARBARIAN: Ahh, the plains... I know them well. You are from the North?



I'll have to see if I can dig up more from this character... he and his player had us in stitches practically every session.

 

[Ace]

"Praise not the day until evening has come; a woman until she is burnt; a sword until it is tried; a maiden until she is married; ice until it has been crossed; beer until it has been drunk."

"The deeds of dead men are sung, and also the deeds of heroes who live, but never are sung the deeds of ordinary men."

And to a man who is afraid:

"That is because you think upon what is to come, and imagine fearsome things that would stop the blood of any man. Do not think ahead, and be cheerful by knowing that no man lives forever."

All three quotes are from Michael Crichton's Eaters of the Dead, a great and underappreciated book upon which the movie "The 13th Warrior" is based.

Well Chriton got the first couple of them from the Havamal -- the words of Odin no less

A favorite from a very old 2e game of mine from a horse nomad spirit warrior fighter

We are the Toulani the people of many manes and thundering hooves --

this was good enough to become a permanent add on phrase for the game world

Another one I like is from the old Flash Gordan cartoon - I think it was Prince Baron who was more an archer/ranger type but still " Ah Good Friends, A beautiful woamn and plenty of fighting to be done. what more could anyone ask"

Also from Flash Gordan (this time the movie) Brian Blessed as Voltan King of the Hawkmen "Ah well who wants to live forever" --

 

[Ice man]

Long time ago...first edition barbarian...with gambling habit...group members trying to distract him so he would not break magic items in room..."Knucklebones? Yes, I will take all your silver, shaman, it pleases me to worship your god with your coin!

Also, only heard once, in a tavern "Brack, what a stupid name for a barbarian!"

Had a barbarian who wouldn't take a patron deity as no god had proven that he was more powerful than a barbarian. One day he was smashing things and found a fist sized stone that he could not break. He declared the stone to be his deity. when group would ask for divine intervention/blessings in a tough fight Brack would produce his rock, shout "god aid me" and throw it at his foes...i don't think he ever missed with that rock...

 

[Darkness]

*sighs*

*picks up stick with Hong-shaped indentation in it*

*beats Mark Chance with stick*

By the way, nice story !

Thank you, shilsen. He really deserved that.

 

[NewJeffCTHome]

For the barbarian who gets nothing right...

"I here to chew butt and kick bubblegum."

Another fine barbarian quote resource is Sergoi Aragones' excellent comic book "Groo."

we actually had a guy that gave us real quotes like that in game. He was a nice guy out of game, and always one to bring extra bottled water or soda & snacks... but, when it came to role-playing, he always put his foot in his mouth. Some examples:

On a long trek as a caravan guard, a female guard decides to hit on him:
Barbarian's response: "I do not walk that way with women." (He was trying to say that he only slept with women of his own tribe...)
DM, without missing a beat, as indignant female NPC: "well, you have plenty of choices for men around here then!"

Another time, as a 6'10" 300 pound powerhouse (he actually rolled on a chart for that and rolled very high!) visiting a land of people that were barely over 5 feet tall on average - so, he stuck out in a crowded festival. A young 8 year old tries to snatch his money pouch. She succeeds, but he spots her... rather than grab her, or laugh it off, this Chaotic Good barbarian yells, "Guards! she grabbed my pouch!!!"

Later that evening, at a festival dance, a petite little thing grabs him to dance. The rest of the group starts tossing coins at him (a festival tradition, as the girl was a barmaid and would use the cash as tips...), he gets flustered and shouts, "hey, you could put my eye out with that!"

So, this guy is always playing barbarians of questionable manliness it seems!