D&D General How Do I Help Mentor a GM Making Rookie Mistakes?

[Reynard]

I disagree. If a GM is re-writing the rules as they go that's a far stretch from, they are just learning the game. IMO I'd tell them, "You should read the rule books". I'm not saying you need an encyclopedic knowledge of them, but you should at least have a passing knowledge of them. If everyone at the table reads the rules it puts everyone on a level playing field in the sense that they have a good idea of how their actions should play out. A new GM if they have read the rules of the game should be able to make rulings within those guidelines, not just make something up whole cloth out of thin air. Whether someone has been GMing for 40 years or for 3 sessions should not remove the onus on them to learn the rules of the game.

I did not get the impression that any of this was about her not knowing the rules, but rather about her trying to make the game work a certain way but just not having the experience yet to do that smoothly.

That said, I am a RTFM person. Everyone should, not least the old veteran GMs who think they already know how to do it. In my experience, the younger GMs are far more likely to study the rules.

 

[R_J_K75]

In my experience, the younger GMs are far more likely to study the rule

Thats good for the hobby, right?

 

[R_J_K75]

hat said, I am a RTFM

Whats RTFM?

 

[zakael19]

Whats RTFM?

Read the Fing Manual

 

[R_J_K75]

Read the Fing Manual

Gotcha, never heard that but what I was thinking

 

[EzekielRaiden]

I would. In the 30+ years that I've GM'd the majority of the time I've rarely if ever gotten feedback, even though I would have liked some. Even when I asked, I usually got the answer that the game was going well, even though I knew there were things I could be doing better.

Yeah...I feel that. Apparently, my players really are genuinely happy about most of the stuff that goes on in the game, but getting any feedback more specific than "great session!" or, when prompted, "I liked X" and/or "I can't think of any problems" is like pulling teeth. I guess a lot of players fly by vibes before anything else.

That said, the one player who really did give good feedback was very helpful and I'll be keeping in mind the feedback he gave for a long time, possibly forever. It was specific to a particular thing I did, so it wasn't universal wisdom or anything, but it was good, specific, clear, and well-explained.

@Retreater Perhaps it would be wise to present your concerns, not as "you are doing X wrong" (which has a pretty significant risk of being badly received), and more as looking for information or understanding? It sounds like a goodly portion of what's going wrong here is down to a lack of communication. You're feeling like the rug is being continually pulled out from under you, which is a sucky place to be. I sincerely doubt that your GM wants to put you in that place, but just presenting a list of criticisms is liable to do more harm than good.

 

[Baumi]

I would try to refrain from coaching. Let her learn her own style and let her make mistakes. Except if she explicitly asks for it.

BUT you should have fun too, so do speak up if there are things that makes the games unfun for you as a PLAYER. Don't start to nitpik or trying to tell her how you would do it, but try to work out a good compromize with her. Ultimately she is the GM and you have to decide for yourself if you can live with that.

I would certainly advice to relax und be patient, the first campaigns usually suck and I know that as a longtime GM you want to give tips and correct early mistakes, but this would only discourage new GMs. Let them make mistakes and enjoy the energy and curiosity of a new GM.

 

[TiQuinn]

I would ask her what she’s aiming for with some of the rule changes. Is it that she wants a dark, gritty game? Does she feel the tone of the game should be one where PC struggle, lasting wounds, and threat of death are important? Part of this is to level set that she’s deviating from the rules as written, and determine if she’s aware of it, and then if she’s doing for purposes that she’s aware of. The house rules doc is definitely a great idea.

 

[Micah Sweet]

I basically agree with everyone so far. It's quite the tightrope to walk.

On the one hand talking to her would seem to be the answer since everyone should be having fun at the table and basic knowledge about how rules are to be interpreted might be part of the fun for people.

On the other, a new GM should be allowed to run the game she wants to play and make all the mistakes that are a part of being new at something.

The question is, what are the risks? The risks of talking to her is that she feels too harshly critiqued and loses the will to continue learning and improving. The risks of not talking to her is everyone else getting burned out on her campaign, quitting, and she never knowing why no one wanted to stay on.

Honestly only you know what kind of person she is. Would she like to get tips or is she more likely to get offended? How far is the rest of the group willing to push through only to support her first go at GMing? If you can answer these questions you might have your final answer there.

It is a tough one. I think it's important to remember that everyone at the table should be enjoying the game. That's the GM and all the players. If someone (or multiple someones) aren't having a fun experience, it should be addressed to see if anything can be done. Otherwise it's simply time that could be better spent on other activities for those person(s).

 

[Micah Sweet]

It sounds like a DM who feels the players are having far too easy a time of it!

Maybe it's the players who need to be spoken too, and told to stop trying so hard to win.

Sure, provided that meets with their goals of play.