Great barbarian quotes

[Muaddib]

"Uggh kill man, elf help horse," spoken by Uggh after he had failed to ride the captive pegasus in the midst of a battle. The elven soon-to-be bladesinger was not having the easiest time in the combat that Uggh had been ignoring.

 

[Kid Charlemagne]

"Why is magic evil? Just think about it. If I threw a magical item on the floor of this room, you would be fighting over it in moments. Magic causes more trouble than women, and women cause lots of trouble!"

 

[Angcuru]

but they cause a good deal of pleasure as well WOOHOO!

 

[Emirikol]

Mongol Barbarian Quotes

Learn Khitaian (from Hyboria/CONAN) in 5 Minutes (translated from Learn Chinese in 5 minutes) by Jay
Hafner

1) That is not right....................Sum Ting Wong

2) Are you harboring a fugitive?........Hu Yu Hai Ding

3) See me ASAP..........................Kum Hia Nao

4) Stupid Man...........................Dum F*

5) Small Horse..........................Tai Ni Po Ni

6) Did you go to the beach?.............Wai Yu So Tan

7) I bumped into a halfling.........Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni

8) I think you need a face lift..............Chin TuFat

9) It is very dark in this dungeon................Wao So Dim

10) I thought you were on a diet.............Wai Yu Mun Ching

11) You cannot leave your warhorse here...............No Pah King

12) Our meeting is scheduled for next week...Wai Yu Kum Nao

13) Staying out of sight...................Lei Ying Lo

14) He is cleaning his horse...........Wa Shing Po Ni

15) Your body odor is offensive..............Yu Stin Ki Pu

16) Great....................................Fa Kin Su Pah

 

[Ferret]

"Safety in numbers. And I am two or three at least."

"I don't trust you as far as I could throw you. Even though I could throw you quite far."

Correct me If I've misquoted.

 

[WmRAllen67]

And every story told in a tavern ends with...

"...And then I hit him!"




(With apologies to legions of SCA Stick-Jocks... 'cause they hit hard and some of them know who I am...)

 

[Jondor_Battlehammer]

Actions do speak louder than words. The party came to the end of a dungeon that contained a summoning circle that was releasing monsters into the world from another plane. As the party planned on entering the circle and seek a means to destroy it on the other side, our Barbarian/Forsaker took his oversized adamantine warhammer and proceeded to smash the flooring to dust. Didn't bat an eye at it either, it was his first reaction to the situation. His personality is somewhat akin to Ash from Army of Darkness.

 

[Mark Chance]

Spoken by a half-orc barbarian/fighter I ran as part of a group that went through the Sunless Citadel: "Ooh! Dibs on the elf pudding!"

And now a cautionary tale:

Two grim cutthroats step out of dark alley to confront a hulking Cimmerian.

"Me and him will be taking your money now," hisses one cutthroat.

"Me and him? Me and him?" says the disgusted hulking Cimmerian. "Me and him are objective case pronouns, you imbecile! They cannot be used as nominatives! You must use he and I instead! Ooh, that makes me mad! GAAAAR!"

The hulking Cimmerian dismembers the cutthroat with bad grammar, but lets the other one live. Before the spared cutthroat runs away in terror, the Cimmerian is heard to say:

"Make sure that you warn all of your kind about crossing swords with Conan the Grammarian!"

 

[shilsen]

And now a cautionary tale:

...

"Make sure that you warn all of your kind about crossing swords with Conan the Grammarian!"

*sighs*

*picks up stick with Hong-shaped indentation in it*

*beats Mark Chance with stick*

By the way, nice story !

 

[rbingham2000]

My favorite Gimli-quote from Return of the King (don't know if you'd call HIM a barbarian, though):

"Certainty of death. Small chance of success. What are we waiting for?"