Hey

[Krieg]

Confronted her about it yesterday. She vehemently denied being pregnant. She seemed sincere. I've usually been a pretty good judge of when she is telling the truth, but now I just don't know. :\

We talked a bit. She started crying because she doesn't want anything to happen to me (because of my cancer). Said that if she had known before that she would not have left me. Said she was going to come back until the night I grabbed her arm. Admitted she still loved me (as a friend according to her). Said she loves the new guy and that they had talked about marriage. Said she feels so horrible about leaving me when I need her the most. etc etc

It would be so much easier if she was just the psycho b**** all of the time rather than opening up to me now and again. Damn it is a pain to love/hate/feel sorry for someone all at the same time.

Anyways, I am just going to do my best to avoid her until this entire mess is over with.

 

[Darth K'Trava]

Yeah. 'cause it's now sounding like she's using the "Pity Factor" on you.... :\

She should find out for sure if she's pregnant or not. That way, it can ease THAT burden... Obviously she's worried more about whether she's preggers or not moreso than you having cancer, which is a more looming thing. Personally, I think she should be worried more about what the effect of the cancer is having on your overall health than screwing around and being a psycho-b****...

 

[Krieg]

Yeah. 'cause it's now sounding like she's using the "Pity Factor" on you.... :\

I honestly don't think that is it. The problem is that part of her truly does still love me (whether she can admit it or not). She doesn't realize that she can't have it both ways. She doesn't have the right to care about me anymore.

I wrote her a letter today telling her exactly how I feel. My love, my anger, my pain...all of it. In short I let her know that she needs to go ahead and get the rest of her stuff as soon as possible as it is just too painful for me to deal with her anymore.

While I still love her desperately, I am realizing more and more that she isn't a person that I like very much.

She's made her bed, she can sleep in it...