Halfling Rapper 25 Cent

[Nifft]

What about Two Weapon Fighting and dual wield repeating crossbows?

You'd need a pair of Followers, one on each side, reloading them for you. That would be a good use for your followers, too.

What do you have for a Cohort? Someone who can keep you out of melee, I presume? If you don't have one, can I suggest:

• Terminator X -- Warforged Fighter / Exotic Weapon Master (C.War) / Occult Slayer (C.War) with a spiked chain.
• Sir Flavalot -- Human Knight (PHB2); replace all "challenge" text with taunts about yo mama; mechanics remain the same.
• Nasir -- Human Crusader (ToB:Bo9S) focused on Devoted Spirit, particularly counters which protect allies (you).
• Beasty Boy -- Halfling Druid / Beastmaster (C.Adv) who brings a lot of free animals to the party. These are like your entourage, but even more disposable, because replacing them is free and gives no penalty. They will benefit from your Bardic Music, and from any White Raven auras you pick up.
• G-Unit -- Gnome Illusionist / Master Specialist (Illusion) (C.Mage). They can't see you, but they can feel the beat(ing). Also, he casts flame arrow on your crossbow bolts so you're dealing an extra +1d6 fire damage.

The rules on how many hands a crossbow requires are a bit complex; not worth TWF if you ask me. Not when you can use Rapid Shot instead. The 5-bolt magazine is really sucky for a repeating xbow, because you're probably not going to be shooting exactly 5 bolts each round -- Rapid Reload + Light Xbow is better for sustained rate of fire.

Cheers, -- N

 

[Darklone]

Halfling Crossbow Sniper with dex 20 and reduce person for another +1 to damage and to hit. TWF. Rapid Shot. Haste. Flame Arrow. Flame Arrow (cold, acid, etc). Bards song. Divine Might. Dex +6 item. DM bribe +10 dex item. Shilsen broken attribute values. Crothian lurk psionic sneak attack damage 66d6. Piratecat kitty bonus +777.

Where's my machinegun when I need it.

 

[RigaMortus2]

Sir Flavalot -- Human Knight (PHB2); replace all "challenge" text with taunts about yo mama; mechanics remain the same.

Cheers, -- N

There is actually a Jester base class in Dragon Compendium, which does basically that. They are an anti-Bard. Instead of inspiring their allies, they taunt enemies and give them negatives.

 

[Drowbane]

1/ "Two Bits" seems less anachronistic -- and also, it's a good excuse to mention how Halflings get a +1 bonus with "tha two bullets in ma sling, baby".

At this point, it seems a little too late to worry about not being anachronistic.

 

[Olaf the Stout]

I don't have anything constructive to add. I just wanted to say that this is the funniest thread I have ever seen in the Rules forum! Absolutely hilarious!

Olaf the Stout

 

[Nifft]

Do you have Melodic Casting (Complete Mage)? It allows you to cast spells while maintaining your bardic music -- to incorporate spells directly in the rhymes that you're spitting.

Because the best performances always end with "... and EAT A FIREBALL*, biatch!"

Cheers, -- N

* via shadow evocation, of course.

 

[Umbran]

Yo, you know, what with all the pipeweed leaf coming out of the Shire, you should know better.

I mean, really - does everyone in the party want to deal with your drug hobbit?

 

[RSKennan]

I don't have anything constructive to add either, but I do have to say that if someone came to me with this character in a game I was running, the first scene of the campaign would be an epic lightning storm with no saves.

I mean that in the best possible way.

 

[Olaf the Stout]

I don't have anything constructive to add either, but I do have to say that if someone came to me with this character in a game I was running, the first scene of the campaign would be an epic lightning storm with no saves.

I mean that in the best possible way.

I'm guessing his game is a little more casual than a lot of people's games. Either that or his character won't have a very long life!

Olaf the Stout

 

[Old Gumphrey]

Do you have Melodic Casting (Complete Mage)? It allows you to cast spells while maintaining your bardic music -- to incorporate spells directly in the rhymes that you're spitting.

Because the best performances always end with "... and EAT A FIREBALL*, biatch!"

I just saw that today actually, and it looks...completely vital. I was also thinking about doing a lyric thaumaturge. I honestly never saw this guy as a caster, though, but rogue archers are so terrible and nothing else has the skill points. I might roll out this Jester class, I'm checking it out as we speak. He seems more the type to screw over the opposition anyway.

I mean, really - does everyone in the party want to deal with your drug hobbit?

Do I want to deal with their elven ranger legolas copies? How about their poison-mongering CE assassins or half-troll stonechild fighters? Moving on.

I don't have anything constructive to add either, but I do have to say that if someone came to me with this character in a game I was running, the first scene of the campaign would be an epic lightning storm with no saves.

And I'd stand up and walk right back out, and probably wouldn't be coming back. But it's a good way to handle characters you don't like, for sure.

I'm guessing his game is a little more casual than a lot of people's games. Either that or his character won't have a very long life!

Yeah...cause when you don't like someone's character it's totally ok to kill them outright until they make something that fits into your view of how D&D should run.

It's actually a halfway serious game, it's just that this idea is really funny, and I'm good enough at roleplaying to pull it off while maintaining the integrity of the game. It's not my fault if other people can't suspend disbelief to imagine that a halfling bard with a repeating crossbow can specialize in an invented style of rhythmic rhyming vocals and is very interested in prostitutes, money, and showboating can be a legitimate fantasy fiction character. Hell, I've seen "standard" D&D characters that are ten times more useless and disturbing to a group than this guy will be (like the guy that insists on playing evil in a good and neutral party regardless of what his sheet says). Even his name, "25 cent", is believeable; why can't halflings call copper pieces "cents"?