Have You Used The X Card Or Seen It Used In Person?

[Ruin Explorer]

I believe you. I am not denying your experience.

But even when we were 14 year old boys we did not engage in that BS. WTaF?

That's the thing. Many groups are sane, even when you're like 12 or 14 or w/e.

Like, the worst thing that happened in our groups when we were teenagers was basically just occasionally two PCs/players getting so mad they duelled or something (which resolved the issue because usually both of them got so wrekt by that that even the 'winner' was like "Ok that's not a good idea"). No-one even proposed anything grim (no torture, let alone worse, sure some death threats and the odd execution of some heinous individual, but that's kind of different). The closest was when we found some baby orcs (like, toddlers), and the DM - the DM! - insisted we had to kill them, and we, the players, told him where he could shove that. He even brought in his OP GMPC Paladin from out of nowhere to try and bully us/emotionally blackmail us! But even at 13 our morality was too advanced for baby-slaughter! We ended up taking them to a monastery of Illmater to be raised as foundlings (quite a way out of our way, but it seemed like the right thing to do). The DM did eventually grudgingly admit that was probably okay, but this marked his last session where he was allowed to be DM lol.

Some are not.

Like one guy I met at uni was gleefully recounting what his AD&D group's PCs got up to (really gross stuff), and clearly thought it was cool, and we were like, what in god's holy name is wrong with your brain that you not only did that, but thought it was cool to boast about to basically strangers? Honestly made me start thinking maybe some people should just be "on a list"... Prior to that the people I was with had been thinking we could have him be part of the housemate situation we were planning, but after that, he was absolutely out.

And quite a few are mostly-sane people with 1-2 strange individuals.

And other times people just have unexpected lines. Like the one person I met who would not fight horse-like monsters. Ever. I'm sure they had their reasons.

(The arachnophobia thing is fine though I do think anyone who is phobic re: a certain kind of creature probably wants to consider talking to the DM beforehand, because the odds of bumping into such a giant extra-scary version of something in D&D are high, and a lot of people's phobias are different shapes - for one person turning it into a giant crab or a giant praying mantis would be absolutely fine, fix the problem, for another it would continue the problem.)

 

[Reynard]

(The arachnophobia thing is fine though I do think anyone who is phobic re: a certain kind of creature probably wants to consider talking to the DM beforehand, because the odds of bumping into such a giant extra-scary version of something in D&D are high, and a lot of people's phobias are different shapes - for one person turning it into a giant crab or a giant praying mantis would be absolutely fine, fix the problem, for another it would continue the problem.)

If I understand the X card correctly, it is kind of there specifically for times when you don't have an opportunity (or capability, or desire) to have the prior conversation.

 

[Umbran]

We kill monsters/villains, rescue people and banish evils spirits and the like. In my world
If those things call for x-card, you probably are not wanting to play D&D

This indicates that you have not a fig of an idea of what safety tools are for. You are arguing against a strawman of your own making.

And at this point, that makes your position... sad.

 

[Reynard]

This indicates that you have not a fig of an idea of what safety tools are for. You are arguing against a strawman of your own making.

And at this point, that makes your position... sad.

It does raise (what I think is) an interesting question:

Has someone's use of the X Card ever resulted in that person not being a part of the group going forward? Not in a punishment way (that would be not nice) but in a "they just don't fit" way?

I am curious if anyone has ever had that experience.

 

[Umbran]

If I understand the X card correctly, it is kind of there specifically for times when you don't have an opportunity (or capability, or desire) to have the prior conversation.

Yep. In the case I mentioned, the player wound up dropping into a one-shot at a house con last minute, and there wasn't time for the discussion, or apparent need - the session wasn't titled, "Against the Spider-Volcano Horde" or anything obvious.

 

[MGibster]

If I understand the X card correctly, it is kind of there specifically for times when you don't have an opportunity (or capability, or desire) to have the prior conversation.

There's always the possibility an unexpected issue might crop up because nobody, including a player, thought of it. A year after my father died I went to the theater to watch Return of the Jedi where I had an emotional reaction during some of the scenes between Vader and Luke. I knew those scenes were in the movie but my emotional response was completely unexpected. Don't worry, I did what every reasonable man of my generation was taught to do, I repressed those feelings by putting them in the happy box where it might blossom into a stroke or a heart attack later in life.

 

[bergec]

Chiming in to support MGibster, sometimes you can't guess how something is going to hit you ahead of time. I know plenty of folks who were surprised by their change in emotional response to children in danger in media after becoming parents, for example.

 

[zakael19]

Chiming in to support MGibster, sometimes you can't guess how something is going to hit you ahead of time. I know plenty of folks who were surprised by their change in emotional response to children in danger in media after becoming parents, for example.

I have two fathers in my recently started DH game who Lined out violence to children righh at the start. I’ve had that be Veiled before, but this was the first time I’d played with parents.

I haven’t played with an X Card out, but have done Check Ins and also had people just verbally drop a “whoa, hey can we skip this? I didn’t realize …” a couple of times.

Gotta say, X Carding behavior / volume is a fascinating way to low-friction communicate about around-the-table stuff I hadn’t considered. Very cool.

 

[pemerton]

It was Apocalypse World. The game was pitched in the con program as an adults-only game (a hard R, to use the MPAA ratings system as a metaphor), and I had some misgivings about it beforehand, just based on that pitch and that we were all going to be strangers. The GM really did a great job creating a safe space for us to play, and it ended up being my one of my favorite sessions at the con.

Thanks for the reply. That's interesting, and makes sense.

 

[SteveC]

I have run a lot of sessions at Cons and played dozens (actually hundreds, ugh, old person...) more and I've never seen it. I've seen it discussed a lot online. After Covid, I was going to get back to running some Con games and I thought about it, because I have heard it discussed a lot. I decided not to when I heard an argument about it that I hadn't considered.

The X card is a hard stop for a partular part of a game, but the discussion I heard was that it encourages people to push right up to the line, when they might otherwise normally not do it. The charitable way of thinking about it would be "if someone doesn't like this, they'll say no." What the argument I heard was, it moves the burden to the person who's offended, rather than just starting by assuming common social norms. And a lot of people I know who have issues with a particular play style are very passive about it and won't say anything.

What I do is start the session by saying "I'm SteveC and I'm your GM. We're all here to have a good time together, so let's keep things fun and light here. Consider this game to be rated PG or maybe PG13 in a pinch. If you have a problem with something, talk to me and we'll work it out. If I see someone doing something that's upsetting someone, including me, we'll cut it out."

I've never had a problem, and I have only had to step in and say anything a couple times.