D&D 5E How do you play D&D?

[Rhenny]

I play about half my games with a local group of friends and the rest online, sometimes with friends, sometimes with strangers (or a mix of both).

While playing with friends is great, I found that playing games with strangers allowed me to grow a lot more as a GM.

I agree. I think it also helps players grow too. In addition, sometimes playing with strangers adds a little more excitement because you can never be sure what might happen.

 

[MechaPilot]

In addition, sometimes playing with strangers adds a little more excitement because you can never be sure what might happen.

That's not always a plus. I had an experience playing with strangers that almost caused me to quit the hobby for good: nothing says "welcome to the table, new girl" quite like being pressured to RP the violation of a character on the first night you join a new group.

The only good thing to come out of it (aside from it not escalating to real life assault), is that I learned to ask what kind of content is allowed at each table before showing up, because not every DM is going to give you a heads up about potentially off-putting content being allowed.

 

[Queer Venger]

There is no option to vote for multiple entries.

 

[Rhenny]

That's not always a plus. I had an experience playing with strangers that almost caused me to quit the hobby for good: nothing says "welcome to the table, new girl" quite like being pressured to RP the violation of a character on the first night you join a new group.

The only good thing to come out of it (aside from it not escalating to real life assault), is that I learned to ask what kind of content is allowed at each table before showing up, because not every DM is going to give you a heads up about potentially off-putting content being allowed.

Yikes. That would definitely be a shock, and I would also say for me, quite distasteful. I'm glad I've never had a bad experience playing with strangers, but I definitely see how it could become a bad experience.

I was lucky, I got to know the people online before playing with them and kind-of-knew that the games I'd be playing in would not delve into less comfortable situations.

 

[MechaPilot]

Yikes. That would definitely be a shock, and I would also say for me, quite distasteful. I'm glad I've never had a bad experience playing with strangers, but I definitely see how it could become a bad experience.

I was lucky, I got to know the people online before playing with them and kind-of-knew that the games I'd be playing in would not delve into less comfortable situations.

You might have been lucky, but you also just might have been more careful. Until that happened, I had never had an experience like that with gaming (which was part of the reason that I didn't think to ask about what content would be allowed). Sure, I had run into some jerks who demanded that I play the cleric because no one else wanted to heal, and then they complained at me every time I cast a spell that wasn't a healing spell, but that's more in line with what I expect from strangers (which is to say selfishness, and a certain period of being the "outsider" until a friendship is established).

 

[pdzoch]

edit - duplicate post

 

[pdzoch]

Yikes. That would definitely be a shock, and I would also say for me, quite distasteful. I'm glad I've never had a bad experience playing with strangers, but I definitely see how it could become a bad experience.

I was lucky, I got to know the people online before playing with them and kind-of-knew that the games I'd be playing in would not delve into less comfortable situations.

What a horrible experience, Mechapilot. The game is a social event, and the group is more important than the game itself. Any game can be ruined by a bad group or even a bad player. This is a common discussion in the board game groups. I've always been very selective about who I play with, and I always explain the rules of my group and the themes in my game before allowing a player to join. They have to feel comfortable with the themes and the expectations everyone else will comply with the game standards of conduct.

I've explain this concept of group fit to many new players by explaining it to a group of poker players. The type of game (serious, light, amateur, professional, etc) completely changes how the game feels. Not every player is a good fit for the game style, and not everybody plays nice together.

I view the playing with strangers or public games as an opportunity to find other players who will fit in my personal group.

Nevertheless, high praise to you for looking past it and staying with the hobby.

 

[MechaPilot]

What a horrible experience, Mechapilot. The game is a social event, and the group is more important than the game itself. Any game can be ruined by a bad group or even a bad player. This is a common discussion in the board game groups. I've always been very selective about who I play with, and I always explain the rules of my group and the themes in my game before allowing a player to join. They have to feel comfortable with the themes and the expectations everyone else will comply with the game standards of conduct.

I've explain this concept of group fit to many new players by explaining it to a group of poker players. The type of game (serious, light, amateur, professional, etc) completely changes how the game feels. Not every player is a good fit for the game style, and not everybody plays nice together.

I view the playing with strangers or public games as an opportunity to find other players who will fit in my personal group.

Nevertheless, high praise to you for looking past it and staying with the hobby.

Well, one could say that I did quit for a little while. After that experience I quit that group (obviously), and for a couple months thereafter I didn't really do anything to actively find another group to play with. I don't think of it so much as quitting as I consider it to be taking some time to muster the ability to trust people again (as a shy person, it's very hard for me to open up, even to people I've known for a while. That also impacts my ability to fully portray characters at the table).

However, I didn't intend to make myself to focus of discussion/attention (I just meant to point out that one should use caution when joining a group of strangers). While I appreciate your distaste for the situation that I was put in (and Rhenny's distaste for it as well), I am more appreciative that you give people a heads-up about what they can expect in your games. We may or may not play together in the future (likely not, given our difference in locations, and my shyness preventing me from attending conventions), but even if we never do so I applaud your courtesy to potential players at your table.

 

[Psikerlord#]

Mostly online for me and currently with friends. I've had a few online stints with strangers too (campaign). Still meet up in person with friends every about 3-4 months for a session. But online once a week for 2 hours is just so regular, and so easy to organize, that it has become our dominant mode of play.

 

[rabindranath72]

Hmmm, I play 1-3 times a week in groups with people I met via LFG boards/Meetup etc - but as a result they have become my friends.

In person, with people met online and now I consider friends.
Hi there Jon
I wish we could play more often :/