How do you keep your group together?

[Boregar]

I've just had five of my seven players cancel on me for tonight's game, for the second week in a row. This was after we had agreed last week to switch game nights for this week.

So I'm looking for any suggestions as to how I can go about trying to prevent my group breaking up. We had already moved from weekly to fortnightly sessions a couple of months ago, to allow for one of the players who has had his shift pattern at work changed, but its not had any real effect. And one of the guys has now told me that he's considering giving role-playing all together.

Any ideas what I can do?

 

[der_kluge]

Don't look at me - I can't even *find* a group.

 

[Crothian]

Find out why they keep canceling and try to address the issues.

My current group has been together for almost 3 years. We're all friends and enjoy each other's company outside of gaming. I think that helps. Everyone really looks forward to game night and wants to be there. They are willing to make it a priority and their wifes know and understand this. We work with people's schedule and don't mind having someone bring over his three year old if need be. Or we'll move the game so another guy can keep an eye on his seven year old twins.

 

[SavageRobby]

Find out why they keep canceling and try to address the issues.

My current group has been together for almost 3 years. We're all friends and enjoy each other's company outside of gaming. I think that helps. Everyone really looks forward to game night and wants to be there. They are willing to make it a priority and their wifes know and understand this. We work with people's schedule and don't mind having someone bring over his three year old if need be. Or we'll move the game so another guy can keep an eye on his seven year old twins.

I was going to post something almost exactly like this.

We're all friends and often do things outside of game night. That helps quite a bit. For game night, we try to play twice a month, and that is usually a good month. We've even co-opted a few of the wives/fiancés, and they're part of the group now, too. Everyone knows that I take a short break part way into the session to put my 8 year old to sleep when we play at our house. Occasionally another couple brings their 8 month old, and he sleeps in our room (and of course, they occasionally have to tend them).

We also have a fairly large group - 8 people, including the DM, and we may invite a few more to join - so we can (and often do) game short a person or two. I think that would be tougher with a smaller group.

 

[Dragon Snack]

While I've done stuff outside of gaming with every member of my group (other than the new guy), only 2 are what I would call "call for a favor" type friends.

Of course asking them should be the first thing, but if they don't give you a straight answer (or didn't, if you already asked when they called to cancel)...

Is the guy who had his work shift changed one of the people who cancelled? If so, maybe having him sit out until he gets another shift would work. At least if that's when the problems started, which seems like it from your post.

Maybe the longer time between games is causing people problems with focusing on their characters? I mention this because my D&D group meets every other week and when we skip a week it always seems to have an effect on one of the players - so much so that he had considered quitting. I don't really know what causes the issue, but maybe the same thing is happening in your group...

 

[Rackhir]

One of the hard cold nasty lessons I had to learn many, many years ago. Is that people will MAKE TIME for what they want to do. If people are always canceling and making no effort to arrange an alternate time, then you have people who aren't really interested in playing in the game. The key here is making an effort to find an alternative time. People who do try to find an alternative time are making an effort and want to play. People who don't try to find an alternative time and just go "I can't make it" aren't really interested.

If this is the case then trying to shift things so that everyone can make it is ultimately going to be a futile and pointless endeavor. Either change to something else people are willing to make an effort for or find new people who are willing to make an effort.

That said, problems two weeks in a row doesn't mean the end of the world. Both of the long running campaigns I'm in have had extended periods of several weeks or even months, when we just couldn't get things together on a regular basis. But everyone was making an effort to show up and making an effort to find a time when we could play.

One other thing is perhaps people simply aren't willing to spend the time to play on a weekly basis. Maybe once every other week or even 1-2 times a month might be more do able.

 

[Umbran]

I've just had five of my seven players cancel on me for tonight's game, for the second week in a row. This was after we had agreed last week to switch game nights for this week.

You're facing what I think it the #1 problem facing the post-college gaming population.

For professional adults, gaming is in competition with everything else in life for hours - kids, work, family obligations, other hobbies and entertainments. Basically, your game has to be engaging enough to compete well with those other things - and even that is no guarantee, because there's some things that are simply higher priority.

You have to find the pattern that fits your players, and that could take some thought, some talk, and some experimentation.

 

[billd91]

I play weekly with a pretty stable group of players, but even so, we have to cancel from time to time and the group has shifted in composition. Two players more or less drifted off, intially because some music classes got in the way (bagpipe lessons), another moved and has since moved back, one player started bringing his girlfriend, and 2 players had a baby and have recently rejoined.
One thing that helps is having a regular time every week. It's easy to plan around. But even so, various family and work responsibilities can get in the way. We still try to meet with whomever will be available and play something, even if not the regular game. It helps that we all like games like Settlers of Catan and RoboRally as well as RPGs.

Find out why everyone's canceling. There may be a rare coincidence of lots of things going on that hose the schedule. Or there may be a lot of people not finding the game very compeling so they don't feel that attending is as high a priority. Cancellations could be a symptom of problems in the game, or just of people hitting busy spots in their lives. Try to figure out which it is. If they aren't that into the game, try playing something else to recharge.

 

[Calico_Jack73]

Communication and Understanding

I've found myself in the same boat before. My group is composed of working professionals and most of us are parents. We came to the understanding that "Life Comes First" when we formed the group. This is where understanding comes into play.
That said, being busy working professional parents it is easy to forget about a game. Have a fixed schedule and don't deviate from it. We play the 2nd and 4th Fridays of each month. If we cancel then we just wait for the next regularly scheduled game rather than trying to make up the missed one on the "Down" week. I also use a Yahoo! Group to keep everyone informed about the gaming plans for our group.

However, if your players are just getting tired of playing I wouldn't pressure them. Let them take a break and come back if they feel like it. Pressure could make them leave your group for good.

 

[Clefton Twain]

Without knowing the reasons for the cancellations, it's tough to say.

The one who might be giving up RPGing permanently sounds like he/she is either burnt out or has other priorities.

If it's just burnout that is a problem with one or more players, you could always switch gears and go for some board games or perhaps start a different campaign for a while. Even a one-off game would be a change of pace.

But you'll never really know how to correct the situation without communication with the players. Find out if there is anything keeping them from the game table and find out how to correct it or compromise. Whatever needs to be done. If they really want to game, a way can be found.

--CT