How do I get a combat-heavy player interested in ROLE playing?!

[Aus_Snow]

I've seen this kind of thing before. It honestly sounds more like a lack of interest in roleplaying games overall, than in any particular aspect thereof.

If so, this could be due to a variety of things, including just not truly wanting to play, feeling that it's silly, not really 'grokking' RPGs (at all, or perhaps just so far), wanting a different kind of RPG experience (but not necessarily knowing what that actually might be), and so on.

Could be wrong, obviously, but it just sounds that way, like I said. Unless. . . well, unless she's really, really into the combat, full on, 100%, all that.

Combat is something you can't really avoid, so that might be the cause of the 'interest'. If things are how they sound to me. Hard to tell, given some sparse text, natch.

 

[Mallus]

1) Give her characters interesting people to talk to/interact with.

2) Make sure that if and when she does, they respond to what her characters say. Make sure her words and actions matter --even if you have to force things at first.

3) Accept that she may not want to role-play (as your defining it) and is content to get what she currently gets out of the game.

 

[LostSoul]

We go to a village: She hangs out by the fire and lets the other characters do the inquesting.

What kinds of things do you do when you "do the inquesting"? I mean this from a player point-of-view.

Not this: Braglor the Fighter talked to the village innkeeper, trading stories, and Braglor found out that there's missing cattle.

Instead, this: Greg said that his PC was going to talk to an NPC. He spoke in-character with the DM for about ten minutes, until the conversation came to a natural end. No dice were rolled, and no other players were involved.

edit: If it's not clear, what I'm asking is that you post about your game in the same manner as in the second example - not that you should play like that.

 

[Delta]

Don't. People like what they like, and trying to bend/ persuade/ ramrod them into something different is wasted time and energy.

Alternate tack: I have two good friends now in their 40's. They were introduced to 3E for a year or so and didn't quite "get" it (again, uncomfortable with chatting/ funny voices part). Then I introduced each separately to old-school D&D in a solo adventure, and they liked it much more, one saying "Wow! Now this is what D&D should be like!". This includes things like town being offstage, focus on dungeon, puzzles and traps to be figured out by player, etc. It's very immediate and it looks like a game to them.

One of these people was MY wife (domestic parter really) -- previously she just played mindless half-orc fighters, now for the first time she's expressed interest in maybe trying out a rogue or wizard PC.

 

[Goonalan]

My brother's wife is also reluctant to roleplay (actually she doesn't do it), we play using RPTools and Skype, most of the time she is away from the Mic, and she only interacts (generally) by using Maptools to point at the player she's going to attack next. We've been playing off and on for... oh years and years and years, even when she has a quest built into her character background (which she has written) then she doesn't interact, even when there's only her character in the room- she waits for someone else to nudge her into action and then states that she agrees, or disagrees, depending on the situation.

She laughs at all the other fools in the party, grins (via skype) when the bad guys bite the dirt, is a cock-a-hoop when the quest is done, but she doesn't roleplay- it's about her, not the game, not me, not the situation she's in etc.

To us she's the strong dependable fighter type (in almost all games), interestingly she "whispers" in Maptools to the other players, and types in her comments- which are often very amusing as the action unfolds.

She don't do the voice thing though, not out loud.

She does however put up with my brother, which me and the rest of the family are incredibly thankfull for.

Perhaps your player falls into the above category, perhaps she's just quiet, perhaps she's just humouring her man by playing the game, so ask her... but don't be surprised if you find out that she's happy doing what she does.

Now I've written this I've realised in my previous game then another friend's girlfriend, who was defeinitely only playing the game because he loved it so much, also said next to nothing- and that was face-to-face roleplay, not Skype and Maptools.

Hang on I'm conducting a poll-

I've asked my Mrs. and several other female friends (three), it took a while to explain what it is we do- roleplay and the like, I asked them if they wanted to play, mostly they think it sounds very silly "but why would you want to do that?" The consensus is they like the idea of killing things, and incidently rolling dice, but would not talk to people they didn't know already, particularly not using a microphone.

Make of that what you will.

 

[Umbran]

Don't. People like what they like, and trying to bend/ persuade/ ramrod them into something different is wasted time and energy.

This is partially true - it holds if and only if they've actually tried it before. How many times have people said, "I don't like sushi," without ever actually having tried it, or when the only sushi they've ever had was bad sushi?

The DM should not consistently force a player to do things they don't like, but the occasional request to try something different just to see how it might go is not unreasonable.

Frequently, the issue isn't the activity per se, but how it was presented or introduced, that is the problem.

 

[buzz]

Instead, this: Greg said that his PC was going to talk to an NPC. He spoke in-character with the DM for about ten minutes, until the conversation came to a natural end. No dice were rolled, and no other players were involved.

This is exactly what the player I mentioned calls "dinner theater".

Handle it with a skill challenge, however, and he's riveted.

 

[CharlesRyan]

On the one hand, I agree with most of the folks here--you might just have to accept that your wife isn't into the same aspects of the game that you love. But reading this thread, you'd think that you have no choice but to give up. With the caveat that you must ultimately respect what she wants out of the game, I posit that you can encourage her to become involved in the non-combat scenes of your campaign.

I'd start with the "make it personal" approach. Umbran's example is a good one. It's even better if scenes like that, or the subplots they spin off, lead into a little combat (when reasonable), since that's a reward your wife will likely respond to. You might find that if she defends the young apprentice from the cruel master, she'll develop a concern for the NPC that drives a little roleplaying.

As buzz said, adding a mechanical dimension to social scenes may also engage her more. Make the "inquesting" into a skill challenge or two--especially a challenge that offers a chance for her martial or physical skills to come to the fore.

Third, look for hooks that can connect your game world and/or campaign story directly to your wife's character. If the Count was a personal enemy of her father's, or the next village is the one where she was born and raised, or a piece of the next treasure hoard includes a long-lost family heirloom (or whatever!), she and the game world will have reason to interact in ways beyond the bare necessities of the game. The NPC will have a reason to talk to her specifically, and she'll have a reason to answer with more than "yes" or "no." Maybe she'll run with it, maybe she won't, but at least she'll have the impetus that she might not be feeling now.

Last but not least, don't be afraid of the odd bribe. 4E's quest system can offer XP for "personalizing" your motives for entering an adventure, but even in other editions or games you can offer a game reward for roleplaying. Use this carefully in conjunction with the other tips, though, or you risk it simply being a way for other, more roleplaying-focused players to scoop up more XP while she's still hanging out by the fire.

Again, not every style of play is for everyone, and the advice to avoid frustrating both her and yourself is definitely to be heeded. But that doesn't mean engagement is impossible, or that with the right cues a nonroleplayer can't be encouraged to try--and enjoy--a broader range of the game experience.

 

[Fifth Element]

Just remember we're discussing an adult here. Some people don't take well to the "How do you know you don't like it if you've never tried it?" bit. Some people would react "I'm not a child. I can make up my own mind without you assuming I don't know what I'm talking about. Please respect my decision."

 

[Atlatl Jones]

I'm going to agree with the others: Talk to her about it.

You should also ask her if there are any kinds of roleplaying scenes that she would be interested in. Not all "roleplaying" is created equal. For example, I find "talk to the villagers to find out what'd going on and/or persuade them to help" scenes to be really boring. But I love dramatic scenes with lots of conflict or emotion.